It's new policy. When we call for a consult the resident has 60 minutes to respond to the page or we call the attending. All the department heads signed off on it except Psych. Crazy bastards.
S12 E4Blame It on the Rain
That's nice Eve, maybe you can bring it up at your next "Nazi Nurse" rally.
[to Eve] If you want us to act like professionals, then you need to treat us as such. You saw me with Dr. Kovac and how well we worked together. If that doesn't prove we can work the same shift, then you don't know your job as well as you think you do.
What is that the rain turns the residents in this city into idiots?
S12 E5Wake Up
[Dr. Pratt is about to give nitroglycerin to Clemente, who is posing as a patient with chest pain]
No... no, I did two lines of coke last night.
What?
Yeah, and a bottle of tequila.
You did?
Yeah, not to mention three Viagra.
Why didn't you say something?
Aren't you supposed to take my history?
Who are you?
Victor Clemente, your new attending and congratulations Doc, you just killed me.
[to Luka] The last time I reached out to someone, Dubenko tried to make me his concubine.
[about Clemente] He's annoying.
You just said you liked his bloody shoes, you wanker!
Just because he's annoying doesn't mean I can't like his shoes!
[about Clemente] He's kind of hot.
I thought you had a boyfriend.
I do, but he's at war and so are my hormones.
S12 E6Dream House
Management is a bitch.
Yeah, it's not the only one.
We should take a core temp.
I'm not sticking anything up this monkey's ass.
You know, if I had a nickel for everytime I said that.
What's the big hurry?
Zoey's here- she's in Exam Two.
[grins] She is?
Yes, she is. Oh! And I almost forgot. She's fourteen years old.
[pause, grins] Shut up.
She was born in 1990, Ray. [Ray's smile slips a notch]
What?
That's the decade immediately preceding the one we're in? [Ray's smile vanishes]
Are you for real?
Yes! And, in... prison math, I believe, fourteen equals five to ten? [Ray glances around worriedly]
Where is she?
Exam Two. And here's the kicker, Jerry Lee: your prepubescent penis-pal has chlamydia.
I had no idea she was that young!
Young? She's still teething. Although, I don't know, maybe you enjoy that.
She didn't say anything, how was I supposed to know?
Take her out for coffee, converse with her a bit, before you start boffing and handing out house keys!
I don't card my dates, okay?
Oh, well maybe it's time that you started.
1990?
It was a very good year for Chlamydia.
Why didn't you tell me?
I thought it was just a bladder infection from all the sex we were having.
No, God, not that. Why didn't you tell me how old you are?
Well, you never asked.
You said you were a student.
I am!
In what, 9th grade?
Eighth.
...
I didn't think you'd like me if you knew!
Well, you know, you're right! Because I also don't like courtrooms, and prisons, and men named Hank who make me their bitch!
I'm sorry.
Why? Because I talked myself into liking some groupie who turned out to be Hilary Duff with an STD?
S12 E7The Human Shield
I've got lawyers, lady.
Yeah? Well, I've got Jerry, so unless you want to be carried out of here like a dirty diaper, I suggest you sit down. [Jerry glances over and puts on a tough-guy face]
...Come on, Zoe. [they walk to the waiting room]
[to Sam']'...You know, I abhor violence.
Yeah, I know that- but he doesn't.
Is this a gang shooting?
Guy used his daughter as a human shield.
Oh, lovely.
Yeah.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's E.R. pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.







