Mr. Newton quotes from Everybody Hates Chris

[to Caruso] You don't see me making fun of you because you look like a Brooklyn Beach Barney Rubble.

It's algebra, the math of the unknown.

Chris

Then I must be doing great, 'cause I don't know it.

Narrator

Algebra wasn't the only thing I didn't know, and everything I didn't know, he was determined to teach me. He taught me language.

Veni, vidi, vici. I came, I saw, I conquered.

Chris

Eenie, meenie, miney, mo, catch a tiger by the toe.

Narrator

He taught me history.

The Vitruvian Man.

Chris

The Hangman. Pick a letter.

Narrator

He taught me science.

Your turn.

Chris

Got anything bigger?

Narrator

Please don't kill me in the name of science, ribbit!

Starting tomorrow, we're going to put some brains inside that head of yours.

Narrator

And I'm gonna put a brick upside that head of yours!

Chris

Are you serious?

As a catastrophic cardiac infarction.

Narrator

Quit showin' off, just say "heart attack!"

Good morning. I'm Mr. Newton.

Caruso

More like Mr. Tibbs.

It's a B minus, all right?

Chris

No, sir!

Do you wanna learn?

Chris

Yes, sir!

Do you wanna quit?

Chris

No, sir!

Do you wanna go to another school?

Chris

No, sir!

Why?

Chris

'Cause I have no other place to go!

Then you better answer my question: What's A squared plus B squared?

Chris

C squared!

I can't hear you!

Chris

C squared! It's C squared!

That's right! That's what I'm talkin' about!

Narrator

That was the worst wet T-shirt contest ever.

This exam is critically important, so I advise all of you to study hard. Especially you, Chris.

Chris

Man, I can't believe this. The guy's gonna kill me. It's not like I didn't have it bad enough comin' to this school from the other side of town, havin' the kids kick the crap outta me, but now the teacher's gonna kick the crap outta me too.

Caruso

Quit complaining, Kareem. I love this guy. I didn't like him at first because of the whole black thing, but I'm doing better at math now. And the things he taught me about jazz, forget about it.

You! You did this to me!

Chris

I didn't know you were gonna get shot.

You sent me to this hellhole! This is your fault! Oh, you just gonna stand there?! I know where you live! I tried to teach you! I tried to help... get your hands off of... I know who your people is! Tried to help you!