Mr. Herriman quotes from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Mr. Herriman

Oh, she's not imprisoned, she just says that so people will do her chores for her.

Frankie

So sue me.

Mr. Herriman

Blue Blazes!

Bloo

And so it begins. [Bloo puts Mr. Herriman in a sack and kidnaps him]

Mr. Herriman

[after hanging out with Bloo at Tijuana, where the two are situated by a cliff near the city] So Master Blooregard, are you ready to relent allow me return to Fosters' and my beloved binky back?

Bloo

No! I can break you... I know I can!

Bloo

You will have fun even if it he kills me!

Mr. Herriman

Oh now you've gone too far, as much as I've disliked our extended excursion, I do not wish you to sacrifice yourself in order to please me.

Bloo

It is an expression geez! you take everything you do seriously! You take yourself way to seriously, you need to learn how to laugh at yourself.

Mr. Herriman

YOU!

Bloo

Me?

Mr. Herriman

I know you became up no good, Master Blooregard!

Bloo

Me?! But it was all of them! They pulled a PRANK ON ME! I'm totally innocent!

Mr. Herriman

Oh, please, Master Blooregard, three of these people did never do anything wrong unless you make them. [faces Bloo] You expect me to believe THEY'RE the other causes of all of this?!

Bloo

Yes! I didn't do anything! I'm totally innocent!

Room service for, uh, Bloo?

Mr. Herriman

THAT DOES IT! [takes Bloo to somewhere] I am putting you some reason why you can try to cause no tomfoolery!

Bloo

You felt all of it wrong! It was them... them I'm telling you! they tried to prank me with the door and the bucket! You're letting them getting away from it! I'm innocent, innocent I tell you!

Mr. Herriman

[over the speaker, which startled Frankie out of bed] Miss Frances. It's 7:15 A.M. You're late.

Frankie

Rise and shine, Murphy and Durphy. Breakfast in 10. [closes the door and walks over to another bedroom door] Morning, Clambake, Cy, and Jimmy Shoes. Almost anther time for breakfast.

[inside of the bedroom] Uh, Frankie...

Frankie

No worries. I hereby saw you running out last night. [throws a round roll of toilet paper in the room off-screen and closes the door]

[inside of the bedroom] Uh, Frankie...

Frankie

[interrupts] Clean socks... Don't match. Told you I wouldn't forget. [closes the door, walks to and knocks on another, and wakes up another best friend of his favorite] Good morning, Jackie. Got your eyedrops.

Mr. Herriman

[notices the chained-up toy chest sitting in front of the door after Frankie tripped on it] What's this?

Frankie

I don't know. Someone just left it here.

Mr. Herriman

[reads the note] "Imaginary friend inside: Do not try to open."

Frankie

What?! Who could try to lock a friend in a trunk? How awful!

Mr. Herriman

[clicks tongue] Miss Frances, that sign is an explicit instruction.

Frankie

So?

Mr. Herriman

Must I remind you what we do with explicit instructions, young lady?

Mr. Herriman

I assure you, I shall tend to your requests once I try to complete trying to mop this- Doh! [many imaginary friends walk by, making the floor dirty again] It's ruined! Oh, very well. I shall simply begin again.

Jackie

No trying to mope till I get my sandwich!

I want clean underwear!

Mr. Herriman

ENOUGH! I'm sick of taking care of everyone and everything and never getting a word of thanks, an ounce of help, or a tiny LITTLE SMIDGEN OF RESPECT! [all the imaginary friends are completely shocked to hear him say that; calmly] That's Miss Francis' favorite job. [then furious] And I demand to remember that she take it back! Now, where is that lazy girl?! [hops away, as Jackie made a mop into a sandwich and eats it]

Jackie

Mmm. Not bad.

Mr. Herriman

Aha! There you are, Miss Francis!

Frankie

Mr. Herri-

Mr. Herriman

[stops her from talking] Now, where is this toy chest friend? [hops angrily over to World] You, young man, are a bad, bad, bad, bad, bad boy! Luring a naive, young woman into to this silly little imaginary world and keeping her from her duties! Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shame on you! Now, I'm taking Miss Frances and those unsupported whimper-snappers over here back to their wrightful home! And you, young man, you are going to stay here in this toy chest, alone! And think long and hard about what you have done before or once or since! [pushing Frankie and the other people away]

Frankie

Ow, ow, ow! Mr. Herriman. You have no idea, what you just did-

Mr. Herriman

I know very well what I'm doing, young lady.

[becoming incredibly enraged with hatred as his castle melts] NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! GIVE HER TO ME! GIVE HER TO ME! NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! FRANKIE IS MINE! MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE, MINE!

Mr. Herriman

Good heavens! What's happening?!

Bloo

YOU PEEVED HIM OFF, THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING!

NO! NO! GIVE HER BACK TO ME!

NOOOOOOOOOO! [turns background into shapes and nightmares] SHE NEEDS TO STAY! WITHOUT HER, MY OWN WORLD IS EMPTY! AND I'M NOTHING!

Bloo

Good grief! Are we getting anywhere?!

Mac

I don't know! Just keep running!

Eduardo

Look!

Frankie

Yes! This is the tree I wrote on before people learn I first got here! That means the entrance is...

Up there!

Mr. Herriman

[looks at the tree, reading what Frankie wrote; offended] Well, I never!

Frankie

Oh, yes, you have!

Eduardo

Ay-Yi-Yi! Why do I always need to get on the bottom?!

Mac

Just higher...

Frankie

We're gonna make it! We're gonna make it!

[echoing] NO! YOU CAN'T TAKE HER! I SHAN'T LET YOU! I WON'T LET YOU!

Frankie

Is everybody okay? Is everyone okay?

Eduardo

[Screams]

Frankie

Did you try to hurt yourself?!

Eduardo

[Screams]

Mac

Did you break something?!

Eduardo

[Screams]

Bloo

Is it your arm?!

Eduardo

[Screams]

Wilt

Is it your leg?!

Eduardo

[Screams]

Coco

Cocococo?!

Eduardo

[Screams]

Mr. Herriman

Oh, for goodness sake! What's it?!

Mr. Herriman

Master Mac! [picks him up and shakes him frantically] Where's Miss Frances?!

Mac

SHE'S IN THERE! HE ATE HER!

Mr. Herriman

Miss Frances, I've remembered you since one of you here was a little girl awhile ago. And as I tried to watch you grow, I've been absolutely amazed by your lack of maturity, your laziness, and your lack of judgment.

Frankie

Good grief, this again?!

Mr. Herriman

[continues talking] And all of that time, I was wrong. If Miss Frances thinks allowing the imaginary friend into the house is an excellent idea, I trust her clearly. [smiles as Mac and the others react in shock] I SAID MOVE IT!

Frankie

[barges into the house with more letters] Everybody, stop what you're doing! We've got updates! [Flutter Nutter, Madame Foster, and Bloo run up to her] Another video from Jackie. [gives it to Fluffer Nutter] A message in a bottle from Sam Burger. [gives it to her grandma] And a piece of tree bark from Ed. [gives it to Bloo, then gives the rest of the letters to Mr. Herriman] Here, you handle the rest.

Mr. Herriman

[finds another telegram from Bloppy Pants] Another missive from Master Bloppy Pants? [clears throat and reads] "Have gone back to my first love, cooking."

One BLT, stack of ramana, hockey puck with frog sticks on the side, bloodhounds in the hay, and a cup of mud.

Cup of mud? Who would want to drink a c-c-c… and what the heck are frog sticks? [notices the stove on fire; panicking] Oh, dear, oh, my. I… [bashes the spatula to put out the fire but the flame gets bigger; freaking out] Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, my, oh, my, oh, dear! [grabs a fire extinguisher and puts out the fire]

Yeah, I need a radio sandwich with love apples.

[losing it] WHAT?!

Mr. Herriman

[shocked] Master Bloppy Pants?! What have you done?!

Only thing I could do! Had to escape the horrors of the outside world! COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! [opens up the back doors of the truck, revealing all the recently adopted imaginary friends] So I went and saved the others and brought us all back to Foster's.

Fluffer Nutter

[hugs Jackie as he hops out; happily] Jackie!

Jackie

Who loves you, baby?

I was actually quite happy in my new home.

[surprised as Sam Burger hops out] Sam Burger?!

Madame Foster

[puzzled] But how did you-- how could you-- who am I?

That Bloppy Pants is a miracle worker.

[as Eduardo is the last to hop out of the truck; happily] Eduardo!

Bloo

[surprised] But, but… we thought you were shot!

Eduardo

Sí. I was shot. [takes out a magazine with him on the cover] With a telephoto lens. The hunters turned out to be reporters looking for Samsquatch, or Bigfoot. Then they got a good look at me, and start calling me "big butt" instead. I no can stay Ezzie anymore. Her papa no like the paparazzi. Be honest, does this photo make my heinie look muy grande?

Mac

It's good to have you home, Ed.

Mr. Herriman

What the heavens?! [He and Frankie then look back up at the open window to see Bloo and the others, looking back outside down at them]

Frankie

What are you doing upstairs?!

Bloo

Chill out, Frankie, we didn't go through the first floor. We've been following all the rules.

Eduardo

Si! I even made my bed, so I can lie in it.

Frankie

[threateningly] When I get back in there, you're all in deep trouble!

What?!

Bloo

This isn't fair! We didn't do anything wrong!

Eduardo

But it no matter because now there is the new rule! We get in trouble when Frankie gets inside!

Bloo

[gets an idea] You're right. [He is seen locking the back door] There, now we can't get in trouble.

Frankie

BLOO, YOU OPEN THIS DOOR THIS INSTANT!!!! OPEN UP!!!! I'M GONNA COUNT TO 10!!! 1, 2, BLOO!!!!!

Mr. Herriman

Let us in this instant!! Bloo, open this door right now! When I get in there, they'll be in rules like you've never imagined!! Oh, my!

Mac

[concerned] Bloo, we have to let them back in.

Bloo

No way. All day, we've done everything Frankie asked of us, we haven't broken one rule.

Eduardo

What about you? You is on the first floor.

Bloo

But I'm not setting one foot on it, am I? [wiggles around in the wagon to demonstrate the loophole] Look, eventually, Frankie and Herriman will come to their senses and realize how well we're behaving. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if they're ready to apologize right now. [goes to unlock the door]

Frankie

[angry] Bloo, you are so dead!!!

Mr. Herriman

[angry] Master Blooregard, this is an utter outrage!!

Bloo

[re-locks the door] We'll give 'em a few more minutes.

Frankie

[exhausted] I can't believe it. He's really not letting us in.

Mr. Herriman

Have no fear, Miss Frances. We shall return to our guests but momentarily. For I have a key. [pulls out multiple keys on a ring]

Frankie

Awesome!

Mr. Herriman

Now, if only I can remember which one it is. [tries one key] Oh, not that one. [tries another key] No, not that one. [tries another key] No, that is definitely wrong.

Mac

I'm not moving away. It's just to another apartment in my building.

Mr. Herriman

Oh, did I fail to mention that key detail? My apologies, Master Blooregard. I do have a habit of doing that.

Mac

My mom got a promotion, and so we needed a bigger place so she can have a home office.

Bloo

[to Mr. Herriman] Then, what the heck were you talking about a tragedy?! [then to Mac] And you! All day, you've been saying Foster's is never gonna be the same after tomorrow. And it's your last chance to have one special day!

Mac

That's because I'm moving into my neighbor Louise's old apartment, except... Well... She's moving somewhere that doesn't allow imaginary friends. So...

Cheese

[appearing with suitcases] Ha, ha! Now we're brother roomies!

Wilt

I'm sorry, but this is NOT okay!

Cheese

[last lines; offscreen] Okay, bye, doggies!