Glee quotes

931 total quotes



All Seasons
 Season 1  



Artie: I want to be there to see my kid's first steps.
Sugar: I want to be there to see Sex & The City Part 3.
Mr. Schue: Wow.
Puck: I'm sort of embarrassed to admit it, but I really do want to graduate high school.
Finn: I'm going to petition the Army to change my dad's dishonorable discharge status to an honorable one.
Quinn: I'm looking forward to graduating from Yale at the top of my class.
Santana: I'm looking forward to the day when my grandmother loves me again.
Brittany: I want Lord Tubbington to kick his ecstasy addiction.
Blaine: I'm looking forward to marriage equality in all fifty states.
MIke: I'm looking forward to the first time I dance at Carnegie Hall.
Tina: I just want a song.
[Everyone laughs.]

Artie: It's about your song. It makes me want to kill myself.

Artie: It's called a ReWalk. Some guy in Israel invented it. I can't use it all the time but...check me out. (slowly takes a few steps then stops)
Quinn: Where did you get it?
(Flashback)

Artie: Some say Judy was high on pills and booze, but I say she was high on excitement and baby Jesus.

Artie: Stop picking on Kurt.
Karofsky: You mind? I'm changing.
Mike: We're serious. [slams locker closed] This is a warning.
Karofsky: Oh, yeah?
Artie: From now on you're gonna leave him alone.
Karofsky: Look, if he wants to be a homo, that's up to him. Don't rub it in my face.
Artie: We're not asking you.
Mike: Yeah, we're done talking about this. It ends now. Just back off, alright?
Karofsky: Why don't you back off? [pushes Mike into Artie]

Artie: The kid's never late, he runs like an expensive Swiss watch reproduced cheaply in China.

Artie: They can take our Journey and our Dreamgirls, but pilfering my Michael? [shakes his head] Mmm mmm that's another level. Not ok.

Artie: We begin in the Swiss Alps, in the village of Gustad, in the perfectly appointed living room of Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson's chic, swank chalet. The tree, towering and opulent; the fireplace draped in garlands; the stockings bejeweled. Kurt and Blaine, the perfect hosts, have invited their friends to drop in for an evening of Noël Coward-esque, happy, cheer-filled songs!
Rachel: Are you telling me I'm not invited to Kurt and Blaine's for Christmas?
Artie: Not unless you pick a happier song. The evening's festivities conclude with Rory, dressed as the Christmas elf, Itchy, reciting Frosty the Snowman. Start with fun and end with fun. That's how you do it, kids.

Artie: We didn't even place.

Artie: When you're in a chair, it's hard to�� ever feel like you've grown up. Everyone's always doing stuff for you. They get freaked out about saying the wrong thing. So, they coddle you. Sometimes, it's hard to ever picture a life of being totally self-sufficient. But directing you guys�� the way you trusted me, the way you looked at me, and listened to me. It's the first time in my life that I've ever felt like a grown man. It's the greatest gift you could give a guy, so�� so thank you guys. For the flowers and for everything.

Azimio: [to Finn] How many times do we got to go through this? You being a jock and being in this glee club does not make you versatile; it makes you bisexual.

Azimio: Welcome to Loserville! Population: you!

Azimo: Ho, ho, ho losers! HA HA!
Flashback ends

Barista: What can I get you?
Blaine: A Medium Drip, and a Grande Non-Fat Mocha for this guy, and maybe I can get him to split one of the Cupid cookies.
Kurt: You know my coffee order?
Blaine: Of course I do.
Barista: That'll be $8.40.
[Kurt and Blaine both start to pull out their wallets]

Becky: [voiceover in a British accent] I, Becky Faye Jackson, am the hottest bitch at McKinley high school. I'm not only co-captain of the Cheerios, I'm president of the Perfect Attendance Club, and I won a participation award in rhythmic gymnastics. You may be wondering why I sound like the queen of England. It's simple: in my mind, I can sound like whomever I want. So lay off, haters. Okay, let's get reals. I could easily snag any dude east of the Mississippi, but I'm extremely picky. [sees Rory] For instance, Rory grins too much. He looks like an insane person. [sees Puck] Is that a mohawk, Puckerman, or did someone glue a squirrel to your head? [sees Mike] No Chang-do. I'm no rice queen.