Miley Stewart quotes from Hannah Montana

Jackson

Let me paint you a picture. [grabs an apple and an orange] Hi, I'm Miley Stewart. (in a high, squeaky voice) And I'm her brother Jackson. [deepens voice and waves the apple] We snuck out to a movie last night where we saw you on a date with our father. Why are we telling you this? Out of an insane desire to get caught & grounded for the rest of our natural lives!

Miley

[rolls her eyes and stalls for time] Why do you always get to be the apple?

Miley

I can't! I'm from Tennessee. We don't do that.

Lilly

Well you're in California now, and we do do that.

Lilly

What?

Jackson

You said "do do"!

Miley

Grow up!

Jackson

You're the one that can't ask the guy out.

Miley

He's not just a guy, he's a ninth grader. I can't just put Eighth grade moves on him.

Lilly

Good point. And besides, he probably doesn't even know you're alive. You're like some dried up insect on the windshield of his life. Not even in the center. You're way off to the side where the wipers don't reach. [making windshield wiper movements] squeak, squeak, squeak, splat. Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak....

Miley

Lilly.

Lilly

What?

Miley

This is officially the worst peptalk ever.

Miley

Then I ate a napkin, and then Jackson was all, "You said 'do do'" and Lilly was all, "Bug on the windshield," and I was all "Good night everybody!" and that's why we have to move.

Robby

Sorry darling.

Robby

Hello...Hold on. Miles, it's for you.

Miley

I can't talk to anyone right now. Could you just make something up?

Robby

Sorry Josh, she's in the bathroom. It could be a while.

Miley

No!

Robby

Hold on, sounds like she's finishing up.

Miley

Give me that phone. Hi. This is Miley.

Jackson

"It could be a while." You, sir, do not know how good you are.

Robby

Next time, I'm letting the machine pick up. You realize how much easier life was when she believed boys had cooties?

Miley

Yes! I can't believe it. I'm going out with a ninth grader! Woo-hoo! [pumps fist]

Robby

Don't believe it, because I'm not letting you go! Woo-hoo! [pumps fist]

Miley

This is so unfair. [pouts and gazes at her father]

Robby

Sad face.

Miley

[nods]

Robby

[points at his own face] Not-buying-it-face.

Miley

Isn't that interesting? You have your opinion and he has his. You've gotta love a guy who isn't afraid to say how he feels!

I'm a little afraid to say anything right now.

Miley

No, you're not. If everybody says that they like hamburgers, then he's not afraid to say that he likes hot dogs! Right? [nods]

Okay. [looks confused]

Miley

And some people like skiing, and he's not afraid to say that he likes snowboarding!

Yeah! [picks up magazine with Hannah Montana on the cover] Some people like Hannah Montana, and I'm not afraid to say she stinks!

Miley

Abso— What?

Robby

Son of a gun. [puts arm around Miley] The boy's got three feet.

Miley

This is so frustrating. I spent all day yesterday trying to get Josh like Hannah Montana.

Oliver

How'd it go? [fans out cards]

Miley

[smiles and fakes excitement] It went really well. He loves Hannah now, and we're getting married. [voice turns sarcastic] How do you think it went, ya doughnut!

Oliver

I'm going to go with not so well.

Lilly

Ding, ding, ding! And we have a winner.

Miley

Lilly, I'm serious. How can I go out with a guy who doesn't like half of me?

Lilly

He doesn't know he doesn't like half of you. So just let him think the half of you he likes is all of you. As long as the other half keeps her mouth shut, the three of you should make a beautiful couple.

Oliver

I'll never get chick math. [shakes head]

Oliver

Guys! You'll never guess who made the cover of the entertainment section! [waves newspaper]

Miley

[grabs a football] Hey Oliver! Go long! [throws football]

Oliver

Too looooooong! [jumps high to catch the football and falls off the edge of that part of the beach]

Miley

On the other hand,the beach sounds fun,too.

Lilly

But the mall has cute clothes.

Miley

But the beach has cute boys.

Lilly

TO THE BEACH!

Miley

Mom always knew the right stuff to buy me. She had great taste. But dad. Oh, man, he has the taste of a month-old pickle.

Lilly

Look, no dad knows how to shop for a girl. You know what my dad gave me for my last birthday? A savings bond. You can touch it, you can feel it, but you can’t spend it. Pointless.

Miley

Well, I’d take a saving bond instead of one of these presents any day. Behold... the ghosts of holidays past. [Shows Lilly the dresses]

Lilly

I think I’m gonna be sick. I need a fashion magazine! Cool, hip, trendy... Okay, all better. I can’t believe you actually wore these in public.

Miley

Oh please, they never made it out of the house.

Miley! Let’s see that pretty birthday number.

Miley

[Spills tomato juice on her dress] Daddy does tomato juice stain?

Miley

[Throws spaghetti over her dress] Mamma mia! Thatsa bigga staina!

Lilly

Why don’t you just say something to him?

Miley

Because I don’t want to hurt his feelings. You should see the look on his face when he gives it to me and says, “I picked this out special for you, bud.”

Lilly

Oh, the puppy dog look. My Dad gets me to shampoo grandma with that one.

Miley

Well you know, I don’t think I can take another one of his looks or another one of his presents. There’s gotta be a way to stop him from shopping again.

Lilly

Well, what are you gonna do? It’s not like he’s gonna take you along with him.

Miley

[Smiles] True. But he might take you.

Miley

Oh, hey, why don't you try out with me?

Lilly

Cheerleading? Give me an N! Give me an O! What's that spell?! No.

Miley

Have any questions?

Lilly

A couple. First, what the hecky is a herky? Second, if one is called a pompom, does that make two of them, pompompompoms? [turning to a "thinking" pose] These are the questions that haunt me.…

Miley

Show me what you got.

Lilly

Go team, throw the ball. Go team, to the mall!