Roz has given Niles the details of her shady contact, and Frasier thinks he is mad for even considering it
I will not have you turning a minor, albeit annoying situation into a Martin Scorsese film!
S3 E15A Word to the Wiseguy
During the scene where Jerome drops by unexpectedly
He's some hooligan who helped fix Maris's legal problem, and in return, I promised him a favor. Oh God! Do you think that's why he's here; to collect?
No Niles, he's probably hosting a luau, and came by to borrow our poi ramekins(!)
S3 E16Look Before You Leap
You don't realize how desperate I am. Ever since our separation, I've been paying women to touch me.
Oh, Niles.
Manicurists, pedicurists, facialists. Whenever you see a man who's well-groomed, you can bet he's not gettin' any.
Well, will you at least think about what I've said?
I can't. She's leaving for Europe in the morning, so I have a very small window of opportunity.
Niles, you know I'm right.
You just don't want me to have sex because you're not having any!
[shakes a finger at him] I most certainly am too!
Your lips say yes, but your cuticles speak volumes.
Roz, it is a wonderful day. You know, I think the entire city of Seattle is convinced it’s springtime. I was walking down the street, I passed a pet store, and in the window I could see two snakes doing a mating dance.
If you ask me, celebrating a dance that brings more snakes into the world is like toasting a law school graduation.
It may be an unwise man who doesn't learn from his own mistakes, but it's an absolute idiot that doesn't learn from other people's.
S3 E17High Crane Drifter
Someone has just borrowed the video of How Green Was My Valley before Frasier had the chance
Excuse me. Is there another copy?
VSVideo Store Clerk
Oh yeah, that'd be across the street in our "How Green Was My Valley" annex(!)
Frasier delivers a brief but impassioned speech, bellowing from his balcony.
People of Seattle, listen to me! We are not barbarians, we are not Neanderthals and we are not French! Do you hear that, you up there?!
Chainsaw? Of the Newport Chainsaws? How does an arrested adolescent who barely knows two chords get a pent house?
His last album sold 5 million copies.
Ah well then, I'll just add that to my list of reasons to die.
No matter how provoked you may have been, there is no earthly justification for setting someone's lawn on fire!
Ah, there he is! The man who floats like a lepidoptera and stings like a hymenoptera!
S3 E18Chess Pains
[Niles is reluctant to play chess with Frasier]
Maris and I used to play chess every Thursday night. Oh, how she loved the game.
No wonder: the king is stationary, while the queen has all the power!
[Martin repeatedly defeats Frasier at chess]
There's a saying: "In every boy's life, the moment of greatest joy and greatest sorrow is when he defeats his father for the first time."
If you're suggesting that I'm afraid to beat Dad, you can just stop right there.
O.K. The other option is, he's better than you.
[pause] You were saying?
S3 E19Crane Vs. Crane
Mr. Safford's lawyer, John Giroux, approaches Frasier on behalf of his client
GGiroux
Judge him by his words and his actions, not by how old he is.
You sound like my father: a man who believes that burial is a form of age discrimination.
Niles arrives at Frasier's apartment. Daphne answers the door
Oh, Dr. Crane, don't say anything about last night's boxing match. Your dad hasn't seen it yet.
Oh, I didn't even know it was boxing season.
S3 E20Police Story
Frasier, why didn't you tell me it was your birthday? I'd have thrown you a birthday party at the station.
(through his teeth) Question asked, question answered.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Frasier pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.