Arnold quotes from Hey Arnold!

Arnold, I am so sorry!

[bitterly] Oh, it's you.

[as Arnold begins to walk away] I tried to call it off. I couldn't get through! I'm sorry!

Helga, are those flowers in your hair?

Helga

[disguised as a hall monitor] Yeah, you got a problem with it?

Phoebe

You set her up on purpose?

Can't believe you do something that mean.

Helga

Hey, she was ruining my life!

Gerald

Hey, Arnold! Back from the cool party already?

Yeah. Basically it stunk. So I left.

Gerald

Wanna go do something?

But I thought you had plans tonight?

Gerald

Nah, I just made that up so you wouldn't feel bad about goin' to Rhonda's party. You wanna go throw rocks at Helga throwing rocks at a dumpster?

Sure.

How about the Muave Avenger?

We are not calling our go-cart, the Muave Avenger. [Scene changes] I can't believe we called our go-cart the Muave Avenger.

Grandpa

[looking through a photo album] Heh Heh Heh, there’s Gertie rolling me in honey and staking me on top of an ant hill. [Arnold is seen walking up the stairs] That mischievous, pigtailed little imp. Oh mercy.

Hey Grandpa.

Grandpa

Why, if it isn’t young Arnold home from his day at school. How come you’re all covered in paint?

Helga poured it on me. So I poured some on her.

Grandpa

[stands up] What! Oh my word, you’ve snapped Arnold! You’ve turned into some kind of vicious, paint-pouring thug. [Arnold rolls eyes] I don’t know what to think about you any more. Why didn’t you follow your instincts like I told you?

I did Grandpa.

Grandpa

I wasn't talking about those instincts. I meant your good ones.

I know, Grandpa. I feel terrible. What should I do?

Grandpa

Well, you may be stuck with this girl for a long time, you better try and make peace.

Yeah, I'm gonna call Helga and apologize.

Helga

Oh, Arnold! So kind, so just, so moral! [is twirling around while the telephone cord is wrapping around her] You couldn't help but return to the ways I know and love. [she sighs and falls to the floor with a loud thump, Big Bob hears the fall from downstairs]

Helga?? Are you there??

Harold

This is gonna be great.

He's sure gonna be surprised.

Hey, guys, what are you doing here?

[giggles] We're all gonna moon Principal Wartz.

It was Harold's brilliant idea.

Harold

Want to do it with us?

I do not think so.

Harold

Oh, come on, it's fun.

It's all the rage.

All the Junior High Kids are doing it.

It sounds great, guys, but I think I'll pass.

Harold

Oh, you're just a chicken.

I am not chicken, Harold. It's just not such a good idea.

Harold

That's because you are a weenie. You don't have the guts, is all.

Yeah, you just don't have the guts.

Harold

No guts at all.

It's not that, I just...

Harold

Shh, shh. [heard Principal Wartz coming out of his office] Here he comes. Get ready on three. [Harold, Stinky, and Sid put on some masks and turn around] One...

Are you really gonna go through this?

Harold

Shh! Two... [they unzip and grab their pants, Principal Wartz walks down the hallway] Three! [everyone except Arnold bends over]

Principal Wartz

What the — What is this? [puts on his glasses and sees Harold, Stinky, and Sid mooning him] Oh, my! Whoa! [Harold, Stinky, and Sid pull up their pants, and run down the hallway laughing] Come back here, ya hooligans! [Harold, Stinky, and Sid ran out of the school and Principal Wartz was panting] You won't get away with this. [to Arnold] You there! Where do you think you are going, Young Man?

But, Principal Wartz, I told you, I didn't do anything.

Principal Wartz

Well, that, maybe, but you saw the hooligans who did do it.

Yeah.

Principal Wartz

Aha! Now we're getting somewhere. Just give me their names. Last name, first.

I can't do that.

Principal Wartz

This isn't a joke, Young Man. Do you think exposing portions of your anatomy to your School Principal is funny?

Well, I guess it depends...

Principal Wartz

Depends on what?

The situation.

Principal Wartz

Mooning is not funny. It's not a game! You may think it's a harmless schoolyard prank, but let me assure you, it is NOT! Someone could put an eye out. (Someone could lose an eye.)

Because of mooning.

Principal Wartz

I'll ask the questions here. Now, for the last time, you tell me the names of the boys who exposed themselves.

I can't do that, Principal Wartz.

Principal Wartz

Of course you can. It's easy.

If I told you, then, I'd be ratting on the other guys. And I can't do that.

Principal Wartz

I'm assigning you detention.

Detention? But why?

Principal Wartz

Failure to cooperate. I want to see you every day after school, in my office for the next four weeks.

Four weeks, but, sir, I...

Principal Wartz

That is all for now. [calls someone on the phone he picked up] Now, what is the name of our Art Teacher? Mrs. Flaunt, yes. Ask her to come in here, please, would you? And tell her to bring her sketch pad.

Harold

Hey, Arnold. You didn't tell on us, did you?

No, I didn't tell.

Harold

What did Wartz do to you?

He gave me four weeks detention.

Four weeks?

But you didn't even do anything.

I know, Stinky.

Harold

You better not rat on us, Arnold! 'Cause you know what will happen if you do!

I won't tell.

You think maybe it ain't fair for Arnold to take the blame for what we did?

You mean like, maybe we should go tell Wartz that we're the ones who mooned him, and get Arnold off the hook.

Harold

[jumps out of frustration] No, no, no! Arnold got caught; that's his fault, not ours. We got away with what we did, and that is all that counts. Nobody is going into Wartz's office and telling him what we did. Nobody! You got it?

I guess there's no sense in all three of us getting detention.

Hmm. I guess you're right, Harold. You figure he'll crack and spill the beans?

Gerald

[on the phone] Four weeks? That's hard time, Bubba.

He said he'd let me off the hook, if I tell him who mooned him.

Gerald

So, you're going to do it?

No.

Gerald

Why not? After all, you didn't do anything.

If Harold, Sid and Stinky want to tell Wartz what they did, that's their decision, but I'm not going to tell him. I'm not a rat.

Gerald

Man, that's solid. I mean it's stupid, but it's solid.

See you, Gerald. [hangs up the phone] [sighs deeply]

Principal Wartz

No, no, the Third Mooner had a rounder, fuller posterior with a mole on his right cheek. Very nice. Very nice, that's much better, Mrs. Flaunt. Now, Albert...

It's Arnold.

Principal Wartz

Right, right. Look, Arnold, I know you are not a bad kid. You'd keep saying you didn't actually display your end region to me, but those other three boys did. Can we agree on that?

Okay.

Principal Wartz

Good, okay. Now that we're on the same side of the fence on that point, let me pose this question to you: "What is the harm in just letting me know the names of the boys?"

Well, it's just that I...

Principal Wartz

You could just let them slip out, or whisper them to me, or we can play a guessing game until I got the answers.

No. I can't tell you.

Principal Wartz

Why?

I am not a rat.

Principal Wartz

Young Man, I must warn you that unless you'd play ball and tell me the names of the hooligans who exposed themselves to me, I will be forced to take note of your lack of cooperation, and write it down for all eyes and ears to see on your Permanent Record.

I reckon this will go on his permanent record.

I don't know if I could take the pressure.

What do you bet he cracks and rats us all out?

Harold

Don't worry. Arnold's not a snitch. He won't rat.

I don't know, Harold...

Harold

I'm telling you, he won't rat! [to Arnold] Did you rat?

No, Harold, I didn't rat.

Harold

Well, you'd better not, 'cause if you do, you know what will happen.

You'll pound me.

Harold

That's right, I'll pound you.

Yeah, right.

Harold

I will, Arnold. You can believe me! [stutters] You know what, I'll pound you so good that you'll be sorry!

Gerald

So, you want to go to the arcade.

I can't, I still have detention.

Gerald

Oh yeah, I forgot. Four weeks? Man, you really took the fall for those guys, didn't you!

Yup.

Principal Wartz

Don't think of it as being a snitch. Just think of it as being a good citizen. [gives a box of chocolate to Arnold as an offer] Chocolate cream? [Arnold rejects] You know, Albert...

Arnold.

Principal Wartz

You know, Arnold. It's not easy to do the right thing.

Harold

[looking at Arnold talking to Principal Wartz outside with his binoculars] He's gonna rat. He's gonna rat.

Principal Wartz

When I was a boy, I found myself in the situation very similar to the one you're in right now.

Really?

Principal Wartz

Mmm-hmm. You see, I witnessed several of my fellow classmates placing a frog in our teacher's desk. When she came back and discovered the frog, she singled me out and demanded that I'd tell her who was responsible.

What did you do?

Principal Wartz

I did the right thing. I sang like a canary. I tattled on every single one of them.

What happened?

Principal Wartz

The culprits were severely punished, and I was rewarded with a gold star. Oh, sure, my classmates were pretty mad at me at first. They called me a weasel, they refused to eat lunch with me, and they beat me up on a regular basis. In fact my reputation as a weasel followed me all the way into high school and college. I was stuffed into lockers, and had "KICK ME" signs taped to my back. I can't tell you the abuse I've suffered from practically every person I ever came in contact with. I didn't have a date till I was 23, but I didn't care about those things, because I knew that I had done the right thing. And in the end, I overcame all that abuse, and I grew up to become an Elementary School Principal. Wouldn't you like to become an Elementary School Principal?

Not really.

Principal Wartz

Ooh!