Serena van der Woodsen quotes from Gossip Girl

Dan

You're being pretty open-minded about this whole Georgina thing.

Serena

Well, it's just that I've never been more pleasantly surprised than when I started dating Carter.

Dan

Dating? You're dating Carter Baizen now? Is Chuck not available?

Serena

What time is it?

Dan

Later than we ever wanted to be …but that would be morning.

Serena

Last night…

Dan

Don't even finish those words, unless… unless they end with ...was a mistake, I mean right?

Serena

Right, my thoughts exactly, I mean we… we're both in relationships.

Dan

Yeah, yeah it was totally meaningless.

Serena

I mean we… just fell sleep.

Dan

Yeah, after a entire bottle of wine, and a lot of taking...

Serena

...and one kiss.

Dan

Did that even happen? I'm not sure that even happened…

Nate

What your dad did was very wrong Serena…

Serena

That was not for you to decide.

Serena

That baby right there, he's gonna grow up to be smarter than the rest of them, that would make him feel like an outsider…

Dan

oh really? Well… You see that baby there? She's gonna grow up to have fabulous hair, and a great smile, but her daddy issues are gonna make it really hard for her to trust people.

Serena

you wanna take a walk?

Dan

yeah

Georgina

And this baby is gonna do somethings to make all the other babies hate her.

Blair

I really need my friend right now. I've been acting like I'm okay, but I'm not. They say it's a broken heart, but... I hurt in my whole body. I mean, what if I stay like this forever? What if I never get over Chuck?.

Serena

You will. You'll see.

Serena

I know more than anyone what it’s like to want to reinvent yourself. But just because people are mad at you doesn’t mean you should disappear. My mom is really worried about you.

Chuck

I’m sure she’ll come to celebrate my absence. As will all the people who’ve wished me dead since the day I was born.

Serena

I know things were bad in New York, but if you don’t come home you’ll lose the Empire, you’ll lose everything you ever cared about.

Chuck

I lost the only thing I cared about. They can have everything else.

I have proof that Serena Van der Woodsen is having an affair with her professor.

Miss Sharp, I am with friends. This is the one night of the year I can try to put everything else out of my mind and enjoy myself.

Blair

[Enters with Nate, Serena and Collin] Dean Reuther, may I please have a moment with you?

Of course you're involved with this Miss Waldorf, I told you and Miss Van der Woodsen to stay off my radar.

Dean Reuther I am not lying.

What's going on?

Nothing that concerns you professor, or concerns anyone for the moment.

Actually it does concern Collin, he was the one in the photos with Serena.

Is that why you resigned your position today?

While it's true that I resigned because of my involvement with a student, it's nobody's business who that student is. All that matters is that the responsibility is mine and I took it, by leaving my post.

That's somewhat admirable, Collin, and while usually it's the professor in the professor student relationship that takes propriety, if that student is under the suspicion of trading sex for grades in the past, I think we might need to examine the situation a little more closely.

Vanessa

Let me get my camera.

[Sticks out the flashdrive] Here, look as close as you like.

Blair

[Takes the flashdrive] Let me help you with that. [Drops it in her glass of champagne] Whoops. You didn't wanna look at those photos anyway because it wasn't Serena in them. It was me.

Serena

Blair, you don't have to do this.

Blair

Why would I jeopardize my college career by lying? [To the Dean] So, go ahead, fire Collin. Oh wait, he already quit. So let's just go in and enjoy some jeté. Allegro.

Chuck

[Comes up from behind Blair] If I could say something. I for one can fully corroborate Miss Waldorf's story. She was indeed having an affair with Professor Forrester. I know this because I keep tabs on everyone Blair sees and talks to, due to my insatiable jealousy. Though she did state something to the effect that he didn't quite satisfy her like I used to.

Blair

It's true.

Don't you see? They're all protecting each other.

Vanessa

This is what they always do.

[To Vanessa] I'm sorry. Who are you? [To Juliet] Miss Sharp, the reality is that with no proof I can't tell who is telling the truth.

Yeah, well there was proof! Until Blair drowned it.

Juliet, I don't like tattletales much more than I like young women who use their sexuality to further their academic careers. So if you will please excuse me, I'm going to try my best to to enjoy this performance. Which, hopefully, is a little more graceful than the one I've just seen. Good evening.

Serena

Now it's our turn.

Chuck

You're obsession with Serena has grown tiresome.

Blair

Just because you have no money and delusions of grandeur, does not make it okay for you to be a single white trash female.

Nate, this isn't me. You know that.

Nate

How would I ever believe anything you say again.

Blair

Well you can believe the part where she does her own hair.

Serena

You tried to destroy my friendship with Blair, my reputation, my academic career...

Chuck

You failed every time, and now it's time for you to go.

I'm trying to.

Nate

He's talking about Columbia.

Blair

You don't belong there anyway.

Chuck

If we catch you hanging around there again there will be consequences.

Blair

And we're really good at payback.

Spotted: One ugly duckling exiled. Let's hope she doesn't turn into a black swan.

Serena

We both know if you have feelings for someone, nothing else in the world matters.

Blair

That's not true. We're not servants to our emotions. We can control them, suppress them, stomp them out like bugs.

Serena

[Reading Dan's chapter on her] "Serena is nothing, she's a golden shell. give her love and she'll do anything you want."

Dan

Serena, I know you're upset-

Serena

"With daddy issues like these, it's not hard to push the right buttons and once you do, the most powerful girl on the upper East Side has no power at all." I would understand if you had written this in the spring. You were so mad at me then. Why would your write this now?

Dan

Why-why not now? It's no less true than it was then.

Serena

I'm confused. So, has everything that's happened since Cotillion been a lie? The Vespa? The bar? Did you ask someone to stop the elevator?

Dan

Vanya...I told him I was trying to win you back. But everything I've said...about how I feel is the truth.

Serena

That's not possible. That doesn't make sense. You couldn't say these things about me if you loved me. I invited you into my home, Dan, and my world. And then you just humiliate me.

Dan

That is the issue. "My world."

Serena

Oh come on! It's a figure of speech.

Dan

No, it has always been your world and you've never let me forget it. I've always been a visitor. The poor kid from Brooklyn who you've never seen as an equal to you.

Serena

Okay, so this is your payback. Do you feel better about riding the subway to school since you made a fool of me to everyone?

Blair

Are you okay?

Serena

I don't know. But you can gloat. You were right.

Blair

For the first time ever I'm sorry I was. Well, ninety percent of me is sorry. Ten percent of me is glad I was right.

Serena

Thanksgiving is ruined once again.

Blair

Are you kidding? What is Thanksgiving without a side of drama? And pie. Apple or pumpkin?

Serena

Both.