Hijikata quotes from Gin Tama

Oi, wait a second! Doesn't it seem like your back's getting heavier?

Hijikata

I don't care! I don't care anymore!

Just check it! I'm feeling something heavy!

Hijikata

Shut up! Why don't you go and check it?

You, you gotta help me look! It ain't gonna kill you!

Hijikata

Hold on! How 'bout this? I'll give a sign, and we turn at the same time!

You'd better look too! No treason! You'd better look! [together with Hijikata] One, two... [they skid to a stop and turn around. The woman in the red kimono is still behind them.] G... good evening...

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[outside the mosquitoes are buzzing loudly.]

GHGintoki and Hijikata

[the former emerges from inside a bush, the latter from the pond in the garden.] Cut that damned buzzing!!! [they then notice each other]

Are you bastard still alive?

Hijikata

You're a flexible cockroach.

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[a rustle in a bush scares Gintoki into jumping in the pond where Hijikata is. A frog comes out of it as they poke their heads out of the water.]

Well, now that we're in the water, we should think of a counterattack.

Hijikata

Don't get cocky. I can hear the shiver in your voice. Let me handle this. A chicken like you should crawl back home and rest.

I think you're the coward! I'm sure you just jumped into the pond 'cause your pants were wet!

[a mosquito buzzes by as they argue.]

Hijikata

Why you... You want me to feed you to the ghosts? [the buzz's sound gets louder] I haven't settled the score with you yet! And I see you'll have to compensate me with interest!

Eh? Did I borrow anything from you? [Hijikata getts angrier as the buzzing gets louder] Doesn't matter, I'll give it to you. Besides, I've already bought a new game machine-- [turns to the source of the buzz, together with Hijikata] SHUT UP ALREADY!!! [they see it is the woman in the red kimono, who is flying with mosquito wings, and get scared]

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[the woman in the red kimono attacks Gintoki and Hijikata from the air.]

Hijikata

H-h-h-hey! It-it-it's got wings! It's-it's flying!

Wh-wh-wh-wh-what's with y-y-y-you? D-d-don't tell me y-y-you're s-s-s-scared of th-th-that!

Hijikata

Do-do-do-don't be stupid! Who-who-who do you think I-I-I-I-I am, you i-i-idiot?

O-okay then. Th-then, you can fight her, while I'll... go do that thing... [starts to leave, but Hijikata stops him.]

Hijikata

Where are you going? What's "that thing"? You're running away?! Trying to fool me! Asshole!

Why'd I do that? I'll just go look for a bazooka to hit her with!

Hijikata

And where would you get a bazooka?

Everybody has a bazooka in their hearts!

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[after defeating the woman in the red kimono.]

Hijikata

Running away from a battle is a desrespect for bushido. You'd better start again and relearn how to be a samurai. [Gintoki raises the woman in the red kimono over his head and throws her at Hijikata.] What the hell do you think you're doing, bastard?!

[spits] You're still a hundred years behind to give me lessons about how to be a samurai.

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[after the woman in the red kimono is revealed to be a mosquito hybrid alien.]

Aw, geez. I don't care if it's a ghost or a mosquito, she sure caused a lot of trouble.

Hijikata

It was you who caused me trouble. I said I wouldn't pay for it, so get the hell out.

Hey, did you forget it was my move that finished all of this?

Hijikata

What are you talking about? It was my move before yours that clinched it. Even if you weren't around, I'd be fine.

Pretty tough talk coming from someone who was afraid of death. It would be quite a joke if the one they call the "Vice-Commander from Hell" was afraid of ghosts.

Hijikata

I wasn't scared, just ghost-hunting. Don't get me wrong. You, on the other hand, got scared to near death.

I was just pulling your leg. Actually, I have fun with that sort of thing. If I'm ever bored, how 'bout we have fun again?

[Kagura opens the door behind them.]

Kagura

Gin-chan, it's time to go... Huh? [the deck where Gintoki and Hijikata were sitting is empty now. She looks down and sees they are both hiding beneath the deck.] What are you guys doing?

GHGintoki and Hijikata

Nothing. I just lost my contacts.

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[A piece of flying debris from the explosion hits Hijikata on the head and he starts bleeding]

[to the crowd] It's dangerous, so please stand back. You'll end up like this person. He puts on a poker face, but it really really hurts. It's embarassing.

Hijikata

This has really turned into something, hasn't it?

Your face is really turning into something too, Hijikata-san.

Hijikata

Didn't Yamazaki already die by now?

Aren't you going to die, too?

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Vice-captain!

Hijikata

Huh?

Some information was just reported. It seems both Yamazaki and the Commander are inside.

Hijikata

What are you saying? Oi, oi, I thought that if it was only Yamazaki inside, I could leave him, but if Kondo-san's there too, we can't do that.

Hijikata-san. I forgot my flute at the headquarters, so I'm gonna go back and get it real quick.

Hijikata

Right, be sure not to come back again. Damn, I'm sick of you guys, it's enough! I'll go alone, so wait there, you bastards.

Hey! Look at that! Something has come out!

What's that?!

It's a cannon! A big ass cannon has come out!

I-Is that the secret weapon they were working on?!

Hijikata

Sougo, I forgot the protractor at the headquarters, so I'm gonna go back and get it real quick.

Hijikata-san, it's ok. If you want a protractor, I have one right here.

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[At a soba restaurant, Mitsuba fills her bowl of soba with red pepper]

Ah, wait, Mitsuba-dono! You shouldn't put so much red pepper! How many times do I have to tell you that it's bad for you?!

MMitsuba

But it tastes so much better!

That's not the point! It's definitely bad for your health! It's completely red! Really, there's something wrong with the younger generation's sense of taste. Don't you agree, Toushi?

[Hijikata fills his bowl of soba with mayonnaise.]

TOUSHI!! What are you doing?! What's that?! What are you eating?!

Hijikata

This is a flavor IT revolution.

What are you saying?! What's that?! Who are you mimicking?!

Hey, wait! Mitsuba-dono, don't eat that!

MMitsuba

I want to bring down public health insurance with what I eat!