John Carter quotes from E.R.

Chen

John, could you please help me with a patient?

Carter

Why, is it a procedure you've already done?

Chen

No. It's a guy who's really drunk, smashed his finger in a car door and he's pawing at me. He also smells terrible.

Carter

And you have a problem with that?

Mark

What's Benton doing?

Carter

Out looking for Dr. Dyer. It's about his mother though. Figures if he can't make her better then he'll fix everything else.

Doug

Carter, I think you took one too many Psych classes.

Benton

Thank you.

Carter

Excuse me?

Benton

I said "thank you".

Carter

I know. I just wanted to hear you say it twice.

Benton

I've got a thyroidectomy this afternoon. What do you know about the arteries in the neck?

Carter

Uh, there's a lot of them?

Benton

You have an hour and 25 minutes. I suggest you locate a Gray's and start memorizing it.

Carter

[after he gives Doug a small idol statue] Dr. Ross, a little taste of the islands.

Doug

Carter, you shouldn't have.

Carter

It's Wondoa. He's the god of fertility.

Carol

Just what you need, Doug.

Benton

[to Carter] Just take a deep breath, alright. Need you to stay on your feet here. He's totally dry. Trendelenburg.

Carter

I think I'm going to be sick.

Benton

No, you're not. Internal CPR.

Carol

He's fibrillating!

Dr. Benton

Damn it. Twenty-five clear.

Chuny

Got a beep. Nope, it's gone.

Benton

Fifty. Clear.

Chuny

Asystole.

Carol

Well, that helped a lot.

Malik

Smells kind of like a barbeque in here.

Carter

Oh god. [passes out]

Malik

Ha, ha. Welcome back, Carter.

Benton

Carter, do I look like your father?

Carter

No. Actually, not at all.

I think that's a hickey you have on your neck, Carter.

Carter

Yep, yep...

Carol

Well, you just mouth the words. That’s what I do.

Susan

Well, who sings?

Carol

Well, I’m working on that. [Carter walks by. Carol smiles, pleasantly] Carter!-

Carter

No, no, no, no. Chronic tone deaf and acute stage fright.

Carol

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me....uhhh....

Doug

12 tone-deaf doctors.

Mark

11 lords a lording.

Susan

10 drummers drumming.

Carter

9 something, something.

Lydia

8 maids a milking.

Malik

7 swans a swatting.

6 geese a gagging.

5 golden rings! 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtledoves, and a partridge in a pear tree!

Carter

What do you want from me?

The truth!

Carter

Fine, your wife is dying and she isn't leaving this hospital!

Thank you!

Carter

Ruby... I'm sorry.

Call me "Mr. Roubadoux!"

Carter

[at the funeral] Mr. Rubadoux, I'm very sorry about your wife. I made a mistake. Not in the way I treated her, but in the way I treated you. I wasn't honest, wasn't fair. I was wrong and I am very, very sorry.

This day isn't about you, Mr. Carter.

Mark

So, Carter, you having fun paying your penance in the ER?

Carter

Ha. I'm off Surgical Service. I'm working nights in the ER. What's not to be happy about? Still, it is better than not graduating. I thought Dr. Hicks might suspend me.

Mark

Believe me, she would if she could.

Carter

I can't believe I was that stupid, sneaking off and drinking on call.

Mark

I can. You're a medical student.

Lydia

What do you call the person that finishes last in med school?

Carter

What?

Lydia

Doctor.

Benton

Now you're the doctor. You graduated, right?

Carter

Yeah, that's right, I am. It's kind of weird. I... don't know any more than I knew this morning. I really wanted to graduate, too. Well... Anyway...

Benton

You take care of yourself, Carter.