John Carter quotes from E.R.

Carol

Dopamine? Do you want Dopamine?

Carter

I don't know. I don't know. Somebody call a doctor!

Carol

You are the doctor.

Kerry

[about the nurses] They can make your life easier or they can make it miserable. Whatever you did, I suggest you apologize immediately.

Carter

I didn't do anything.

Kerry

Apologize anyway.

So, do you always vomit when you screw up?

Carter

Only when I get written up by the Chief of Staff.

Benton hates my guts.

Carter

No, I think he likes you. He just has difficulty showing it.

Carter

Benton was out of line.

Was he?

Carter

Way out of line.

I felt like punching out the bastard.

Carter

That would have been unwise.

Malik

Whose beeper is that?

Benton

It's coming from the patient.

Malik

[looking at the beeper] Lydia, what number did you page Gant to?

Lydia

This room, 3376.

Malik

That's the number on this pager.

Maggie

[Takes the pager from Malik. Realizes] Oh, my God.

Carter

What?

Maggie

The patient! It's Gant!

Carter

[Beat. Carter takes a closer look at the patient's face.] Dennis? [Benton and Carter look at each other, horrified.] Oh, sweet Jesus.

Carter, what's the difference between a prostate and a garden hose?

Carter

I have no idea.

I'll tell you: There's a vas deferens.

Change in plans. Simon's got the gunshot. We're doing the appy.

Carter

The appy?

Disappointed?

Carter

Yeah. They're kind of boring.

You haven't seen the patient yet.

Carter

Ohhhhhhhh, there is a God.

Carter

I am ready to close.

Nice work, Carter.

Carter

Thanks. Maybe I'll staple my name into his belly.

Carter

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

The usual. Three fried eggs, bacon, glass of buttermilk, toast and jam.

Carter

Ah, the American Heart Association breakfast.

Carter

We removed most of your small intestine. I'm afraid you're not gonna be able to eat solid food again.

Can I drink?

Carter

Yeah, actually.

Smoke?

Carter

If you must.

I'll be fine.

What the hell is going on in here?

Why? What's the problem?

I rejected this patient as a poor surgical risk. Or didn't Dr. Carter tell you?

No, he didn't.

I got a 23 year jump on you, kid. You trying to outflank me?

Carter

No, sir.

What makes you think your judgement is superior to mine?

Carter

I don't. I don't. I thought that the patient...

This has nothing to do with the patient. This is about the practice of medicine. Interns do not make end runs on the chief of staff. I want you in my office at 5 o'clock sharp to discuss your future as a surgeon. If you have any hope on continuing in this program, you will explain your actions with the appropriate degree of contrition and respect and the assurance that nothing like this will ever happen again.

Carter

Dr. Hicks...

Scrub out, Carter.

Carter

Surgeons don't rat on each other. It's like the Marines, "all for one, and one for all."

Maggie

That's the Three Musketeers.

This job is about determining what a patient needs and the best way for us to meet that need and as surgeons, we cut.

Carter

Dr. Anspaugh, as a doctor, if I can find a way to do what my patient wants that's medically acceptable, that's what I should do. I don't believe I should cut somebody open just because I can.

It bothers me that this patient is willing to risk death rather than undergo a simple surgical procedure, but it bothers me even more that you're so willing to help him do that.

What's on your mind, doctor?

Carter

Now? I was hoping for an appointment this afternoon.

There's no time like the present.

Carter

I'd prefer to come back later if that's okay with you.

Are you intentionally trying to irritate me, Dr. Carter?

Carter

No, sir.

Then speak up.

Carter

I've been contemplating leaving the surgical program. I've been considering it for quite some time, and I feel that I've made an error in selecting surgery as my specialty. For the most part, the training has been excellent, but I just feel that ultimately, I don't belong in surgery, and I would suspect that you would agree with me.

I certainly do not!

Carter

You don't?

You entered into a contract, doctor. A contract with this institution. We agreed to give you the finest surgical training in exchange for 6 years of your best effort.

Carter

I understand, but I think....

I do not give a damn what you think! This is not summer camp. You cannot just run home to mommy. You're going to suck it up and stick to it! That's what men do. Are we communicating here?

Carter

Yeah.

Good! And if I ever hear this crap coming out of your mouth again, the only medicine you'll be practicing is picking out a cough suppressant for yourself down at the Jewel.