Kevin, for the last time, I am not interested.
How could you say that to Kevin?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Look, times are tough, the economy or whatever, et cetera. Bottom line is… I'm going to have to cut your pay.
WIWaddles in Soos's Body
[Puts hand on Stan's face.]
What are you doing?
WWaddles
[Breathes eerily]
Is this some kind of negotiating tactic? Because it's not going to work.
WWaddles
[Continues breathing creepily]
Alright, I was lying, I'll give you a raise, just never do that again!
[in Grenda's body] Oh, no! Then again, I like having muscles for once.
[in Mabel's body] Wow! Now I have tiny little doll hands!
[in McGucket's body] Cool, I'm Santa Claus.
[in Candy's body] Whoo-ee! [laughs] I've regained my innocence!
[in Waddles' body] Well, I guess I'm a pig now. So, that's a thing.
[in Grenda's body] This body's not that different from my old one.
[in McGucket's body] My horoscope didn't say anything about this.
[in Dipper's body] AHH! What's happenin' to me?!
[in Officer Blubs' body] I am police officer now.
[in Officer Durland's body] Let's go bust some perps, Candy.
SEV'RAL TIMEZ is playing at the the Gravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet.
Ughh, Sev'Ral Timez? Aren't they that boy band that came a decade too late?
[Cut to a music video of Sev'Ral Timez doing "Cray Cray Feat Lenz Flar"]
SRSev'Ral Timez
Oh Oh! Girl you got me actin' so Cray Cray! (Cray-Cray!) You say you won't be my baby! We're not threatening!
Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake - Right?
Dipper's right. They're just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry.
You're making my dance sad.
You guys can't ruin this for me. Mabel's got backup.
[Grenda and Candy come rolling into the Shack decked out with Sev'Ral Timez merch]
Hey guys.
Woo-Hoo.
I'm ready for the greatest night of our live. [singing] "How many times am I gonna love ya?"
GCGrenda and Candy
"SEV'RAL TIMEZ!"
[Grenda Candy and Mabel run away giggling]
Uhhh, GIRLS.
I know, Right?
[Dipper talking to Stan about Wendy]
So wait...You actually believe my theory?
You're darn right I do. And we're gonna get to the bottom of it...Right after I get to the bottom of this brown meat.
[Stan opens a can of brown meat and downs it]
It's APOCA-LICIOUS!
[During the Sev'Ral Timez concert, Deep Chris sits down to talk to his audience]
DCDeep Chris
Hey Girl, I just wanna get real for a moment and say that while we love being superstars, the real reason we do this... is for you. For you specifically, not the girl sitting next to you, but YOU.
CGConcert Girl1
I LOVE YOU DEEP CHRIS!
CGConcert Girl2
HE WAS TALKING TO ME!
[All the girls start throwing chairs and fighting. Tyler Cutebiker is at the show watching the mayhem]
TCTyler Cutebiker
Git 'Em, Git 'Em.
SRSev'Ral Timez
Thank you! Good Night!
[After finding Sev'Ral Timez private room backstage and avoiding the evil manager Mr. Bratzman, Mabel, Grenda and Candy finally meet their idols - locked in a cage.]
DCDeep Chris
Ohh, WHO goes there? Prepare to be danced at.
CGCreggy G
Step off Deep Chris. She's a lady. Don't disrespect her bro. Don't disrespect.
DCDeep Chris
MY bad.
DCDeep Chris
Chubby Z let's calm this boo by posin' for her, poster-style.
Whoo! Trying hard not to let my brain explode. I've always wanted to meet you guys, But what was the deal with that scary chubb-chubb man?
DCDeep Chris
Mr. Bratzman's our producer, Yo.
CGCreggy G
He genetically engineered us to be the perfect boy band, G.
CZChubby Z
But he keeps us in cages. That junk is straight brutal girl.
That is straight brutal Chubby Z.
CGCreggy G
Our one dream is to escape into the REAL world - for real. Yo, I heard about these things called trees. I don't know what they are, but I wanna kiss one.
GCGreggy C
But we can't disobey Mr. Bratzman. He says he loves us.
If he loved you, he'd set you free.
CGCreggy G
True dat, true dat.
CZChubby Z
That's a valid perspective.
[Mabel uses a hairpin to unlock the boyz cage,]
Let's go right now. Me and my friends can help you escape.
We're Masters of STEALTH!
CZChubby Z
Yo, You'd really do that for us beef?
You can count on me. I'm sorry, did you just call me beef?
All right, it took all day, but I converted it to a record. And now we can slow it down to see if the mind-control message theory is correct. Prepare to have your mind blown.
Spit-take, here I come. [sips Pitt Cola]
[Dipper plays and slows down the record, with a tapeman ready to record]
Hmm... that's not spit worthy. What gives?
What? Is that it? [fiddles with the speed] Ugh, This was so stupid! Course there's no hidden mind-control messages. Mabel was right. Wendy just likes the song. She just likes Robbie.
[entering with Robbie] Hey, Dip. Forgot my keys.
What's up, junior? What are you doing? Trying to come up with an equation to make girls like you? [laughs]
Ready to go to Lookout Point?
Heh, am I. [leaving with her] Later, dorks. Catch ya on the rewind. [chuckles] I made that up.
I'll rewind your FACE!
Wait a minute. Stan, rewind!
[He manually turns the record backwards, and it plays "You are now under my control! Your mind is mine!"]
[spits soda into Dipper's face] Holy mackerel! Now there's your spit-take!
Ha ha! I knew it! It's mind control after all! Oh no! I've got to save Wendy!
Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face! Let's roll!
[after Wendy breaks up with him] Oh, man.
Look, if it makes you feel better, the apocalypse is coming soon. Bury your gold. You've been buying gold, right?
Women. They're the real mystery, Dip. You ruin their date, drive their hippie boyfriend's van into a ravine, and somehow you're the "bad guy".
No, it's my fault, I shouldn't have meddled in Wendy's personal life. She probably hates me now.
Ah, chin up, kid. You were tryin' to do the right thing even though you destroyed a relationship and part of my car.
You think she'll ever forgive me?
Ah, I bet she will. And until then, you can always go bowling with me.
Thanks, Grunkle Stan.
Don't mention it, kid. [gnawing is heard from outside] Wait a second... is something rooting through our trash? [cut to a Sev'ral Times member rooting through the trash can; Stan drives him away with a broom] Hey, hey! GET OUTTA HERE! Darn beautiful men. Always eating out of my trash. Wait, what?
[From the "Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle" commercial.]
BRBobby Renzobbi
I know what you're thinkin': does it work for pigs? Haha, yeah, it does work for pigs, stupid! Feel your pig's heartbeat next to yours! IT WORKS FOR PIGS!
[Waddles chews on Stan's pant leg.]
Go, go. Chew that pant leg.
[Stan tears his pant leg free.]
All right, that tears it. Outside, now.
Grunkle Stan, no. You can't put Waddles outside. There's predators. And barbecuers.
That's just the natural order. It's not my fault your pig's potentially delicious.
He should be inside like a person.
People don't roll around in their own filth - except for Soos.
And we're the lesser for it.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Gravity Falls pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.