Greg the Bunny quotes

Hey, James. Winston had a little accident on your lawn.

Ooh, is he dead? Oh. That kind of accident.

Alison

You organized the game.

Gil

I'm... not sure that's... true. Uh, Doris, would you find out who organized the paintball game, and why the ladies weren't invited?

Dottie

You're talking into a humidor.

Gil

Doris, what happened to my intercom?

Dottie

There is no Doris.

Gil

Edna, would you find out what happened to Doris?

Gil

End of discussion.

No, it is not end of discussion, Gil! I do not want to sing this song with Dottie! I do not want to sing this song with Blah! I want to sing this song all by myself, you hear me? Me, me, me, me, me!

Gil

Warren, I really don't think this is the right attitude for "The Sharing Song."

Dottie

Gil organized a big paintball war for this weekend. Apparently, shooting each other is supposed to promote office unity.

Teamwork. Two people of like mind working together for the common good. Nothing can beat it... Well, except maybe three people of like mind.

Jimmy

That is one pissed off bunny.

Gil

I have a feeling this is going to end with puppets rioting in the streets. This is the Fozzie Bear verdict all over again.

Yes, you know, the boy is absolutely right. The way we puppets are depicted on television is deplorable.

Gil

You play a professor.

Not a good one. I'm drunk half the time.

Jack

What do you get when you add two pieces of ice with one piece of ice?

What?

Jack

Threezing. Brrrr!

Gil

...but the, uh, the truth is -- and it pains me to say this -- uh, that outfit makes you look, uh, fat. I mean, really, really heavy.

Alison

Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Like, morbidly obese. You know, like, people are going to say, you know, "What did he eat? Wilson Phillips?" She's not fat anymore, but there's three of them.

Jack

I once saw a street puppet in an outfit like that get hit by a car. Flew 30 feet. Looked like a clown shot out of a cannon. Except there was no net, so it was... funny in a different way.

Oh, God. You know something? I wish one of the voices in your head would just tell you to shut the hell up.

...then, he reached out--

He touched you?!

Tardy

Nobody's 'upposed to touch me where my bathing suit covers!

Dottie

Okay! She wasn't my friend, she was my maid! Okay?! My maid was a puppet! Is that what you wanted to hear?! Does that make you happy?!

Hey, my maid's a puppet. You know, she's terrible, but she's illegal, so I can pay her dirt.

Well, you guys cover your asses faster than the new guy in D Block.

The philosopher Wittgenstein once wrote that, since it is through language that we think, it is language that limits us. And while the Puppish language may have 16 words for "furry," it apparently has no word for "Jimmy." If you ask me, that just blows.

Gil

...and our little friend, Greg... Beetle-Beetlejuice.

It's Bizzlebosh. I think. And don't say "Beetlejuice" two more times.