Wilt quotes from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Bloo

What! You didn't eat it?!

Jackie

Eat what?

Bloo

Your sandwich. We dared Wilt to eat your sandwich, and he didn't do it!

Jackie

You what?! No, no, no, no. That's not a dare. That's a death wish.

Wilt

Told you.

Jackie

You want a dare? I'll give you a dare. I dare one of y'all to steal Madame Foster's gold-plated dentures.

I'm a little confused about the script. There's like, 10 pages of crying and then some random Spanish phrases that make no sense. And who are Darby and Explorin' Lauren?

Bloo

I like the fur, although we'd have to dye it purple. But you'll have to lose the scarf and mittens and put on about 200 pounds.

What?! [offended] Say, what sort of production is this, anyway?

Bloo

There's no production, my friend, just the role of a lifetime! Our little troupe has recently lost a member, and one lucky applicant will get to take his place.

Wait, because Eduardo got adopted, you're holding auditions for a new Ed? [rips apart the script pages and storms out of the room in annoyance, slamming the door]

Wilt

I'm sorry, Bloo. I know you miss Ed. We all do. But replacing him with someone else won't stop the pain you're feeling. [Coco squawks in agreement] Besides, it's kind of nice to have a bed to sleep in.

Two telegrams for Foster from Mr. Gloppy Sands.

Bloo

[snatches them out of his hand] That's Bloppy Pants, you, you… FAKE MAILMAN! [angrily closes the door on him]

Wilt

[baffled] Two telegrams? That's kind of strange.

Bloo

Here, live it up. [gives them to Wilt]

Wilt

[reading the first telegram] "Have dropped out of school, will seek my fortune elsewhere."

Frankie

[enters the house with Mac, carrying a handful of more letters] Bloo, what did you do to the telegram guy?

Bloo

The mail!

Mac

[sets the letters down on the floor] Yep, 34 new letters.

Frankie

[carrying a C.O.D. package from Jackie Khones] Plus this package from Jackie.

Wilt

And two telegrams from Bloppy Pants. Here's the latest. [reads the second telegram] "Have left the rat race behind, pursuing alternative career opportunities."

Frankie

[sternly] Do you guys know why I gathered you here today?

Eduardo

You es getting a divorce?

Frankie

What? No! Ed, I'm not even married.

Eduardo

[relieved] Oh, that is a big relief.

Frankie

Mr. Herriman and I are having some very important people over for a very important party.

Bloo

I'm there!

Frankie

[impatiently] Bloo!

Bloo

You gotta let me come, I'm the life of every party! [starts singing and dancing] ♪ Ain't no party like a Blooregard party 'cause the Blooregard party don't stop! Ain't no party like a Blooregard party 'cause the Blooregard party don't-- ♪

Frankie

[cuts him off] Stop! None of you are coming. It's for grown-ups only.

Wilt

I'm sorry, but is there anything we can do to help with the party?

Frankie

Yes, Wilt, there is. You can all help me very much by behaving.

Bloo

Oh, please, when have we ever not behaved?

Frankie

[reproachfully] You're right, I'm gonna have to be way less vague. Here's the rule, while the party's going on, you cannot set foot on the first floor.

Coco

Coco cococo? ("But what will we do?")

Frankie

You can pick. Either go upstairs, or stay outside.

Eduardo

Hmm. That es a muy hard decision.

Eduardo

Fire! There is a fire! FRANKIE! THERE IS A FI-

Bloo

[hops onto Ed to stop him] Are you crazy?! Frankie told us we have to be quiet!

Wilt

Don't worry! I'll put it out! [runs down the hallway, sees a fire extinquisher, and reads the sign above it] "Break in case of an emergency." Well, I guess this is an emergency. I mean, unless something else happens and it's a bigger emergency, and we should break the glass, then...

Coco

[impatiantly] Co coco! [she grabs the mallet next to the extinquisher ready to break the glass, but is stopped by Bloo.]

Bloo

Break glass? Are you crazy?! That's gonna be way too loud!

Coco

[panicked] Coco cococo co co co!

Eduardo

Water! Water is muy quiet to put out the fire!

Eduardo

The pipes, they have no inside voices!

Wilt

It's the smoke detector!

Jackie

You got a fire in your room.

[silently] WE KNOW!

Jackie

Okay.

Mac

I'm not moving away. It's just to another apartment in my building.

Mr. Herriman

Oh, did I fail to mention that key detail? My apologies, Master Blooregard. I do have a habit of doing that.

Mac

My mom got a promotion, and so we needed a bigger place so she can have a home office.

Bloo

[to Mr. Herriman] Then, what the heck were you talking about a tragedy?! [then to Mac] And you! All day, you've been saying Foster's is never gonna be the same after tomorrow. And it's your last chance to have one special day!

Mac

That's because I'm moving into my neighbor Louise's old apartment, except... Well... She's moving somewhere that doesn't allow imaginary friends. So...

Cheese

[appearing with suitcases] Ha, ha! Now we're brother roomies!

Wilt

I'm sorry, but this is NOT okay!

Cheese

[last lines; offscreen] Okay, bye, doggies!