Sue Sylvester quotes from Glee

Will

Wait, wait, so you're not firing us?

Sue

Not if you win a national championship, I'm not. However, if you do fail to win at nationals, I will fire you and you'll be forced to build creepy relationships with teenagers on your own time.

Sue

I bet you're hoping for a last-minute reprieve and then I'll say something about how you plucky band of pinhead minstrels overcame so much to get where they did & how 2nd place is actually an achievement.

Will

I can't say I wasn't secretly hoping you would consider it.

Sue

Well, I have considered it. More than you know. But I just can't. In the words of Ex-Principal Figgins: "My hands are tied". I'm the principal now William & my job is concerned with the health of the entire school, not just the fiefdoms that I like. And I do like you, William. That being said, the Cheerios stay because they won. So does the debate team, the football team, the girls soccer team, & mock U.N. However, diving, academic decathlon, actual decathlon, & yes, the glee club need to go.

Will

Should I fight? Should I make a speech about the arts or how much this club means to me personally?

Sue

Save that for your wife. It would probably turn her on. That won't make any difference here.

Will

So this is really it. What's gonna happen to the choir room?

Sue

It's prime real estate. They'll probably turn it into 2 classrooms. And since we won't be needing the band anymore to play everything from obscure Broadway to Queen at a moment's notice, probably sell off their equipment & buy some computers. Butt-Chinn up, Schuester. Look where you were 4 years ago when you started this thing. You've got a national championship trophy from last year in that case, & a bunch of other loser trophies standing with it. You & your team have done phenomenally well, & you did it with the world's greatest nemesis playing her best game against you. You didn't lose, William. Game's just over.

Kurt

[while with Sue Sylvester in her office] I met someone online, his name is Walter.

Sue

[looking horrified] Oh, Porcelain. No-no-no-no. You will never come out of this alive. This person is obviously a cannibal. I mean, look at you. You're exceptionally well marbled.'

Sue

[continuing] If I was on a desert island with everybody I knew, I would absolutely eat you first. It doesn't even have to be a deserted island. There could be any number of casual dining establishments, and I would still opt to eat you. A mouth-watering delicious corn-fed Porcelain rump roast.

Kurt

Okay, I'm leaving.

Will

I heard a rumor that you are making retirement plans.

Sue

Damn it, Becky. She tweeted it, didn’t she?

Kurt

I do not want to get back together with Blaine.

Sue

Listen to you. That’s not the porcelain I know.

Sue

Hello, Klaine.

Blaine

Stop calling us that!

Kurt

We should all boycott.

Sue

Oh, no, no, no, Porcelain. No, this is happening. Each team will perform at this invitational. Even if one show choir's co-director is kidnapped and held against his will, causing him to mess the performance.

Sue

Hey! Let's move this thing along, huh? These rotten tomatoes are getting restless.

Rachel

Great.

Will

Inside, you're a really good person. I appreciate what you're doing for these kids. I won't forget it.

Sue

I'm seriously gonna puke in your mouth.