Neela Rasgotra quotes from E.R.

Abby

[arguing with Neela trying to get her to stay at the hospital after smoke inhalation] Is there anything, anything I can say to get you to stay?

Neela

I don't think so.

Abby

I slept with Luka!

Neela

Yeah, nice try.

He's hemodynamically stable, with no parataneal signs!

So why'd you call me down here?!

Look, Missy, it's protocol, all right? [Albright turns and approaches him menacingly]

You- didn't- really just call me 'Missy', did you?

[suddenly nervous] Okay, look- the case meets trauma criteria!

Next time, call me when you know what you've got on your hands!

...You should pay more attention to your interns, Red.

Neela

I'm an R2, actually.

Ok, R2. Call me about that surgical elective- we might be able to work something out. [leaves, Morris exhales sharply]

Neela

[about a pregnant Catholic girl whose parents refuse to let her have an abortion] You're the wrong person to talk to about this.

Luka

Excuse me?

Neela

I would like your permission to consult another Attending. [Luka looks at her in confusion] Someone who's not Catholic. [Luka pauses, then steps towards her]

Luka

[quietly angry] Listen to me very seriously. I'm a doctor first, above and beyond anything else- and I don't let my personal beliefs get in the way of a patient's best interests! Ever.

[to Neela about her cookies] Yeah, uhm... After careful consideration from your ER peers, plus Hector in janitorial services...

Frank

Just the feeling is, your cookies are...

Ray

The worst cookies ever made in the history of baking.

Neela

[laughing] Shut up. [long, silent pause, then angrily, while leaving] Bollocks to you all!

[calling after her] The truth hurts!

Abby

Good Lord, what is that?

Luka

What?

Abby

That smell. It's really bad. It smells like... ass.

Neela

You do realize how close you are to the ER?

Mrs. Draper is back for her 27th hospital admission status, post-pancreatic pseudocyst.

Neela

27?

Yes, somebody needs to tell her the hospital stopped giving out frequent-flier miles. Oh, and she's a chronic rectal discomfort, and you two get to work her up and review her old charts.

Neela

All 27?

No, why don't you just forget all about visits 6, 13, and uh, what do you think, 21? Yeah, that should keep it interesting. It'll be like playing patient roulette.

Neela

How's the weather, Frank?

Frank

Hurricane Up Yours is about to hit. What do you want? I'm filing.

Neela

I'm just making small talk. How's it going?

Frank

Am I being punk'd? You never wonder how I'm doing.

Gates

If we have a problem man, just spit it out, 'cause I don't speak bitchy.

Ray

Oh, you seem pretty fluent to me.

Neela

[to Ray and Tony] Why don't you either slap each other silly, or kiss now and get it over with?

Neela

That little tosser just called me a whore.

Abby

She seems so sweet.

Neela

I've never been called a whore!

Abby

Did she say "dirty whore" or "filthy whore"?

Neela

Is there a difference?

Abby

Depends on the whore.

Neela

You called for a consult?

Gates

Actually, I dialed the Hot Surgeons chat line.

Dubenko

Neela, let's go scrub.

Neela

No. I won't be a part of this.

Dubenko

Fine. Shirley, have Crenshaw get me a surgeon who actually wants to operate. You get out of here, Neela. Now.

Abby

Did I mention I hate cheerleaders?

Neela

I hate clowns.

Dawn

I heard Gates was afraid of folk singers.

Gates

Hey Mayday, how's it going?

Neela

Well, my attending thinks I'm a complete idiot, and Crenshaw's back to being a little bitch.

Neela

Why didn't you go to your pediatrician?

He only takes care of little kids. Besides, I think I need a new doctor anyway. Do you know a good GYN?

Gates

What's your damage, Ray?

Ray

[drunk] My damage is that you walked into our E.R. like you owned the place. I don't appreciate that, and nobody else does.

Gates

[smirks] Ray, I realize that you don't like me, but sooner or later you're gonna have to get used to living with me- 'cause I ain't going nowhere.

Ray

You wanna leave a mess wherever you go? That's up to you. But there are two things I will not let you screw around with. That is patient's lives, and-

Gates

And what, Ray?

Ray

[pause, referring to Neela] And her.

Gates

Hey, I care about her, you selfish little piss-head! [Pratt and Morris move forward and try to break them up]

Ray

I bet you almost had yourself convinced about that. But, see, the problem is- is that- you're the only one that buys it!

Pratt

Come on, Ray, let's go sober up-

Gates

Wait, wait, wait. Let me just say, Ray- that thing you guys had in the past? It's over. Finished, done! [Neela appears]

Neela

Tony- [they both look at her, then back at each other]

Ray

You don't know how to take care of her. [swallows the rest of his drink]

Neela

Ray, please-

Gates

[picks up his drinks] Well, Ray- at least I'm trying. [starts to walk away, Morris looks relieved]

Ray

That's right, that's right- like you took care of Meg, huh?