Joey Tribbiani quotes from Friends

Ross

What? A Brain transplant?

Joey

Yes, its a highly controversial procedure.

Ross

It's ridiculous!

Joey

Well, I think it's ridiculous that you haven't sex in three and a half months.

Ross

It's winter. There are fewer people on the street.

Joey

We gotta spending limit on the date, I cant take her to a fancy place like that .

Ross

Well, Sorry. That's what I do on dates.

Joey

[By stretching hands] Well, I guess I'll just do what I do on dates.

Ross

So, Let's decide on spending limits.

Joey

$6?

Ross

I was thinking more like $100.

Joey

Okay.. Can I borrow $94?

Joey

You guys are not gonna believe this. I just talked to my agent and ..

Phoebe

Oh my... [Joey looks surprisingly] I'm sorry. Too soon. You Go..

Ross

Did you ever heard a guy who has a crush on you?

Joey

Is that why you wanna tie my tie?

Rachel

Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! You know you-I couldn't concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember what's it's like to be 19 and in love.

Ross

Yeah. I guess I can cut him some slack.

Rachel

Yeah.

Joey

How'd you get over that teacher?

Rachel

I didn't. I got under him.

Joey

Problem solved.

Ross

How did you write this ?

Chandler

I stole from Monica and changed the name.

Ross

You can't do that.

Joey

If he goes first, he can.

Joey

Hey, Pheebs, check it out. [Shows Phoebe he's wearing a lacy women's thong]

Phoebe

Hmm, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.

Monica

Chandler, for so long I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I'd ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soulmate, my friend. Unless you don't want to. You go!

Chandler

Monica, I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever had to do. But when i saw you walking down that aisle, I realized how simple it was. I love you. And any surprises that come our way, it's ok, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if I'm sure?

Joey

You may now kiss the bride. So I guess by the powers vested in me by the state of New York and the internet guys, I now pronounce you husband and wife. O WAIT! Do you take each other?

Monica

I do.

Chandler

I do.

Ross

Monica's pregnant!

Joey

Oh, my...! Is that why you guys had to get married?

Monica

Guys! I'm not pregnant.

Joey

Ah. [To Chandler] Slow swimmers?

There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.

Joey

Tell me about it. I feel like I'm holding down the fort all by myself.

Rachel

Listen -- y'know what, sir? For the last time, I don't care what the computer says. We did not take a bag of Mashuga nuts from the mini-bar and we did not watch Dr. Do-Me-A-Little!

Joey

[arriving] Hey!

Phoebe

Oh! Joey, were you in our room last night?

Joey

No. [Phoebe gives the bill to Joey. Joey turns to the concierge.] I was told the name of the movie would not appear on the bill!

Joey

[Talking to Monica over the phone because he and Phoebe mistakenly broke down Monica and Chandler's apartment door ] Hey Monica, Phoebe and I smelt gas coming from your apartment.

Monica

Oh, my...! [looks at Chandler] Joey smells gas

Chandler

What else is new?

Monica

[to joey on the phone] well yo have to get in there

Joey

Yeah but you took away our keys, would it be okay if we say, broke your door down.

Monica

Yes! Yes! Just get in, break the door down whatever!

Joey

Okay, we'll do that. [Gives thumbs up sign to Phoebe]

Ross

I'm kind of going through a dry spell, sex wise...

Joey

oh, for like , months ?

Ross

Five to be.. Lying.. Six...

Joey

Six ? That's rough..

Ross

It's not all bad, I'm learning to appreciate the small things like the sound of a bird and like the colour of the sky .

Joey

The sky's blue, Ross, and I had sex last night...

Joey

How did the date go ?

Ross

Great ! I'm across the street, having sex right now !!!

Rachel

Okay, in about ten seconds, you're gonna see him kiss me.

Ross

And in about five seconds, you're gonna see why.

Rachel

[on video] Ross, did I ever tell you about the time that I went backpacking through Western Europe?

Rachel

Okay, get ready to see some begging.

Phoebe

Oh, you came on to Ross.

Rachel

What?

Ross

Now I'm so happy.

Rachel

What are you talking about?

Monica

You used the Europe story.

Chandler

That's the magic story you use when you want to have sex!

Rachel

How do you know about that story?!

Joey

How do you know about that story?!

Rachel

I heard it from my friend Irene, who heard it from some guy.

Joey

[raising hand] Some guy!

Rachel

No, no. She told that his name was Ken Adams.

Joey

[again] Ken Adams!