Greg the Bunny quotes from Greg the Bunny

So, puppets and humans may seem different, but, you know, in the end, we all want the same things. Love, acceptance, and... to luck our way into a cushy job that we really don't deserve.

Jimmy, you know how hard it is for me to get a job out there. I am sick of working one day a year on Easter.

Fact: There are 3.2 million puppets -- or as we prefer to be called, Fabricated Americans -- currently residing in the United States. And, despite all of our many accomplishments, most people would still rather chamois their car with us than have us date their daughters. But, you know, I don't let it get me down. Hey, after all, you know, some of my best friends are humans.

Needless to say, we went back to the old Sweetknuckle Junction. Alison told Jimmy that his ideas just weren't jelling creatively with the network. Not to mention all the lawsuits we got from the parents of those twitching kids. Jimmy, you know, the hard-driven creative consultant went back to just being, well... Jimmy. And that's a'ight with me.

There's an old saying: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. And, personally, I never liked that saying. No, I thought it should go: If it's workin' alright, just say goodnight. Huh, see, 'cause, well, for starters, it rhymes. And... well, anyway, who would I talk to about changing that?

Jimmy, come on, this is paintball! We practiced for a month! We devised intricate battle plans! I even had myself Scotchguarded!

Oh my God! Oh my God! Stop! Sit! Play dead! Play paralyzed! Play anything! Just play it away from me!

Teamwork. Two people of like mind working together for the common good. Nothing can beat it... Well, except maybe three people of like mind.

The philosopher Wittgenstein once wrote that, since it is through language that we think, it is language that limits us. And while the Puppish language may have 16 words for "furry," it apparently has no word for "Jimmy." If you ask me, that just blows.

So much of life comes down to choosing sides. Growing up, Jimmy and I were always on the same side. Mostly because no side ever wanted either one of us. Except in softball, where I was quite the stud. But, uh, you know, in all fairness, only because my strike zone is smaller than the ball.

So, everyone makes mistakes. But, hey, that's okay, as long as you also make friends. Friends'll do anything for you. Especially if they have friends who'll do anything for a couch.

Everyone makes mistakes. Hell, history's full of 'em. Betamax... Waterworld... your brother who's 16 years younger than you... And there's really no shame in making mistakes. Just as long as nobody knows about them.

Looking back, it was pretty amazing how we all stuck by each other... Even Alison took one for the team... Well, we spent the whole day pretending to be a family. And the biggest surprise of the night was that we already were one.

Leo Tolstoy began "Anna Karenina" by writing that all happy families resemble one another, while every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way. Yeah, that's right -- I've read the first page of a lot of books.

Well, when you think about it, father-son relationships are a lot like omelets. You know, the more you put into them, the better they're going to be. Nobody likes them when they're cold, and if you want to make a good one, sometimes you got to break a few eggs.