[after Greg finds out about Chris' stage name]
Isn't Chrissy a girl's name?
It's a black thing.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Just as everyone else was scared by "The Exorcist," my father was scared by another movie: Night of the Lepus.
[about Jerome] He went on to join Public Enemy as one of the guys who looked tough, but was never allowed to rap.
WCWhite Cop
We have a warrant for the arrest of Hilton Reed, a.k.a. DJ Hilly Hill.
The first rule of breakin' the law: If the cops are after you, don't stand under a sign with your name on it.
When I was 14, I never got a chance to hang out with my dad much because all he did was work and sleep.
[after Rochelle gives her the wrong picture] Momma, this is not Billy Ocean. This is Billy Dee Williams.
What? Let's see that. [takes the picture and looks at it] Dammit, Risky!
Ask anybody. They'll tell you. You can always hang out with your daddy. Go to the movie.
Go to the game, man. You know if my father wasn't in jail, that's what I'd do.
Yeah, go to the game, but whatever you do, don't sit behind home plate. My father was killed by a line drive to the medulla oblongata. Tragic!
Go to the game. My father never took me 'cause I was a test tube baby. Want some peanuts?
Why don't you and the girl go see a movie about the game that your father's goin' to?
My mother had lost more stuff in her purse than the Bermuda Triangle. She lost little things.
There's my lipstick.
She lost big things.
There's that skillet.
She lost great big things.
There's that gallon of milk.
And things she didn't know how she lost.
There's my purse.
They might have found Biggie's killer if they looked inside my mother's purse.
I couldn't imagine going to a baseball game with my father.
Why not?
Because they didn't have baseball games in the Quảng Ngãi Province.
Was your dad in Vietnam?
Nope, Queens.
I don't know, he disappeared when I was two. I haven't seen him since.
20 years later, Monk found his father on MySpace. Profile name: Military Mike-tastic.
Tonya loved Billy Ocean, so naturally, she joined the Billy Ocean fan club and sent off for an autographed picture. But it wasn't the first fan club she joined. There was the DeBarge fan club, the Shalamar fan club, even the Terence Trent D'Arby fan club. Too bad they were bought out by the Al B. Sure fan club.
If Tasha were here to do her voice-over, she would admit that she's heartbroken.
ATAdult Tasha
[narrating] No, I wouldn't. I wasn't heartbroken, I don't even remember this happening.
So I'll see you later?
Um, yeah. OK.
While Tasha silently suffered in Brooklyn...
ATAdult Tasha
[narrating] I wasn't suffering then and I'm not suffering now— I don't care.
[about Michael] He wants to take me to dinner and everything.
Everything means nothing but dinner.
I thought about one girl so much when I was 16, I forgot I was 30.
MMichael
Rochelle, what are you doin' out here, sneakin' up on people? You coulda caused me to have a heart attack!
Michael shoulda died years ago, but his heart was way too lazy to attack him.
Win or lose, I bet I'm in trouble!
Did you hear about Doc?
No. What happened?
He won $300 on the basketball game last night.
Gambling? I hate gambling.
My mother hated gambling because my grandfather loved it. He'd gamble on anything: fights...
[Gene is watching two kids playing Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots]
GGene
C'mon, Blue! Let's go! C'mon, Blue!
[the kid controlling the red robot wins]
GGene
Doggone it!
He'd gamble on races.
[Gene is watching two kids race on tricycles; one of them wins]
GGene
Doggone it!
He'd even bet on the weather.
GGene
I got $10 on sunny and 79!
[it is raining outside]
GGene
Doggone it!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Everybody Hates Chris pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.