TV show quotes
So much of life comes down to choosing sides. Growing up, Jimmy and I were always on the same side. Mostly because no side ever wanted either one of us. Except in softball, where I was quite the stud. But, uh, you know, in all fairness, only because my strike zone is smaller than the ball.
Greg (angrily): They just want me to shut up and take my clothes off..
Why don't they get Warren to shut up and Dottie to take her clothes off?
You need to penetrate and personify proper puppet power!
Dude, you were crying?
Oh, you're one to talk! You bawl like a baby every time you watch Rudy!
Yeah, because he's so little, but he tries so big...
Warren, you are a self-hating sock!
Self-hating sock with a mini-fridge.
[driving a forklift he has just picked up a bike rack with] Now I'm strong!
Are you okay, Dottie?
(crying) Yes Greg, now go away
You don't look okay -- what's wrong?
I can't tell you, it's too embarassing
Is it more embarrassing than peeing pants during a little league game and then to hide it you fall in a puddle but nobody buys it and everyone starts calling you "Puddle Pants"?
Yeah it's more embarrassing.
Is it more embarrassing than seeing 'Nightmare on Elm Street' and you're so scared you pee youself so you pour soda on it but nobody buys it and everyone changes your nickname from "Puddle Pants" to "Pepsi Pants"?
Yes Greg, it's more embarrassing.
Oh... then what's wrong?
Ira was really into MC Hammer. So one night I set up a video camera...and I danced around seductively to 'U Can't Touch This'...He said he's going to put the tape on the internet and then everyone will see it.
Hey, there he goes. He's pulling in to that scuzzy motel.
Oh, wow. I am having total deja vu. Oh, that's right -- I bring whores here.
Alright, you're all such great actors -- why don't you act like you're putting your weapons down.
Jack, you were in 'Nam. What do you do when someone points a weapon at you, blah?
You spend three years in a bamboo cage.
Leo, Warren Demontague. The pleasure is mutual. Looking forward to our scene together.
Correct me if I'm wrong. But if I'm playing a mailman, why would I be doing a scene with a dog?
I, sir, am an actor first, a puppet second, and an ape third! I am not a dog! But if I were, I would bite you thusly!
Oh, there you are, Gil. I hear you're casting for a singing mailman.
Yeah. He delivers letters... of the alphabet.
Oh my God. And then, instead of taking me home -- which I asked him, obviously, to take me home -- he takes me to his home. Get it? Like, his home. But then this morning--
Alison, sometimes I ask people "What's new" just to be polite.
So, everyone makes mistakes. But, hey, that's okay, as long as you also make friends. Friends'll do anything for you. Especially if they have friends who'll do anything for a couch.
Uh, by the way, I know about the gin in your suck nozzle.
I got your suck nozzle right here, sister.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Greg the Bunny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
