Mac quotes from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends

Mac

Guys, you don't understand. You don't understand to start. This is really serious. My favorite mom doesn't know I go to Foster's every day. If she wakes up and sees you here, she'll know and she might never let me go back.

Eduardo

You mean, we never, ever see you ever again? [cries again after Mac shakes his head no]

Mac

That's what I'm talking about.

Bloo

Why didn't you tell us to be quiet before?

Mac

Goo, that's not my door!

Goo

Will you speak up?! I can't hear a thing you're saying!

[comes out of the door after waking up; cheerfully] Well, hello there! What can I do you gals for? [Goo accidentally knocks him out unconscious by throwing an egg at him in the face]

[comes out, seeing her husband, unconscious; waves to Coco and Goo, cheerfully] Thank you so much! [drags her husband back into their apartment] He's been having the worst insomnia. [closes the door and they go back to sleep]

Mac

Go home!

Goo

Not until you let us into the party!

Mac

There is no party!

Bloo

[coming out; shouting] I told you no girls allowed!

Mac

Bloo, get back inside!

Goo

I hope there is the party!

Mac

[screaming loudly] STOP, STOP, STOP AND BE QUIET, YOU'RE GOING TO WAKE EVERYBODY UP!!!

Terrence

[off-screen] What is going on?

Mac

I warned Bloo not to throw me a party! Every year, I tell him no more parties! But does he listen?! NO! HE NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER LISTENS!!! But he'll listen now! [laughs manically]

Frankie

Mac, this party isn't for you.

Bloo

[enters with Artie, blindfolded] Surpri-- [notices the wreckage] Whoa, what the heck happened in here?

Mac

[looks around, seeing everything is birthday-themed after Artie, and looks down at the squashed cake; shocked at realizing what he had done] I didn't…

[heartbroken] I was four years old. [runs out of the library, sobbing]

Mac

I thought this was my party. [to Goo] You said you ruined the surprise.

Goo

I didn't. Artie saw me walking with my present for him.

Mac

And I left.

Bloo

Artie left, too, remember? He walked out the door.

And I didn't want to tell him about the curtains because then everyone would know I can sew.

You can? I can sure use me some pants.

Mr. Herriman

Master Mac, when you told me you hate parties, my chief concern was protecting this one from you. But I see now no party is safe from the likes of you. You will destroy each and every one, even if that means destroying lives in the process. [hops out of the library]

Mac

But… [attempts to stop him, but retracts]

Eduardo

[annoyed] You es muy, muy meano.

Wilt

[also annoyed] Maybe next time, you could talk about your problems, instead of taking them out on a little imaginary friend.

Frankie

[also annoyed] Like I didn't have enough to clean.

Goo

[grumpily] You stink!

Bloo

How could you, Mac? He was four years old today! Four years old.

Mac

[sulking in shame] I thought it was my party.

Mac

Why didn't you go to the bathroom at the gas station?

Bloo

[wearing plungers on feet] Ew! Grody! Gas station bathrooms are disgusting!

Mac

But it's not disgusting to wear... never mind.

Frankie

[mumbles to Cheese to stop him from screaming] Rock-a-bye crazy on the treetop. When the wind blows, the cradle will destroy. When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall-

Cheese

Fall?! [screams]

Frankie

Oh, geez! Okay, um... Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his-

Cheese

Broke?! [screams]

Eduardo

I got this one! The itsy-bitsy spider-

Cheese

Spiders! [screams]

Frankie

Baa, baa, black sheep, have you-

Cheese

Sheep! [screams]

Mac

Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake-

Cheese

Cake! [screams]

Coco

[to "Three Blind Mice"] Co-co-co, co-co-co-

Cheese

Coco! [screams]

Frankie

Quick, someone think of another song! Something that's not scary!

Bloo

I got one! Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts, mutilated monkey meat, chopped-up baby birdies' feet. Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts floating in my ice cream. and I don't got a spoon.

Cheese

No spoon! [screams]

Bloo

[laughs] This is fun!

Frankie

[to Goo] You're a genius! [Goo smiles with satisfaction; runs up to Mac] Did you get it all?

Mac

[tired and exhausted] Yeah, I think I actually did!

Frankie

[with eyes tearing up with victory] Do it, Mac. Press "enter."

Cheese

Yeah! I like fishy crackers!

Frankie

[pulls to get the doors open but they're still locked and turns to Cheese; incredibly infuriated] YOU! If you had only listened to one of the thousand times I told you, [gets into his face] YOU…DON'T…LIVE…HERE! GO HOME!!!

Cheese

Cheese!

Mac

Wait, stop! Stop! [stops Madame Foster from bashing Lil' Lincoln and Moose with a broomstick, thinking they're intruders] They're not intruders. They're just imaginary friends. I brought them here. This is Lil' Lincoln and his au pair, Moose. You see, I was at school, and the teacher took these guys away from the kids who created them, and why? Because one of them was created to cheat and the other one's a big bully. So what? That's not their fault. That's no reason to lock them up in a closet forever, so what could I do? I had to rescue them and bring them here, right?

Madame Foster

[pats him on the head] You're a good boy, Mac. You did the right thing. It's a pleasure to meet you both.

Madame, the pleasure is all mine.

Wilt

Hey, Mac!

Mac

Wilt?

Wilt

Good day at school?

Mac

[speechless] What are you doing?

Wilt

Oh, your principal adopted me and gave me this job.

Mac

Okay? [resumes walking off]

Mac

This is all my fault. If I didn't bring them here, none of this would've ever happened. [sadly] I'm really sorry, guys.

Frankie

Oh, it's okay, you couldn't have known. We've just got to figure a way out of here and stop the tyranny of Abraham Lincoln!

Mr. Herriman

We're never getting out of here! All the friends are gone, the madame is brainwashed, all hope is lost!

Mac

No! There is one who can save us!

Frankie

Grandma, he's a crook! He locked us in the closet!

Mac

He sold all the imaginary friends to make money and he's gonna turn Foster's into a casino!

Mr. Herriman

He made me be his maid! [upset] Called me his First Lady.

Madame Foster

Wherever do they get these imaginations? [chuckles] Is that the paperwork giving you control of everything, dear?

Just a formality, my darling. Just scribble your nom de plume right there, and it's bon voyage.

Mac

Wow! I think it's so amazing that Madame Foster hosts this reunion every five years. It means so much for the imaginary friends to see their creators every once in a while.

Bloo

[unhappily] Hmph. I'll say.

Mac

What's wrong with you? You should be happy for all our friends.

Bloo

You are so selfish.

Mac

Me? What are you talking about?

Bloo

Look around you, Mac. These friends haven't seen their creators in years. YEARS! They are overcome with joy!

Mac

You know what I like best about the reunion? It's really cool to see what kind of people thought up all the friends we know.

Bloo

Hmm. Hadn't noticed.

Mac

You know whose creator I really wanna meet? [cut to Wilt standing sadly at a table with cupcakes] Wilt!

Wilt

[cringing] Oh! Hey, Mac! Hey, Bloo! [clenching his teeth in a strained smile and twitching his good eye]

Mac

Is there something wrong?

Wilt

[hesitantly] Yeah, sure! Never better! Sorry! Want some burgers? [instead offers Mac and Bloo a plate of cupcakes]

Bloo

[takes a cupcake] Uh, thanks.

Mac

Hey, Wilt, where's your creator?

Bloo

[groggy] Wilt? [follows him downstairs to the foyer and sees him talking to someone mysterious on the telephone]

Wilt

[on the telephone] Yeah, that's right. It's me. Bet you'd hoped to never hear from me again, didn't you? It's time we set things straight once and for all! Oh, really? Fine! Fine, then it's on! I'll see you in two days! You can count on it! [slams the phone on the receiver in anger]

Bloo

Wilt?

Wilt

[surprised to see Bloo has followed him] Oh! I'm sorry, Bloo. Did I wake you?

Bloo

Are you going somewhere?

Wilt

Well, yeah...But don't you worry about it. [slings his bindle over his back]

Bloo

"Don't worry about-?" [walks down a few more stairs to better see what Wilt is doing] What do you mean? Where are you going?!

Wilt

I did something terrible, and it's time I set things right. [closes the door behind him and leaves the house]

Bloo

Something...terrible? [hangs his mouth open in shock]

Madame Foster

Huh. Now if that ain't the pot leadin' the horse to water.

Frankie

Well, he couldn't have just left.

Mac

[opens up Wilt's locker] Look. His locker's empty.

Eduardo

And his toothbrush is gone.

Coco

[checking under the bunk beds where Wilt usually sleeps and finds nothing there] Coco coco co co!

Mr. Herriman

By Jove, he is gone.

Bloo

See?! I told you!

Frankie

No note? No letter? No nothing.

Madame Foster

Oh, that's not like him at all.

[as the doorbell rings; weeping while dabbing her teary eyes with a tissue] Just a… minute. [answers the door]

Frankie

Hello, ma'am. We hate to bother you, but… [Sara's Mom starts tearing up again] Oh, my gosh. Are-are you okay?

Bloo

[poking out from the bus window; shouting] WILT MUST HAVE ROBBED THEM! HE'S GETTING DESPERATE!

I'm fine. It's just… I love getting visitors. [starts weeping]

Mac

Oh, well, uh… We're looking for our friend. He's really tall and red with one arm.

Oh, yes. He was here. [Mac and Frankie smile at each other; sniffs] We took him to the train station.