Mom always knew the right stuff to buy me. She had great taste. But dad. Oh, man, he has the taste of a month-old pickle.
Look, no dad knows how to shop for a girl. You know what my dad gave me for my last birthday? A savings bond. You can touch it, you can feel it, but you can’t spend it. Pointless.
Well, I’d take a saving bond instead of one of these presents any day. Behold... the ghosts of holidays past. [Shows Lilly the dresses]
I think I’m gonna be sick. I need a fashion magazine! Cool, hip, trendy... Okay, all better. I can’t believe you actually wore these in public.
Oh please, they never made it out of the house.
Flashback to two years ago
Miley! Let’s see that pretty birthday number.
[Spills tomato juice on her dress] Daddy does tomato juice stain?
Flashback to one year ago
[Throws spaghetti over her dress] Mamma mia! Thatsa bigga staina!
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