Danny Tanner quotes from Full House

D.J.

You see? You don't even knock! You have no respect for my personal space.

Danny

Don't you dare tell me about respect! You're yelling and slamming doors? What happened to my sweet little girl?

D.J.

Don't you get it?! I'm not your little girl anymore!

Jesse

This is my one shot at a record deal.

But you're my partner in the balloon race.

Jesse

Well, get another partner.

But you promised.

Jesse

Michelle, I can't.

But you promised.

Jesse

Michelle, I have to write my song.

But you promised!

Jesse

Well, then I'm gonna break my promise! I'm not going to the stupid picnic! So leave me alone! [walks out]

Rebecca

Jess...

Uncle Jesse yelled at me.

Danny

Oh, Michelle, I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it. Come on, we're still gonna have fun at the family picnic.

Uncle Jesse's not nice anymore.

Danny

Michelle, you have to know no matter how old you get, you're always gonna be my little princess. Just like Stephanie's always gonna be my little lady bug. And D.J.'s always gonna be my little tennis ball head.

D.J.

Anybody wanna trade?

Danny

Wake up San Francisco. Hi I'm Danny Tanner and temporarily filling in for my co-host, Rebecca "Hurry back soon" Donaldson. Is Vicky Larson.

Actually it's "Vicky I'm going to be here for four weeks, so get used to it" Larson.

Jesse

Everybody, we have to be a little sensitive to Becky's feelings. The doctor said she's gonna be a little emotional over the next few days.

Rebecca

It's not my fault. The doctor said it's very common for new mothers to have mood swings. [pauses] Why are you all staring at me?

Rebecca

Oh, well, thank you for listening.

Danny

Was that a mood swing?

Jesse

6.2.

Danny

Michelle, why did you do this?

'Cause I never see you anymore.

Teddy

Is that because you're the "spatula" of the month?

Danny

Eat your dessert, Teddy.

Danny

I'm sorry this romantic date didn't turn out quite as I had planned.

Actually, it was fun. I hope you don't mind if I tell the viewers on Monday that you're a terrific dad.

Danny

Michelle, why would somebody call you a baby?

Cause I still need training wheels.

Danny

Oh honey, that's alright. Kids take off their training wheels at all different ages. I was even a little older than you.

Joey

Danny, you still had training wheels when you had your paper route.

Danny

Am I the raddest, baddest dad a kid ever had?

DJ

You were until you said that.

Kimmy

Where's Tommy Page? Tell him his love slave is ready to fulfill his every wish.

Danny

D.J., why did you tell Kimmy?

D.J.

Because I tell Kimmy everything.

Danny

Okay, then tell her to go home.

Stephanie, I'm sorry. I gotta go home for dinner.

Stephanie

Hey, if you quit, you forfeit, Chu-meister. Dad, next word, please.

Danny

This is gonna be the last word. "Sarsaparilla".

Stephanie

Sarsaparilla. S-A-S-P-A-R-I-L-L-A. Sarsaparilla.

Danny

I'm sorry, Steph.

Stephanie

Why?

Because it's: Sarsaparilla. S-A-R-S-A-P-A-R-I-L-L-A. Sarsaparilla.

Danny

(looks it up) Man, that's right. You really are the human dictionary.

Stephanie

Now, there's a silent "R"? I hate this language!

There's a monkey at the door!

Danny

That must be my sister.

Your sister is a monkey?

Joey

Ginger, get back here!

Danny

Joey, get back here! [sees the table filled with food] Girls, what are you doing?

Stephanie

Trying to keep the curse from falling on this house.

Danny

Well, keep trying. It's not working.

Danny

Hey, have you guys seen Michelle? She's not in her room.

Jesse

What do you mean she's not in her room? She's grounded.

Danny

Yeah, I checked the whole house. I don't know where she is.

Rebecca

She's gotta be around here somewhere.

Jesse

I'll check the front.

Danny

I'll check the backyard.

Jesse

Michelle!

Danny

Michelle!

Jesse

Michelle!

Danny

Hello? Oh, thank God. Yeah, okay. We'll-we'll be-we'll be right over. Thanks, Henry.

Jesse

Well?

Danny

Michelle went down the street to Teddy's house. She ran away from home.

Jesse

What?

Rebecca

What? Why would she do that?

Jesse

Well, she was mad at me. She called me Uncle Tattletale.

Danny

Well, I'm gonna see to it she never runs away again.

Rebecca

What are you gonna do?

Danny

First I'm gonna hug her, then I'm gonna kiss her, then I'm gonna ground her for life.

Jesse

Whoa, whoa, hold it, tall man. I got a better idea.

Danny

What?

Jesse

Let's do what my dad did to me when I ran away. I guarantee she'll never do it again.

D.J.

Dad, I have to learn to drive with music, like a normal person.

Danny

I don't want you driving like a normal person. I want you driving like me.