Angie Lopez quotes from George Lopez

Angie

George, you know what my favorite part of the play was? When you walked up to the teacher afterwards and demanded your tax dollars back.

Angie

George, It's only 4 blocks!

Angie

Can a day go by when you don't say that?

Angie

I don't know what's wrong with you, but you've been avoiding me all day. Now get upstairs! We're doing this, Alice!

Angie

The last thing he touches before he dies?

Carmen

Here are the hot dogs.

George

What are you doing?

Carmen

Ow, my underarms burn. Your grandpa's old razor was so dull, it took me forever!

George

Didn't you change the blade?

Carmen

No. Was I supposed to?

George

Sweetheart, that was the blade we used to shave Grandpa right before we put him in the coffin.

Carmen

Oh, my God!

Angie

Carmen! That's why you don't lie to people.

George

It wasn't a lie.

George

Angie, do I look like a stupid man?

Angie

What?

George

Do I look like an idiot? Do I look like a moron? Do I look like a buffoon?

Angie

Hey, no-one's forcing you to go to SuperCuts.

Angie

Texas Chainsaw Massacre? Are you insane?

George

Not compared to them. Angie, this is how kids learn, they watch scary stuff, they'll get nightmares, they'll learn to be careful!

Angie

Where is the water and shelter for this animal?

It's in my vacation box at the beach.

Angie

But they're mean to Toby and Toby is your best friend.

Carmen

But she won't be there!

George

Oh, see that only makes sense because you're using teenager logic. It's the same kind of logic that gets your kind killed in horror films.

Angie

Look, honey, I know what you're going through. There was a time when I had to choose between the popular crowd and a sweet pudgy kid eating all by himself.

George

Who was that?

Angie

You don't know him.

George

By the way, you didn't pick the pudgy kid. Pudgy kid picked you.

Mr. and Mrs. Lopez, thank you for coming down. Let me start by saying Max is a joy to have in class.

Angie

He's a joy at home.

George

You know, and he likes you too. He draws all his favorite people in hell.

Good! Look, Max is having real problems with his reading. Have you seen his centipede?

George

...I don't know what that's gotta do with reading, but in our house we call that a "weenus."

Angie

You know, kids need to be kept busy, or sooner or later they get into trouble. There's a report out that says that most underage sex, drinking, and hooliganism happens between 3:00 and 6:00 PM.

George

Hooliganism? How old is that report?

Angie

Just write the check and we can go to the PTA meeting tonight.

George

Alright. I don't want anyone making fun of Max. But this has gotten way out of hand. Not to mention, 500 bucks down the drain. That's a month of groceries. Couple months of gas, a new set of tires. 500 items from the 99 Cents store.

Angie

Sign it.

George

...25 anniversary gifts.

Angie

Yep.

Carmen

Run, Adam!

Angie

You better run, moron!

George

I gotta tell the kids I found their grandpa. Carmen, Max, get down here!

Angie

You know you have to explain about his partner, Charles, too?

George

Oh. Take your time, kids.

Carmen

What's up?

George

I got some great news and some interesting news. I think I found your grandpa.

Max

Really?

George

I might have even found you two grandpas!