Hey, jerkoff. You signed him up to judge a stripper contest.
Really? Titties?
It's a stripper contest.
Nice.
S3 E9Vegas Baby, Vegas!
Wait 'til you see dinner. I got ten of the best strippers in town joining us tonight.
Strippers -- why?
Now shouldn't it be "Strippers -- how?" and "Thank you"?
Thank you.
S3 E10I Wanna Be Sedated
[Turtle is irritated with Saigon's absence for an important meeting]
Where the hell is Saigon!?
Maybe he got clipped in a drive-by.
Remember me?
One never forgets their first love, E.
S3 E11What About Bob?
[Vince accompanies Turtle to buying a new pair of shoes and see a long line of people outside the store]
VCVince Chase
I don't get it, all these people are in line for sneakers?
Yeah, some have even camped out all night.
For sneakers?
Vince, these ain't just sneakers. These are limited-edition Fukijamas.
[surprised] Fuki-what?
Ha...Vince, you know sometimes, you're so cultureless? Fukijama is one of the most famous graffiti artists in the world. Every year, Nike commissions him to do a limited drop; 200 pairs this year. After that, he destroys the pattern and never to be made again.
They're holding a pair for you?
Nah, they refuse to do so. It's an unwritten law in America - bring a movie star, go right to the front of the line.
Turtle, are you nuts? They'll kill us if we go to the front of the line.
They'll be thrilled just to get a glimpse of you.
I'm not cutting, Turtle.
BBystander
[clenches fist] Better to be a man of the people, Aquaman.
Vince, these are limited-
Back of the line, Turtle. You're lucky I'm even willing to wait.
[E's phone is ringing just before he and Ari meet a studio exec to sell Bob Ryan's Ramones film script]
[mimics voice prompt] If you need to put your phone on vibrate, it's your first meeting, Press 1.
S3 E12Sorry, Ari
[Ari has failed to get back the I Wanna Be Sedated screenplay from Alan Gray for Vince. Dana Gordon tries to tell him something]
I'm gonna tell you something that you swear it's not gonna come back to me.
As always, hand over heart. You know that.
Ari, please.
I swear.
Alan's not gonna make this movie. He bought it just to spite Vince, and he's gonna stick it in a drawer.
Jesus, he really is crazy.
Mm-hmm.
Why are you telling me this?
Because I hate working for him and I want out. And Ari, come on, I mean, I love this movie. I grew up on the Ramones, and I love it for Vince, so get me on as a producer.
How? It's Alan's movie.
No. Not yet it isn't. They're still negotiating Bob's perk package, so just make sure Bob doesn't sign those papers.
Dana, [kisses her forehead] I have NEVER cheated on my wife, not since she became my wife, but if you wanna jerk me right now in the car, I'm game.
[smiles] Rain check, Ari.
[Ari tries one last gamble to retain Vince as his client after he discovers Vince looking at other agencies. It flops.]
Vince, what are you doing?
Ari, I didn't need the whole dog-and-pony show. I really thought you were different from everyone else.
Vince, I am.
Ari, you do things your own way and you don't give a shit what we think about it.
I do give a shit. You should have seen me today begging and pleading to get that movie back, but it's gone. The past is the past, let's look to the future.
You're unreal. I mean, even after you fuck up like this, you can't even muster the strength to just, as my friend, look me in the face and say "I'm sorry."
That's all you wanted?
That's all I wanted.
Then I'm sorry, Vin.
It's too late.
Vince...
EE
Ari, you're fired.
[to Turtle and Drama] Let's roll.
S3 E13Less than 30
[Ari vents his frustrations at Lloyd seeing the gang watching a Lakers game on courtside seats...with Vince's new agent, Amanda]
The Lakers game, the FUCKING Lakers game?!? Oh Jesus-the house that I built!
Maybe it was his birthday present.
You think? I put him on the court on Arbor Day and that's his present? Gosh, she's so fucking wrong for him?
[While checking out a potential boat for Vince's birthday party, Drama sees a sidewalk ad for Five Towns]
Shit, look at that, another billboard! I'm everywhere!
Spreading like the plague that you are, Drama.
Is that guy look familiar to you?
BOBoat Owner
Huh?
That guy on the billboard, that's me.
BOBoat Owner
Oh, congrats. I can't see that far without my glasses.
[mutters] Ever heard of LASIK?
S3 E14Dog Day Afternoon
[Turtle and Drama scope out some women while walking Arnold at the dog park]
All right. What do you say we start with little miss fluffy-white-poodle over there?
That's not a poodle, turtle. That's a Lhasa Apso.
Whatever. Check out the ass on the broad walking it.
[Ari saves Lloyd from a night out with potential client Jay Lester]
JLJay Lester
You know the old saying, "Fuck Chinese and you're horny again half an hour later" - [Lloyd slaps him to the shock of a nearby crowd]
I'm an American of Chinese descent [pokes Jay] and you are what, Jay? Just another overweight hack TV writer! [leaves with Ari]
[on the way out] Remind me not to get on your bad side, Lloyd.
Ari Gold, you could never.
S3 E15Manic Monday
AAri
Everybody stop. I didn't go to the Lakers game because they're playing the fucking Bobcats. And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate. How to answer a question without a question. Basic Humanity 101. Which, I thought, given your wall of fucking diplomas, you could easily fix. Or if you couldn't, you could give her a pill that would either fix it or make her a mute. But now, to turn around and gang up on me -- I have work to do. I have hundreds of clients to deal with and just so we're clear, I don't care about any of them. They're all just a number, like wife #1 and therapist #7. Good day.
You're really only our fifth.
[Having regained his hire-and-fire mojo from an impromptu session with his marriage therapist, Ari goes back to the office to confront Robby Rubino at the conference room for being so unproductive]
Great work Rob, great work. See if you can read this. [writes GET THE FUCK OUT!!! on white board] You're fired, and in case your ears are fucked, [points the door] GET THE FUCK OUT!!! And the next person I see juggling, tap-dancing, or baton-twirling or doing any other circus-like tricks will join him, alright? One-strike policy applies, now get back to work! Goddamn, that felt good.
BBabs
What happened, Ari?
Shock therapy, Babs. [to employee munching chocolate bar] Skip it Jeannie. [grabs bar]
S3 E16Gotcha
[Drama and Chuck Liddell have a misunderstanding over parking space]
I ain't your friend, tough guy! Yeah, that's right I know who you are, you WWF wannabe. So you get to move your car, or do I get to move it for you?
TLTrista Liddell
[sees father go down to face Drama] Daddy...
CLChuck Liddell
[looks back at her and glares at Drama] You're lucky my daughter's in the car. I'd kick every tooth in your head out.
I'd rip off your foot while you tried.
[intervenes] Whoa, slow down, please don't okay? Sorry about my friend, he didn't take his meds today.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Entourage pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.