Hell's Kitchen quotes

Petrozza.

Yes, chef.

You're a gentleman.

Thanks, chef, that means a lot coming from you.

Okay, two beef, one wellington, one salmon.

Yes, chef!

(points to Matt) You, come here you! Come here, round here! Look at those pieces of meat there. You've got one fucking large one, one medium one and one small one. What are you doing?

(interview) Matt's meat, all three were totally different. Are you serious?

That's not good enough for me. So there you go. There's the daddy, there's the mummy, there's the fucking baby. Supposing that's the critic's table; one has that (large piece of beef) and another's got that (small piece of beef). [Picks up the small piece] Supposing that's medium-well. What happens?

It'll definitely shrink. (interview) The tenderloins really do shrink when they cook. I know better than that. I'm an idiot.

Look at it! We're fucked! [pounds the counter] What did I say to you? I'm looking for everything.

Yes, chef. Got it, chef.

Don't piss around now, yeah? That's bullshit!

Yes, chef.

Hey, Mr Inconsistent. Wake up.

Yes, chef!

Christina!

Yes, chef!

Salmon nice that side [flips it over with a spatula] turn it round you got a big dry overcooked piece of shit! Salmon how long?

I might need seven minutes.

(interview) Salmon is a very quick process, it only takes a couple of minutes.

Christina can you do two things at once?

Urf, I've got two entrées & some scallops!

If you can't control two things at once, you shouldn't be here.

No I-I!

Shut up, will you? I really fucking mean it from the bottom of my heart!

Sorry, chef.

Get your salmon on now!

One minute, Christina!

(interview) My timing was so wrong, it's like all a sudden I hit a train wreck

Christina, I want it now!

Finally, you fucking lazy cow. Tonight's not your night is it!?

No, chef!

How are you doing Rosann?

Where's the fucking garnish? [Rosann's garnish pan catches fire] That's burned! Hey madam, come here. Why are you burning veg?

It was an accident chef.

(interview) Rosann just doesn't know how to organize herself. She gets herself worked up and burns garnishes...

The beef is cooked and I still haven't got the garnish.

(interview)...and it screws up the rest of the team.

You're not trustworthy on service! I'm nervous with you in the kitchen! We haven't got the garnish, Rosann!

I'm have to tell you as a profession, this is the last order of gnocchi that I have and I'm going to be short on the last order.

Oh...fucking shit.

I'm sorry. Sorry, chef.

I'm sorry you're here. Oh fucking hell. Carrot purée! How long?

Chef's calling for carrot purée.

Carrot purée?

Carrot purée!

Carrot purée, let's go.

Where's the carrot purée? Where is it? Rosann!

I'm running out of c...carrot purée.

Oh, my God almighty. [goes over to the glass window and repeatedly bangs his head] Fuck me.

How about some carrots chef? I'll give you baby carrots chef. Carrots or mash? I've got plenty of mash!

While Chef Ramsay takes a moment to reflect...

Matt, from here, they look raw. THEY LOOK RAW!

The Red kitchen is a disaster.

I got it, chef.

Can you get the beef back in the fucking oven?!

(to Matt) How long, Matt?

I don't know anymore.

Come on, Matt! Bounce the fuck back!

I fucking hear it!

Let's go, Matt. Let's get that up.

Fuck!

Beef, chicken, wellington. How long?

Coming to the pass. (brings his meat to the pass)

[checking Matt's tenderloins] Oh, fuck. Here we go. Chef Matt, so there's the beef. THAT LOOKS LIKE A PILE OF SHIT! And you have the nerve to give me that with the critics out there. Hey, hey, fuck, you serve it. See what standards you got. Serve it!

No chef.

Stand there and look at the customers.

Chef, I won't serve it.

Hey come here, you as well, and you, you're just as bad. Hey, would you serve that to a critic?

Definitely not.

Would you serve that to a critic? [Rosann shakes her head] Would you serve that to a critic?

No, chef.

Would you serve that to a critic?

No chef.

So, let's get this right, you wouldn't serve it. But you'd give it to me. [Throws the beef on the stove] GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT! Upstairs! Fuck off will you?

Louross! Raw steak!!

Ohhhhhh.

And he goes like this, "Ohhhhhh." as if he's performing for the Oscars. If your fucking cooking was as good as your acting, you'd be talented, you dick!

(interview) It started off good and then all of the sudden, it fucking went downhill.

What's the matter?

Twenty-three. They're all medium rare.

Oh fuck me! Ohhhhh. Louross! Come here, you! Let's go and you touch it well. Come on, touch! (touches the raw steak on his hand)

Blue, chef! BLUE!

Yeah, it's raw. How could I get down on my knees. Yeah, it's fucking raw! Hey, look at me! Is that better? It's raw, you fucking idiot!

(interview) Louross is really just dropped the ball to horrific, horrendous, it's just horrible. He just could not handle meat station at all.

Oh, fucking hell! Oh, come on.

(to himself) This is not good at all.

[after Jean-Philippe returned again with filet mignon] Hey, you, you, you, come here! Look at that... look! Three of the have come back! You put your team into shit!

(interview) I hate the word "filet mignon" out, I do seriously. If I ever see another filet mignon, I will like throw it. Oh like, that someone's face.

(to Louross) One more fucking steak returns to the kitchen, I'm closing your kitchen.

With the threat of a shut down looming, Louross tries again on the meat station.

(to Jean-Philippe) What about the lady on [table] 41 with the filet mignon?

They just left, chef.

They just left? (calls out Louross) Hey, come here you! The customer's gone! Customer's fucking GONE. (tears the ticket then throws it to Louross) SHIT!! (kicks the bins)

It's not even cooked.

Is it raw?

Yeah.

(to Jen) Watch, watch. There you go. (drains some liquid from the dessert and drops the dessert on the plate, breaking it) HEY--FUCK--OFF! Dumb Jen, turn your stove off!

Louross was never short on energy. He was just short on cooking ability.

Fire a wellington, chicken, John Dory... [notices that Christina is cooking beef and chicken in the same pan] Uh, excuse me. [to Christina] Why are we cooking chicken and beef in the same pan?

Sorry chef there just wasn't a lot of room up here on these burners

Supposedly someone doesn't like red meat!

(interview) I thought hot pan, plenty of room let's just cook it, it'll be cool.

Get it out!

Yes, chef. (interview) No, not cool!

Bobby, they've (Christina) got beef and chicken in a pan. Now you've got salmon and scallops in the pan.

Uh... I needed this time to fly (interview) Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo. I didn't really have an excuse.

Hey, aren't you allergic to shellfish?

Yeah. (interview) Chef was right! Woo!

Oh, my God!

[sees Matt eating] Why are you eating?

I'm not. I'm ta-

COME HERE, YOU! YOU FUCKING IDIOT! I'm standing here struggling to get food out, I just watched you turn and eat!

I'm tasting my wellingtons, chef.

(points to the customers) They're struggling and you're going to be the one fucking eating!

(interview) Matt, are you kidding me?

Can I get some meats out here, please?

Yes, chef!

With food finally leaving the kitchen, all Chef Ramsay wants...

Why are we going with this table?

I'm coming up with it, chef! (brings his meat to the pass)

...is to keep it going.

All of you, just fucking come here! You (Corey) as well with your burn! This is why I'm pissed off! Touch that. That's (wellington) fucking raw, and that's (beef) fucking what? Look at the colour of it. [Matt tries to retrieve the meat; Gordon knocks his hand away, gets a filet and wellington and angrily throws them in the bin] I'M ASKING YOU A QUESTION! SHIT!! I'm asking you the question, what is it?! It's overcooked!!

(interview) Matt seems to be like a 5-year old trapped in a 35-year old body. He doesn't know when to stop.

(gets a ticket at the pass) Sorry, chef.

Oh, please. Don't touch me.

I have a migraine.

Oh, can you fuck... I need the ticket here! (Matt leaves the pass, Gordon asks him) What's going next?

I'm busy getting yelled at.

Fucking idiot, come here! What did you say then? You're busy getting what?

No, chef.

You just gave me overcooked meat, overcooked fucking filet, overcooked. Now you're saying "I'm getting yelled at!"

(interview) It wasn't my fault when everyone else fell behind. I'm the big team player, I just don't team players around me.

So don't start acting fucking smarmy with me while we're standing here in the shit, whereas you put me in the shit!

I can't fucking concentrate anymore.

Salmon, John Dory, chicken, wellington, fillet mignon, rib eye!

Guys, how long now?

I don't know, I'm trying to work on my migraine.

(interview) Matt is someone who is excuses for himself. Absolute fucked in a headache you know, come on pull through it. He's a crybaby and he is definitely getting more insane by in a minute. (to Matt) Matt, how long on the fillet?

(to Corey) I'll tell you in a second. (holds a well cooked fillet mignon) three minutes.

You guys are a fucking bunch of losers. (to Matt) What's going, Matt? What's going?

Two risottos, one fillet, one lamb and fish (salmon).

No!

No, that's right. No. He's got migraine. Look! Hey, look at there, Scott!

(laughs) Oh, fuck!

Not funny. I got a medical pills and I work through it.

He's got a migraine. Come here in a minute and let me just tell you something, you have a migraine? (quietly, to Matt) I've had one ever since you walked in here. Why have you just forty-two minutes ago to completely forgot and give you a favour?

I have no feeling in my hands--

No feeling in your hands? Yeah, come here. [takes hold of Matt's hand and walks him out of the kitchen, as if though Matt just peed his pants] Go upstairs the dorm and lie down, yes? Lie down.

But I want to work through it.

[turns around] GET OUT! FUCKING GET OUT! (rekindles Matt) "I got a migraine?" Fuck off... fucking useless pieceashit...

(interview) Matt doesn't take any responsibility for his actions, everybody in this place here has a migraine right now my brain feels like it's about to explode but I don't give up in that kitchen

FOUR MINUTES TO THE WINDOW TWO WELLINGTON, ONE FUCKING RIBEYE! HURRY UP CHRISTINA!

Yes, chef. [Sees a pan of rice] Oh, shit! [holds the rice and burns her hand] Who the fuck left this rice on here, guys?

What is that?

It's burnt rice, chef.

Who put that on there?

I don't know, chef.

Sorry. chef. I forgot about it.

Fucking useless. [scrapes the burnt rice and throws it on a chopping board]

(interview) Jen burnt the rice. It was sitting on my station, all she has to do and say, "Hey, I'm putting this rice here."

(quietly to Jen) Get out. Get out and get to the dorm. GET OUT! I'm not fucking around now. Get out!

(interview) I completely forgot that I put the rice on. I feel bad for that and that was my honest mistake.

(to Christina) Hey, she put it on, you've been standing next to it for an hour, you take off your apron and fuck off as well!

Yes, chef.

(interview) Oh, my God has this been a crazy night!

Hey, all of you: Fuck yourselves. Get out! GET OUT! [The remaining chefs leave the kitchen] Fuck off will you, yeah? [rubbing his face] Oh... Shit!

There once was a boy named Matt, whose kitchen performance fell flat. He was far from neat, miserable on meat, so I kicked him out and that's that.

Yeah, anything piping hot-- [grabs the handle of the pan and burns his hand] Ah, shit! Fuck! Ah shit! Don't stop and look stupid like some thick cow!

Yes, chef.

Aw, fuck! Fuck's sake! [cools his hand with cold water] Christina, the handle was over the flame. The fucking handle's over the stove, at least say something to somebody.

Yes, chef.

Now, you're just acting like a fucking idiot. Yes?

No, chef.

(interview) Chef Ramsay was burning bad by Christina today. I know he was pissed!

SHIT!

(interview) Ooh, Christina messing up over there for real.

Fuck me!

Do not burn the chef!

Fuck! Look at me and I'm fucking serious now. If a handle is over the fucking flame, say something, will you please, yes?

Yes, chef.

One more time and you're fucking finished!

(interview) I just burned Chef Ramsay. That's really not cool. My mistake. Not going to happen again, trust me.

Garnish, please!

Coming right now, chef. Coming, chef.

[grabs the handle and burns his hand again] Aw, shit! Fucking hell! I'm getting fucked here again! Christina, I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!

(interview) When Chef Ramsay burned himself twice, you can smell his skin all across the room burning. I'm like DAMN!!

[cools his hand again] SHIT! Hey look, come here you look. [pours cold water over the handle and steam comes off] You're not even fucking telling me.

(interview) He poured water over the handle of the pot and it sizzled. It was really hot.

That's unbearable now.

I was just like oh, shit!

Now I think you're doing it on purpose to fucking wire me up. Hey, you're doing it really well because I'm getting fucked off! If a pan handle is over the fucking flame, say something! Will you please, yes?

Yes, chef!

Wake up!

Yes, chef. (interview) (sighs)