EmilyIt's like a canoe.
Emily
Life. You're just paddling along in a canoe.
Mother have you been in a canoe? I just can't picture you in a canoe.
Emily
Lorelai, your father and I have been paddling a canoe together for years, only now, he's dropped it. He just dropped it. Not only that but now the canoe is going in circles. Without your father there I'm paddling and the canoe is going in circles, and the harder I paddle the faster the canoe spins and it's hard work and I'm getting tired.
Emily
You are in a kayak. You know how to do all of this.
How does that put me in a kayak?
Emily
Kayaks have paddles on both ends. You steer it by yourself.
Emily
And he's getting to be a serious pain in the "you know what".
Emily
Would it give you that much pleasure to hear me say "ass"?
Well, I wasn't sure but, yes.
[Richard enters office in a blue tracksuit.]
Emily... Oh, hi, Lorelai.
Hi Dad. Nice threads. You having lunch with Tony Soprano?
[Lorelai puts the car window down a bit]
Emily
Lorelai, What are you doing?
[Window starts going up]
Emily
It's too cold to have the window down.
Mom, just let me have it down.
[Window goes down again.]
Emily
Lorelai, stop playing with the window.
[Window starts going up]
I'm not playing with it, I just want it down and you're making it go...are you kidding me? Mother, I'm putting it...I'm putting it...Uh! Mom!
[Emily locks the window closed]
Emily
It's called a child lock, appropriately enough.
Emily
No, I just wanted to walk you to your room, seeing that this isn't the safest neighborhood.
Mom. Now I feel like I should walk you back to the car. And then you're gonna feel like you should walk me back. And we're going to be stuck in a terrible loop and neither of us has the shoes for that.
Oh Grandma, you should stay. We're going to get junk food from the vending machine. Watch a movie. C'mon, don't you like Dots?
Emily
Seriously Rory, I can't stay.
Too late, I'm already getting you a Little Debbie.
Mom, why do you want to loan me money?
Emily
All it would require is for the three of us to sit down and hash out the details. Of course, we'd want to get together with you from time to time to see how things are progressing, but we wouldn't become pests about it.
Mom, why don't we just talk about it Friday night at dinner?
Emily
Oh...[pause] So, our Friday night dinners will continue, then?
Well, we might as well. I've kind of gotten used to it.
Emily
All right. That sounds fine. But don't be late, and don't wear jeans.
Mom, when have I ever worn jeans to dinner?
Emily
Well, I don't know. It very well could have been Rory who enforced your dress code. I'm just saying that I don't think jeans are appropriate.
All right. Spandex and a tube top it is.
May I have your attention, please? I'd like to welcome you all to this Bon Voyage in honor of one of Stars Hollow's favorite daughter, Miss Rory Gilmore! [gestures to her and everyone applauds and cheers] I've known Rory as have most of you....
Emily
Have you given any more thought to my spa idea?
Oh, yeah. I don't think I'm interested, though.
...pregnant with pride and anticipation. Ready to birth you from our collective womb, fully gestated, and nourished, and so we breathe deep and with these last painful contractions, we push you out into the world, spank your bottom, and wipe the amniotic fluid from your eyes, as you issue your first independent breath.
Emily
Is this speech making you a little queasy?
Rory, would you like to say a few words?
[coming up to the front] Thank you, Taylor, for that very unique tribute. Um...I love this place. I just loved growing up here. I love all of you, and thank you so much for doing all this. It's amazing, it's just...it's so...oh, gosh, I'm on the verge of gushing, so I'm just going to stop myself. I don't want to gush, except for one more thing. To my mom, who...is just everything to me, and everything I am, and who I'm going to miss so much.
[Lorelai, watching from background, smiles and nods, with tears in her eyes]
[about the party] I just can't believe they did this for her.
I don't think that this is all for Rory. I think this party is a testament to you, Lorelai, and the home you've created here. I regret that you needed to--
Emily
Richard--
All right, now, let me finish, Emily. I regret it...and recent experiences have taught us--
Emily
Oh, please don't be one of those "I had a heart attack, and now I'm going to express my every thought" types!
Not every thought, Emily. Just this one. [to Lorelai] It takes a...a remarkable person...to inspire all this.
Gilmore Girls · 747 quotes
