Neela Rasgotra quotes from E.R.

Ray, the plumber came, and the shower's fixed.

Ray Barnett

Oh, Hallelujah, I love you!

Neela

You owe me eighty bucks. Ready to sign out?

Is it always like this?

Neela

Multiply the usual bus-load of colds and coughs times ten because it's February, add four for seasonal complaints: frostbites, sled accidents, tongues frozen to metal poles, double the car crashes, add your baseline chest pains, strokes and GSWs. And this is what you get: hell frozen over.

Pratt

Neela, you could be the best doctor here- Hell, everybody knows you're five times smarter- but most of the time, you're in your head.

Neela

You're right, I am. I... blow things out of proportion, I obsess.

Pratt

So stop.

Neela

Well, it's just- I come here, I do my shift, I go home, I sleep. I can't believe this is my life!

Pratt

See, now that's the problem. This cannot be your life. You need to go out, you need to have some fun- when was the last time you were on a date?

Neela

Why does everybody seem to think I need to get laid?!

Pratt

[grins, pats her shoulder] Trust me on this- sometimes it helps.

Neela

When you have a cut, or some injury, but all you have in the house is one of those band-aids that don't even stay on, they don't really help the problem at all. This would be very nice, I'm sure. It already was... can you see what I mean?

Um... I'm a tiny band-aid?

Jerry

Two words, Pratt: voice mail.

Carter

What's all that?

Pratt

Friends of mine begging me to go to a party after a long 12-hour shift. That's the problem with the non-medical types, they don't get it.

Par-tay tonight at Ike's! The boss man is buying, but don't get used to it. Who's on board?

Carter

[aside] Sometimes the medical types don't get it.

Ray?

Ray

Uh, other plans.

Neela?

Neela

The Apprentice is on.

Neela

He's here for the actors. It's his play they ruined.

My stage manager is filling in. Horrid. But if I can get them back in time, I might still have a second act.

Abby

I doubt these guys are up for it.

No, they're professionals. You know, "the show must go on."

Abby

Yeah... why is that, exactly? I mean, why can't the show just stop once and awhile?

Neela

Where's Ray?

He never came back down from labor and delivery.

Neela

He probably stayed upstairs to hit on one of those OB nurses.

Abby

[when two snobbish women start mocking Neela on the L] Just ignore them. They're on a bulimia high.

Neela

Should we help?

Abby

No. [Neela goes back anyway and feels the ankle for damage]

Don't- touch- me!

Neela

Try not to move. I'm a doctor- you may have broken your ankle

If you're a doctor, I want a second opinion!

Neela

Okay. [gets up] Dr. Lockhart, would you care to give a second opinion?

Abby

Sure. Your ankle may be broken, and you're a bitch. [they walk away]

[about Clemente] He's annoying.

Neela

You just said you liked his bloody shoes, you wanker!

Just because he's annoying doesn't mean I can't like his shoes!

Neela

[about Clemente] He's kind of hot.

Abby

I thought you had a boyfriend.

Neela

I do, but he's at war and so are my hormones.

Abby

We should take a core temp.

Neela

I'm not sticking anything up this monkey's ass.

Abby

You know, if I had a nickel for everytime I said that.

Ray

What's the big hurry?

Neela

Zoey's here- she's in Exam Two.

Ray

[grins] She is?

Neela

Yes, she is. Oh! And I almost forgot. She's fourteen years old.

Ray

[pause, grins] Shut up.

Neela

She was born in 1990, Ray. [Ray's smile slips a notch]

Ray

What?

Neela

That's the decade immediately preceding the one we're in? [Ray's smile vanishes]

Ray

Are you for real?

Neela

Yes! And, in... prison math, I believe, fourteen equals five to ten? [Ray glances around worriedly]

Ray

Where is she?

Neela

Exam Two. And here's the kicker, Jerry Lee: your prepubescent penis-pal has chlamydia.

Ray

I had no idea she was that young!

Neela

Young? She's still teething. Although, I don't know, maybe you enjoy that.

Ray

She didn't say anything, how was I supposed to know?

Neela

Take her out for coffee, converse with her a bit, before you start boffing and handing out house keys!

Ray

I don't card my dates, okay?

Neela

Oh, well maybe it's time that you started.

Ray

1990?

Neela

It was a very good year for Chlamydia.

Neela

I'm sorry.

Ray

Why? Because I talked myself into liking some groupie who turned out to be Hilary Duff with an STD?

Ray

Heard from Gallant?

Neela

Not yet. He got stuck.

Ray

He's still coming home, right?

Neela

Not at the moment.

Ray

Oh, that's cool. [Neela gives Ray a funny look, and he hastily retracts] I mean, too - too bad. But, uh... maybe I can come home now?

Neela

No.

Ray

No?!

Neela

It's actually quite nice without you. That smell hasn't been there since you've been gone.

Ray

But it's my place!

Tony Gates

Got another run, Mayday.

Neela

You can come back on the following conditions: no more dirty dishes in the sink, and no more using the couch as your clothes hamper.

Ray

Didn't I let you move in? [Neela looks at him pointedly] Okay, fine. Done deal. I'm on graveyard, I'll be back in the morning.

Neela

Today was so... terrifying... and amazing. There was no labs, no x-rays, no rapid infusors or cut down trays, just me. Maybe it's the adrenaline, but I feel high. I need to go back out.

Abby

Sounds like I need to call for a psych consult.