I was hall monitor for a day in the 5th grade and they fired me for selling passes to the other kids.
Well, I'm sure you've matured since.
Not that much really.
S9 E4Walk Like a Man
You hit another doctor?
Yeah, Dr. Pratt
Oh. Well in that case, I'll overlook it.
[to Luka] When you're waiting on a patient's results, it's not necessary for you to boff that patient's mother in the storage closet.
[As Abby is removing a dead goldfish from the tank in the waiting room]
Time of death, 7:36 a.m.
Ah. Your goldfish coded?
Yep. Third time this week. Every afternoon I restock the little pond here, and every morning it's like the Exxon Valdez came through.
You can get somebody else to do this for you.
Well, I'm committed.
Committed fish killer.
[Abby drops the fish into Carter's coffee cup]
And the moral of the story is?
Never sleep with a patient's mother.
At least not until the labs are back.
S9 E5A Hopeless Wound
I know most people don't like me; I don't care, I don't like most people. But I'm good at what I do. I save people's lives. Every day. If I can't do that...
I lost my wedding ring!
Oh, boo-hoo, this guy's about to lose a leg! I'd say chop chop, but that would be in extremely poor taste!
[after Corday loses her wedding ring down the drain] Somebody call the Tiffany's Search and Rescue team!
Maybe you could wear some Swastikas with that outfit. You could be a naughty Nazi nurse.
You totally suck, you know that?
Hey, careful! Creating a hostile work environment!
[about Luka] I'm not working with him.
Why?
Because he treats nurses like idiots!
Hey, if your boots fit!
Shoes.
Whatever.
S9 E6One Can Only Hope
[while on the phone] Excessive therapy, excessive. Alright, how's this for excessive? I had my arm sliced off. I mean, what do I have to do to get full therapy? Do I have to have a pack of wolves come chew my leg off, too? Look, my physical therapist, my orthopedic surgeon, and the chief of staff of the hospital that pays your premium, what's his name again? Oh yeah, that's right, ME, have all determined that I need a minimum of five days a week in order to regain occupational use. [begins to yell] It's not disability, you nut! I'm still working...Hello...Hello? [slams down phone] Coward!
[to Abby] I've been doing this job for 17 years, honey. Doctors come and go, but nurses make this place run. We don't get much credit or pay. We see a lot of misery, a lot of dying, but we come back every day. I've given up being appreciated, but I sure as hell won't let any of us be taken for granted.
I can't believe a guy comes in here with three bullet holes and nobody called me.
You are such a trauma queen.
I could use a sponge bath.
You up for a lap dance, Malik?
Maybe...
Stay away from me, you chocolate homo.
How did you know my stage name?
[approaching Nathan, who's sitting on the EL station bench] Hi.
PNPaul Nathan
Hey.
[long pause as Corday sits beside him]
PNPaul Nathan
Uh, I hear the organ service got Alison on the UNOS list.
Yes, I know. Status two. [pause] It's a nice feeling.
PNPaul Nathan
What?
When you realize you've affected someone's life. Touched them in some way.
PNPaul Nathan
You think she'll last long enough?
One can only hope.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's E.R. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.