Old Man McGucket quotes from Gravity Falls

McGucket

Lately I been a-tinkerizin' with a voice-alterin' tonic, on account of my HORRIFYIN' VOICE!

McGucket

You can run, but I'll still be in your NIGHTMARES!

My name is Fiddleford Hadron McGucket. For the past year, I have been working as an assistant for a visiting researcher. He has been cataloging his findings about Gravity Falls in a series of journals. I helped him build a machine which he believed had the potential to benefit all mankind, but something went wrong. I decided to quit the project. But I lie awake at night, haunted by the thoughts of what I've done. I believe I have invented a machine that can permanently erase these memories from my mind. [He holds up the memory erasing ray.] Test subject One: Fiddleford. [He shoots it. The screen goes to static and comes back on] It worked! I can't recall a thing. [Static] I call it the Society of the Blind Eye. We will help those who want to forget by erasing their bad memories! [Static, McGucket is more disheveled] Today, I came across a colony of little men, very disturbing. I would like to forget seeing this. [Static. McGucket's lab is a mess and his arm is in a cast.] I accidentally hit another car in town today. I feel terri-bibble! Terrible. I've been forgetting words lately. I wonder if there are any negative side effects... [static. McGucket has a beard and is filming from a motel.] I saw something in the lake, something big! [Rips his hair out, static.] My hair's been a-fallin' out, so I got this hat from a scarecrow. Hey, are my pants on backwards? [static. McGucket is wild-eyed and filming from the junkyard. Maniacal giggling and speaking gibberish:] Yroo Xrksvi! Girzmtov! [which is Abtash for:] Bill Cipher! Triangle! [The tape ends as McGucket forms a triangle around his right eye]

[in McGucket's body] Cool, I'm Santa Claus.

McGucket

[in Candy's body] Whoo-ee! [laughs] I've regained my innocence!

Dipper

[in Waddles' body] Well, I guess I'm a pig now. So, that's a thing.

Soos

[in Grenda's body] This body's not that different from my old one.

Soos

Question: does it have any gun-swords? I watch a lot of anime and, trust me, you're going to want some gun-swords.

McGucket

What's an anime?

Soos

We have much to discuss.

Stan

Discuss nothing. These scribbles are a bunch of cockamamie balderdash. Excuse my French.

Je ne sais quoi sacrebleu au revoir. [Subtitles: I don't believe that was French.]