Jack Carter quotes from Eureka

Carter

You were talking about his mom. If you were bragging about going on a date with my mom I'd run off into the woods too!

Grant

Then I'll be sure never to tell you about it.

Carter

Am I crazy?

Stark

You're not crazy. Go ahead, pinch me.

Carter

I don't want to pinch you.

Stark

You know you want to.

Carter

No, I really don't!

Carter

OW!

Stark

Told you I'm real.

Carter

I'm tried of having to hear about the shoes I have to fill.

Stark

(proudly) Size 13! (quietly) Just saying.

Henry

That was a little too close to home.

Carter

Yeah. "What's the frequency, Kenneth?"

Carter

I just don't get it.

Stark

It's science, Carter. No one expects you to get it.

Carter

Well, if it's... (sees Stark) Put a shirt on!

Stark

Hey, this is your fantasy, not mine.

Carter

Nightmare!

Carter

Ah you likey the science talk.

Allison

A little bit.

Stark

I likey the barf.

Fargo

Hello, cop types? Bad guys ain't gonna find themselves!

Carter

Is he getting bossier?

Jo

I kind of like it.

Jo

Listen, Carter. When we were halucinating, I sort of told Zane that we used to be together. And then I threw his grandmother's ring at him.

Carter

Oh, this is gonna be fun.

Carter

Taggart's Santa.

Jo

You just wrecked Christmas with two words.

Allison

Hey, you know, it's still not too late to come with me. You can change your mind.

Because going to a medical conference with your mom is just every teenager's dream.

Jack

This is the sarcasm phase. It's, uh, right after the ignoring phase, and just before the loathing phase.

Allison

All right, uh, so everything you need is in this bag, and I had Deputy Andy upgraded with the latest childcare techniques so if you need any extra help...

Jack

Please, I survived a teenage daughter. And, apart from running away a few dozen times and brief stint in jail, she turned out okay.

Zane

There's nothing wrong with me.

Carter

You set Jo's house on fire to get her attention.

Zane

Okay, I see your point.

Holly

Jo sent me. She's busy herding dogs.

Carter

Excuse me!

Holly

No, no, not hur-ting, her-ding. With a "d."

(As Zane comes down the stairs) Good Morning Zane.

Zane

Good Morning SARAH.

I'm detecting a difference in your electrolytes since you arrived last night. Would you like a sports drink?

Zane

Nah, I'm good. [he sees Allison and Carter] Sup?

Sup.

Zane

The P.A.L.s scan and analyze potential security and safety risks. Then they play the outcomes in live action, giving you a variable time frame for them to become reality.

Fargo

Yeah, it's like having your own Professor Xavier.

Carter

Who's Professor Xavier?

Zane

Okay, I'm gonna pretend you didn't just say that.