Serena van der Woodsen quotes from Gossip Girl

Blair

Chuck texted me, he's waiting for me on the roof.

Serena

On the roof?

Blair

Well this way if he doesn't say it back I can just jump.

Serena

No, don't do it B. You don't want your obit to say you died in Brooklyn.

Serena

We broke up, remember?

Aaron

How did we break up if we're not going out?

Aaron

Do you want to get dressed?

Serena

Nope.

Serena

Plenty of women have been both lover and muse to famous artists. Like Picasso.

Blair

Serena, a guy start's out in his blue period and everything's great. But it's only a matter of time until he's all into cubism and it's some other girl's eye coming out of her forehead.

Serena

Okay, I'm going to go.

Blair

Wait, what about the gnome? I have to take him down!

Blair

He's totally unsuitable.

Serena

Who?

Blair

Cyrus. He's five feet tall. He has a catchphrase. And he's a hugger. I was expecting Cary Grant and I got Danny DeVito!

Blair

Serena, I called you like 10 times last night! Where have you been?

Serena

I went to the dentist at lunch, and yesterday, I met Aaron in Times Square. B, it was the most romantic thing...

Blair

Who cares about plaque or pretentious artists when your best friend is having a meltdown!

Serena

You can't get the prize if you don't go deep.

Blair

There are so many things wrong with that sentence.

Blair

Remember, Serena doesn't share!

Serena

Remember, Blair should learn to.

Blair

A woman needs to be with a man who thinks of only her. Anything else is a non-starter. Tell him how you feel. DOROTA! More flour.

Serena

Are you baking already?

Serena

Everything you've done, spreading rumors about who I've had sex with, what alley I puked in or telling Dean Barrowby that I killed Pete Fairman, I forgave everything all because I thought one day you'd grow up. But putting up a Gossip Girl blast about Yale and the press release ...

Blair

Serena, I didn't put out the blast.

Serena

At least have the dignity not to lie to my face.

Blair

But I'm not lying.

Serena

Only two people knew about it, you and Dan. And Dan would never do something like that. I always want to believe the best in you, Blair, but the bottom line is, betrayal's in your nature.

Serena

When this family was just me and Eric, if things got out of control it was a pretty safe bet that it was my fault.

Eric

That's true!

Serena

But as this family grows, so does the pool of suspects. This is not my mess. [leaves]

Serena

Mom, I admit I made a few phone calls. If you want to punish someone for the passed hors d'oeuvres, point the finger here. Guilty as charged. But as far as all the people...

Lily

Oh, and you expect me to believe that Jenny was behind this? After she had me cancel the best caterer in town because she wanted clue and a crock-pot?

Eric

Mum, you could at least make an attempt to mask your distaste.

Serena

It doesn't make sense!

Blair

Feelings never do. They get you all confused. Then they drive you around for hours before they drop you right back where you started.

Blair

Unfortunately for him, the only way your plan is going to work is by some act of God.

Georgina

[Enters through the door as heavenly music starts] Wow, look at that. I'm so glad that everybody's here.

Dan

Alright, we need to get this crazy girl out of here.

Serena

Chuck, what is she doing here?

Blair

Are you trying to have me killed?! Bass?!

Chuck

She's fine!

Nate

Shh! Shut up!

Blair

Oh, my God. I am going to scream at somebody right now.

Chuck

Calm down. She has been fine the whole cab ride home.

Serena

Is this how you found out about the night at Butter? You bring Georgina here?!

Georgina

[Answers the phone] Hey, does anyone know a guy named Gabriel?

Chuck

You look like you could use a cocktail.

Blair

You're too late. [Chuck laughs] Wow.

Chuck

What?

Blair

That's the first true laugh I've gotten from you in a while.

Chuck

Listen, Blair-

Blair

No, me first. Nate's waiting for me to give him an answer.

Chuck

I heard.

Blair

But you wanna know what's stopping me? I can't answer his question while I'm waiting for you to answer mine. The one I asked you forever ago. What are we, Chuck?

Chuck

Blair...

Blair

Last fall you said we couldn't be together, and I believed you. But every time I try to move on, you're right there. Acting like-

Chuck

Acting like what?

Blair

Like...maybe you want just want me to be as unhappy as you are.

Chuck

I would never wish that on anyone. I want you to be happy.

Blair

Then looks down deep, into the soul I know you have. Tell me if what you feel for me is real or if it's just a game. If it's real, we'll figure it out, all of us. But if it's not, then please Chuck, just let me go. [Wipes away a tear]

Chuck

[Looks at Blair and considers this as Serena walks in the door and overhears] It's just a game. I hate to loose. You're free to go.

Blair

[Teary-eyed] Thank you! [Leaves]

Serena

[Goes up to Chuck] Chuck why did you just do that?

Chuck

Because I love her, and I can't make her happy