Stephanie Tanner quotes from Full House

[to Stephanie] May I have that cupcake, please?

Stephanie

No, you may not.

But I was polite, and I said please.

Stephanie

I was polite, too. I said, "no, you may not."

[takes off her badge] Guess what? Politeness Week is over! [grabs Stephanie's cupcake and runs off]

Stephanie

How rude! [chases after Michelle]

Stephanie

The Making of a Wedding, the saga continues. The groom is now 25 minutes late, and here's the man who let him jump out of a plane on his wedding day, Joey Gladstone. Joey, how do you feel right now?

Joey

Sad, hurt, angry, bitter, scared, used, and I'm pretty hungry. I forgot to eat breakfast.

Stephanie

Poor Joey, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And here's Becky with her loving family. Any words for Uncle Jesse?

Rebecca

Darling, I just hope you're alright. But if you are alright, I'll kill you.

Danny

Now, what are we gonna call that pitch of yours?

Rusty

The Tanner Twister. This Saturday, we're gonna kill the Cubs!

Stephanie

Yeah! We're gonna destroy 'em! We're gonna cream 'em! We are going to make the Cubs eat dust! I love being a jock.

Stephanie, would you like to introduce us to your guest?

Stephanie

Uh, not really.

I'm her sister, Michelle.

Hi. I'm Mr. Lowry.

(to Stephanie) You were right. He is a major babe!

D.J.

I'll babysit my new cousins anytime, except for Friday and Saturday nights.

Stephanie

And I'll take Friday and Saturday, until I start dating.

I'll help, too, but no diapers. They make me apprehensive.

[to Stephanie and Michelle] Now, why in the world would Kimmy Gibbler tell you you're the 1,000,000th customer? We've only been open a week.

Stephanie

Well, sir, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but you've hired a nutcase.

D.J.

Okay, we're going to the movies. Put on your coats and act adorable.

I cannot leave this house. Dad said.

D.J.

Well, Dad's not here. I'm in charge. That makes me Dad.

Stephanie

Until the real Dad comes back and makes you grounded.

Stephanie

Oh, no! I got mustard all over D.J.'s sweater!

She's gonna have a cow.

Stephanie

Tell me something I don't know.

Yesterday, I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet.

D.J.

You know what I just realized? I am sitting here talking to my little sister about boys and relationships. Steph, you're really growing up.

Stephanie

I must be, because ever since I turned 10, life got so complicated.

Stephanie, I'm sorry. I gotta go home for dinner.

Stephanie

Hey, if you quit, you forfeit, Chu-meister. Dad, next word, please.

Danny

This is gonna be the last word. "Sarsaparilla".

Stephanie

Sarsaparilla. S-A-S-P-A-R-I-L-L-A. Sarsaparilla.

Danny

I'm sorry, Steph.

Stephanie

Why?

Because it's: Sarsaparilla. S-A-R-S-A-P-A-R-I-L-L-A. Sarsaparilla.

Danny

(looks it up) Man, that's right. You really are the human dictionary.

Stephanie

Now, there's a silent "R"? I hate this language!

Joey

Ginger, get back here!

Danny

Joey, get back here! [sees the table filled with food] Girls, what are you doing?

Stephanie

Trying to keep the curse from falling on this house.

Danny

Well, keep trying. It's not working.

Stephanie

Kimmy, you're so dumb you don't even know how dumb you are.

Kimmy

You're the one who's dumb. Capital D-U-M!

D.J.

Kimmy, there's a "B".

Kimmy

Where?!

Rebecca

Oh, Steph, you can't hang out in here. Uncle Jesse's gonna get his first dance lesson.

Stephanie

I know. I got a front row seat.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to flight 40, we should be arriving at our destination... Auckland, New Zealand, in 14 hours.

Stephanie

Auckland, New Zealand?

14 hours?

Aaah!!

D.J.

Stephanie, your ears are infected.

Stephanie

Michelle. Ow. You promised you wouldn't tell.

I promise I wouldn't tell Dad. Does this look like Dad?

D.J.

Stephanie, did you pierce them at the mall after Dad told you no?

Stephanie

Of course not. I'm not that stupid.

She let Kimmy do it.

D.J.

What?! You let Kimmy punch a hole in your body? Why don't you just fall into a rusty nail? Stephanie, you have to tell Dad. He needs to take you to a doctor.

Stephanie

Oh no!

That's okay. If you don't yell, you get a lollipop. If you yell a lot, you get two.