Dottie Sunshine quotes from Greg the Bunny

Dottie

Gil organized a big paintball war for this weekend. Apparently, shooting each other is supposed to promote office unity.

Dottie

Ira was really into MC Hammer. So one night I set up a video camera...and I danced around seductively to 'U Can't Touch This'...He said he's going to put the tape on the internet and then everyone will see it.

Dottie

And as a beloved television star, Rochester touched millions of adoring fans. Fortunately, only six of them pressed charges.

Dottie

Look, I know Jack's a little strange. But he's not stalking you. When would he have the time, with all his anger management classes and gun club meetings?

Gil

Guys, guys, can we just try and get this right, because the new boss from the network is here.

Dottie

Where'd she come from?

Gil

PBS.

Blah

Looks more like PMS, blah.

Dottie

You think I'm fat.

Blah

No, that's--that's Warren.

Would you like a fistful of gold, Liberace?

Blah

Oh, Liberace. Tough talk coming from Notorious P.I.G.

Dottie

Jimmy, I like this outfit, but... don't you think it's a bit much? I mean, my grandmother watches this show.

Jimmy

Well, Dottie, we're not doing this show for the grandmothers. We're doing it for the kids.

Dottie

Oh, okay. As long as it's for the kids. I'll just be practicing on my go-go pole.

Gil

Yeah, well, like I said, it's not my problem.

Dottie

But that's what you do. When we complain, you fix.

Gil

Top four answers on the board. Show me "Not My Problem." Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Yeah, I'd like to change categories, and take "Television's Biggest Jackasses" for $400.

Alison

I know you all fear change, so from now on, any changes will be referred to as "enhancements."

Dottie

Oh, I got enhancements.

Alison

You don't have the guts. Drop it.

Dottie

You drop it.

Ladies, ladies. Let's just cool out. Now let's all agree that it'd be nice to have a penis. But the sad truth is, we don't. And some of us probably never will.

Alison

You organized the game.

Gil

I'm... not sure that's... true. Uh, Doris, would you find out who organized the paintball game, and why the ladies weren't invited?

Dottie

You're talking into a humidor.

Gil

Doris, what happened to my intercom?

Dottie

There is no Doris.

Gil

Edna, would you find out what happened to Doris?

Dottie

Okay! She wasn't my friend, she was my maid! Okay?! My maid was a puppet! Is that what you wanted to hear?! Does that make you happy?!

Hey, my maid's a puppet. You know, she's terrible, but she's illegal, so I can pay her dirt.

Are you okay, Dottie?

Dottie

(crying) Yes Greg, now go away

You don't look okay -- what's wrong?

Dottie

I can't tell you, it's too embarassing

Is it more embarrassing than peeing pants during a little league game and then to hide it you fall in a puddle but nobody buys it and everyone starts calling you "Puddle Pants"?

Dottie

Yeah it's more embarrassing.

Is it more embarrassing than seeing 'Nightmare on Elm Street' and you're so scared you pee youself so you pour soda on it but nobody buys it and everyone changes your nickname from "Puddle Pants" to "Pepsi Pants"?

Dottie

Yes Greg, it's more embarrassing.

Oh... then what's wrong?

Dottie

Oh, there you are, Gil. I hear you're casting for a singing mailman.

Gil

Yeah. He delivers letters... of the alphabet.

Dottie

Oh, and by the way, guys, uh, Leo is a little quirky. He'd prefer it if you didn't talk to him too much.

Blah

Well, fine, the last thing we need is a disgruntled, singing postal worker, blah.