Glee Season 5 quotes

Rachel

I've kind of been going through hell the past month and I just needed something to snap out of it.

Let me hit you with the blunt instrument of reality, Puckerman. You're still you, a douchey playboy who's going to spend the rest of his life dealing with one mess after another as long as he lives. One of these days, you are going to knock someone up, and I feel bad for whoever has to have a child who shares your DNA.

Sue

[to Blaine] This is contraband and if I catch you with your hand up the butt of anything that isn't human, you're in a world of trouble.

Kitty

Looks like somebody's manstrating.

Kurt

Are we all set in there?

Santana

If by all set, do you mean did I light the candy cane scented candles on the toilet, then yes, we're all set.

Tina

This is the best Christmas present ever, besides curing cancer and peace on Earth, of course.

Sue

I hate you both.

Tina

You always get everything you want and I get nothing!

Santana

I need this job. I’m saving up to buy a noose to hang myself.

Kurt

You two in the same room and there are no stitches? That’s an improvement.

Santana

She will chew you up and spit you out like a Jewish Hillary Clinton.

Rachel

I was like some heroine from a lost Tennessee Williams play.

Blaine

Do you seriously have no idea who that is? Do none of you read the show choir blogs?

Best of luck, New Directions. We really can’t wait to see your set...and crush you like a bug.

Sam

I'm sorry we let him down.

Let who down? Finn?

Blaine

We just really wanted to win this one for him and for you.

Ryder

We had a plan that we were gonna call you up on stage and give you the trophy to keep.

Kitty

It's not right.

Jake

This is not how the story is supposed to end.

You're right. Oh, it would have burned Finn to have lost to those guys. All we would have heard for months was how the judges had robbed you or how you were so much better than them.

Burt

Yeah, but then he would have stood up, and he would have told you that even though most of you had never been in a show choir before this year. You still stood tall against the best of the best. And you know what, even though Finn didn't have the best voice of the best rhythm or the best throwing arm, he always brought out the best in himself and in others, and the great thing about him is he always managed to find a way to feel like he'd won.

I was really proud of you guys up there. Hearing those songs was so healing for me and who know I saw how much he meant to you. So win or lose, Finn lives in you guys.

Will

Okay guys, let's put this trophy where it belongs.

Artie

A 2nd Place showing is superior to when Finn decided to make out with Rachel on stage, and we ended up in 12th.

Becky

Principal Sue wants to see you Schuester.