Daphne Moon quotes from Frasier

Roz

Whatever Frasier's paying you, it's not enough.

Daphne

Actually, I'd need a raise to get me to "not enough".

Frasier

So you're suggesting that I go along and pretend I'm enjoying myself in something that gives me absolutely no pleasure at all just to hear the words "I love you"?

Daphne

Why not? Women have been doing it for centuries.

Frasier

Is this what you do when I'm not at home?

Daphne

Not quite. When you're not home I can bloody well hear what they're saying!

Frasier

You wouldn't want to miss a line of this dialogue: "Oh Zirconia, can't you see Stone doesn't love you, he loves Placenta!"

Daphne

I don't think someone called "Frasier" should be pointing any fingers.

Daphne

Will there be anything else?

Bebe

No, you run along, I'm fine.

Daphne

You're sure now? Because I could wait until you've finished the biscuit and floss your teeth for you!

Frasier

My God, in one scene they've got Sky, Xena and Slate!

Daphne

I don't think someone called "Frasier" should be pointing any fingers.

Frasier

Is this the way you spend your days when I'm not at home?

Daphne

Not quite. When you're not home, I can bloody well hear what they're saying!

Frasier

Well, you wouldn't want to miss a line of this dialogue: "Oh Zirconia, can't you see Stone doesn't love you; he loves Placenta!"

Daphne

It's not like men have never used sex to get what they want.

Frasier

How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex is what we want!

Daphne

There's nothing quite as exciting as a first date. All those questions you ask. “What's your favorite food?” “What's your favorite color?” “If you were to come back as an animal, what sort of animal would you be?” If she were to ask you that one, what would you say?

Frasier

“Check, please” comes to mind.

Frasier

Chainsaw? Of the Newport Chainsaws? How does an arrested adolescent who barely knows two chords get a pent house?

Daphne

His last album sold 5 million copies.

Frasier

Ah well then, I'll just add that to my list of reasons to die.

Daphne

Oh, Dr. Crane, don't say anything about last night's boxing match. Your dad hasn't seen it yet.

Niles

Oh, I didn't even know it was boxing season.

Daphne

Oh, Dr. Crane, why is it so easy to love our families, yet so hard to like them?

Frasier

Well, Daphne, that is one of those questions that make life so rich…and psychiatrists richer.

Martin

I gotta say: I'm impressed.

Daphne

Yeah. I'm starting to think maybe I should spend an hour or two on the couch with you. (Niles grins)

Martin

Are you kidding? With Niles, it'd only take two minutes!

Niles

(grin fades) Thanks, Dad.

Daphne

Last night, Roz insisted on taking me to this bar she calls “The Sure Thing”.

Frasier

How flattering! They've named a bar after her.

Niles

I asked Maris.

Daphne

Sap.

Frasier

I think Daphne speaks for us all.

Daphne

[about Sherry] She says I'm too rigid.

Niles

Nonsense!

Daphne

And that I'm too picky.

Niles

Poppycock!

Daphne

And that I'd be much happier if I just went out and had sex with someone...

Niles

Just to play devil's advocate...

Daphne

Dr. Crane! Are you all right?

Niles

(shaken) I'm fine. Just a little hot…and foamy…

Martin

You know what must've happened? My Hot & Foamy must have exploded!

Daphne

He was a detective, you know(!)