Santana Lopez quotes from Glee

Santana

You know, honestly I wish I could, but somebody's gotta look out for Brittany. I mean, that special place where she lives, yeah it's beautiful, but someone's gotta help her cross the street. I'd never just leave her.

Mercedes

Get her to come with you.

Santana

Britt, I want to talk about, you know, that thing we never talk about.

Brittany

That Sour Patch Kids are gummy bears that turn into drugs?

Santana

Are we dating or what?

Brittany

Wait, isn't this a date? Aren't you were paying. I ordered shrimp! Wasn't it last week we were taking a bath together-wasn't that a date? Are you crying?

Santana

It's just that I'm really happy.

Brittany

Well, I told you last year that if I was single and you were single, we would mingle. And if there's any controversy that interferes with my presidential campaign, then I'll use one of my leprechaun wishes. To win the election.

Santana

Y-you think that Great Gazoo kid is a leprechaun?

Santana

Yeah, I do. I'm thinking about joining Shelby's new show choir. If I did, would you join me? I'm sick of being backup to Rachel Berry. I want to shine and be seen as the star I am. But I won't join without you.

Brittany

I don't want to known as a quitter. Doesn't my presidential campaign need continuity? Can't I think about it for like a day?

Santana

Yeah, totally. I understand. Just think about it. But in the meantime, I do have one more wish.

Brittany

Mm hm.

Santana

I wish you'd hold my hand.

Brittany

[smiles and holds Santana's hand]

Santana

[smiles but then looks around] But, like, under a napkin. [puts a napkin over her and Brittany's hands]

Sugar

Awesome! More back up for me.

Santana

Ok, you know what? I did not just leave one diva-driven glee club to join another, so let me write you a reality check richy bitch - I've seen what you can do, and what you can do is stand in the back, sway, and sing very, very quietly.

Sugar

I, erm…I just - wanted to on the winning team for once?

Mercedes

Then turn down the ‘tude and you will be.

Santana

[about anti-prom] Ok how is everyone 'welcome' when this is clearly just a party for you and the two gay winklevii twins?

Rachel

Actually Santana, we've invited most of McKinley's underclassmen.

Rachel

I wanted to invite you to our anti-prom party.

Becky

Who's going?

Rachel

Me, Kurt...

Becky

Boring, who else?

Rachel

Well, we just came up with the idea.

Becky

I'll think about it

I'm in

Artie

But what about your tradition of spiking coach Sylvester's punch bowl? I almost lost my teeth for it last time.

It's impossible. Plus it's a bummer always failing--at everything.

Santana

Can we just talk about what this really is? Rachel Berry isn't getting her way, so she's punishing the rest of us.

Rachel

Santana, that's not the case at all.

Santana

Stop acting like you're fine and start dealing with your crap. Look, you choked at your big audition. I get it. I'm sorry, but it happens. And I understand that you are pissed off at the universe, but imploding on one of the last nights that we have to spend together because, basically, your just not in the mood to dance is maybe the pettiest thing you have ever done. So have fun at your "I'm a victim" party, acting like you're not some selfish, self-centered, lame-ass wannabe diva from hell, because me, I'm going to go to my senior prom with my girlfriend and my friends.