TV show quotes
[after the game is turned on]
Congratulations on your purchase of my latest und greatest Merchan-dazzle: Sigmund ze Sorcerer's Vizard Challenge!
Whoa!
Ugh, even his hologram is insufferable!
You!
Me!, Oh he picked me!
Are you ready for ze ultimate video game challenge?
Yes!, My life's work has led to this moment.
Zhen, enter your vizard name.
[the boys have finished logging in]
Fandalf! Gorlock! Pyle the Insignificant, choose your controllers!
[Fanboy and Chum Chum see two black glove controllers with attached wands]
Awesome!
Wait, What -- what about me? Where's my controller?
Vands are for vizards! You will be the shoe.
Oh, Milkweed. Your forgotten son has returned-- [something falls and bounced on his head, landing on his hands] What the elf is this?
[when the lights turn on, showing they returned back to reality] Ooh!, It's a board game!
Milkweed Academy: The Home Game.
You mean I've been busting my shoe just to win a stupid game for children?!
Not just for children!, Fun for ages 8 to 888.
[slamming the board game on the floor] THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
[suddenly on orb hologram] But Kyle, you didn't foolishly think that playing a video game vould get you into ze most exclusive school in the universe, did you?
Yes, that is what your ambiguous marketing led me to -- wait. How did you know my name?
Hmm, how indeed Kyle?, Could be zat I am not the hologram, but rather ze real Sigmund surrounded by a glowly spell? Oh, Kyle. It seems zat you vill never learn! [Sigmund Laughs, Suddenly freezes and grunting] Vait!, Vhy am I not able to move ze limbs?!
[Scene opens with the title card song, then the school bell ringing]
Look, everyone! The latest piece in my "Chalks of the World" set came! Check it out! The Leaning Chalk Tower of Pisa, ooh! I can't wait to use it! Suck-Up! Get up here and erase this board! [pause] Hey, where's Suck-Up?
[Wizard sting, we see Kyle's empty desk]
[gasp] Kyle's not in here to erase the board! Now's our chance!
Hmm?
This is what we trained for.
I can't! I'm too nervous! [wimpers]
Just picture everyone in their underwear...on the outside of their clothes.
[grunts] Uh, I can only picture you! [then, bravely] But it's enough.
Greetings, Super Chum. It is I, your arch enemy, the Fannihilator.
It's the Fannihilator, your archenemy!
Correct As Usual, Captain Obvious! So, Fannihilator, Perhaps You Can Shed Some light On my missing peanut butter.
[At beginning of episode]
"And then, as her three tongues licked her seven lips, he realized that she was a..."
FACE-EATING ALIEN FROM PLANET X!
I am shocked to my very core, Chum Chum. If this children's comic book is to be believed, there are Face-Eating Aliens living among us.
And they look exactly like everyone else! And the only way to recognize them is by their horrible screech!
HI!!!
Girls are so funny. "Pass these notes and make sure you don't read it. It's for girls only."
Unless...They are not girls at all! ask yourself, Chum Chum. Why would a group of girls get together on a Saturday night?
To braid each other's hair and glue rhinestones to cookies?
Ha, ha, ha, ha! I don't think so. No, I think you'll find the far more rational explanation is...THEY'RE FACE-EATING ALIENS FROM PLANET X!
[gasp, choke] I sucked in some glitter.
See for yourself. What are those girls doing right now?
Jumping rope?
Sure. They might be jumping rope, or they might be -- SPOOLING UP A WORMHOLE SO THEY CAN TELEPORT BACK TO PLANET X. WHERE THEY'LL HOST THEIR EVIL ALIEN BANQUET. The main course? FACE!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
It is Fanboy and Chum Chum!
[gasps] The ultimate violation of slumber party protocol!
These boys have to be punished!
This is the part where they eat our faces!
[They scream as the girls lean in as the view goes black and we hear smacking and licking sounds... then it fades back up to reveal the girls wearing lipstick as Fanboy and Chum Chum stand, still perfectly fine.]
[gasps] They didn't eat our faces!
[They turn to reveal themselves smooched all over with kiss marks]
But they did kiss them...!
THAT'S EVEN WORSE!!!!!!!!
[They run out of Yo's house screaming in embarrassment as the girls laugh; once they get away from the house, they wipe the kiss marks away and sigh.]
Well, at least we know the girls aren't aliens, am I right?
I can't believe they thought we were Face-Eating Aliens!
I knoooooow! We're Head-Eating Aliens. [opens fridge revealing lifelike heads]
I like Fankylechum!
[After Faniel and Chumtholemew get brain burn from the Bakedy Beany Beans and pay Lenwig]
Did you remember to open the pressure valve?
[They turn around]
[shakes head] Eeeyup!
So, ya did remember?
[shakes head] Eeeeeyup!
You remembered to open the pressure valve that releases the dangerous steam that builds and builds and could cause the entire machine to explode?
[shakes head] Eeeeeeeeyup!
Why do you keep askin' him that? What part of "yep" don't you understand?!
It's just that he keeps shakin' his head "no" when he sayin' "yep"!
Ohh! Well, that's because "yep" is gibberish for "No, I most certaintly did not release the pressure valve as you requested. I'm a humble man with many shortcomings, but I am just as he made me. I apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused. Sincerely, Chumtholomew."
What? What? Are -- are you kiddin'?
[shakes head] Eeeyup!
[After Faniel and Chumtholemew told Lenwig how they made it to the store again from the mine, showing the map where they found the cavern with the Frosty Freezy Freeze, and packing the whole cavern with dynamite to the store]
[shocked, as he puts the glob of Frosty Freezy Freeze he was one away] You packed a huge stack of dynamite directly under my store?! Oh, thank goodness. It's not lit. [relieves]
Well, of course it's not lit. That'd be dangerous. Plus we don't got nothing to light it with other than that lantern you gave us. [pokes Lenwig in one of his eyes]
[as he makes electricity with his two fingertips] You didn't leave that lantern down in there, where it could thoroughly easily set off the fuse that's connected to that dynamite and blow up the entire store, did you?
[shakes head] Mmmmmnope!
[explains] See, when he says no, he means--
I know what it means! [as he, Faniel and Chumtholemew run out of the store] RUUUUUUUUUN!
[Fanboy and Chum Chum try to use the outhouse across from the igloo]
WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!
I CAN'T GO WITH YOU LOOKING! CLOSE YOUR EYES!
I'M TRYING, BUT THEY'RE FROZEN OPEN!
Purple kid, talking raccoon, you tricked me. This isn't the future at all! And I think I threw out all my clothes, because I thought they'd gone out of style.
Well, technically they have gone out.
I'm confiscating that microphone of lies! Give it to me now
Oh, Keep it down! My brain hasn't thawed yet.
Um, did you happened to leave Your Brown Bear In The Bathroom?
What? No I- [Gasps] Fanboy! Where is your underwear?!
AHHH!!! MY UNDERWEAR IS GONE!! Don't look at me! I'm hideous! Uh, Chum Chum? Where's your underwear?
Huh? [gasps] MY UNDERWEAR IS GONE TOO! I'm an underwearless freak!
[upset] We Don't Have Our Underwear!
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?!?
Do Not Panic! I'm sure they're Around here somewhere.
[While trying to search for their missing underwear]
Not in the closet...
Not under the chair...
Not in the fridge...
Not in the bear!
Not in the nook...
Not in the cranny!
Not in my head!
Not on my fanny!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Fanboy & Chum Chum pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
