Principal Edwards quotes from Everybody Hates Chris

Principal Edwards

Now remember, the only way you're going to get along with Caruso is to understand why he hates you. He needs your help.

Chris

But if I'm helping him, who's gonna help me?

Principal Edwards

You're helping yourself.

Narrator

Spoken like a true white man.

Principal Edwards

You were fighting. Why?

Chris

'Cause he hates black people, and I'm a black person!

Caruso

That's a lie! I love Michael Jordan. I think Gary Coleman is hysterical. And don't even get me started about Billy Ocean.

Principal Edwards

"Caribbean Queen." That's a very good song.

Caruso

See?

Chris

Just because you watch Soul Train don't make you Don Cornelius!

Narrator

After spending a whole day with Principal Edwards, I no longer felt like an outsider. I had a new friend.

Principal Edwards

[puts a tardy slip on Chris] You're late.

Chris

What? A tardy slip? But what about yesterday?

Principal Edwards

That was in the past. We're in the now, Chris, and now you're late.

Principal Edwards

As long as you're you, there'll always be a Caruso.

Narrator

I thought about living in Japan.

Caruso

Arigato, Slappy.

Narrator

In London...

Caruso

Cheerio, Nipsy.

Narrator

Morocco...

Caruso

Asalamalakem, Flip.