[Drama auditions for a role in CSI: Minneapolis]
You look familiar.
APAudition Producer
You auditioned for me a couple of years ago.
Oh, yeah, yeah. How did that go?
APAudition Producer
[pauses] You know...
Yeah, you can't book 'em all.
S1 E8New York
S2 E1The Boys Are Back in Town
[Ari has Vince and 'E' in his office; he's about to tell them about a new movie project.]
You're ready?
Let's go Ari. We're ready, c'mon!
[points to Eric] This kid's got no patience. You know, in some countries they cut off your little elfin feet for disrupting the master's flow.
I'll shove my elfin foot up in your ass!
You missed me, didn't you?
Ari! C'mon!
All right! You're ready? AAAQUAMAN!
Aquaman?
Aquaman, baby!! It is Spiderman... underwater. Boooom!
[Eric and Ari argue over Vince's choice of playing the lead role in Medellin and find out the top prospect for the lead.]
Tom Cruise is going to play Pablo Escobar? C'mon, the guy's not even Hispanic.
Yeah, and Hilary Swank has a vagina, but she won an Oscar pretending she has a dick. That's what actors do. They pretend.
All right, I got it. So what if Cruise passes?
Then they go to Brad Pitt. He passes, they go to Keanu Reeves, and on down the list.
Where is Vince on that list?
He ain't on the list.
Well, how do we get him on the list?
You do Aquaman, you stupid fuck!
S2 E2My Maserati Does 185
Let me get this straight. She convinces you to get these extravagant accommodations and then she bails?
She didn't bail, she got sick. Before the date, unlike your girls, that get sick when they arrive.
Eric [to Vince]: Forget that girl. The only reason she was with me was 'cause I'm your manager.
So? Do you know how much pussy I got in this town that I didn't deserve?
All of it?
S2 E3Aquamansion
[Vince, E, and Ari talk about Aquaman with Warners boss Alan Gray]
AGAlan Gray
Remember, this is the studio that did Batman.
What are we talking about, Burton's Batman or Schumacher's?
[Mrs Ari has caught Ari trying to slip away from the house]
Where are you going, Ari?
I have a meeting.
At the Playboy Mansion? [looks at pajamas sticking out of Ari's slacks]
AAri
Playboy Mansion, strip clubs, whorehouses, I go where the meetings are. It's my fucking job.
I want three weeks in the south of France with the children.
AAri
Oh my God baby, [kisses her] of course you can go.
With you. And if you're not home by 2AM, I'm gonna be standing at the gate screaming "Ari Gold, super agent, forgot his Viagra."
AAri
[contemplates threat] Sounds good.
S2 E4An Offer Refused
[The gang talks about remodelling Vince's newly-bought house]
I think we should turn the pool to face south. Very feng shui.
Just let the fucking professionals handle it, Drama.
[answering "emergency" phone call from Eric during a marriage counseling session] There better be a SCUD missile headed towards Beverly Hills, Eric.
No, it's a fucking iceberg, Ari.
What?
James Cameron's directing Aquaman.
Fuck you. Where'd you hear that, Friendster?
No, I heard it from Josh Weinstein, jerkoff. Now, why don't you get your hand off your dick and go call somebody.
[talking to Lloyd over the phone] I don't care if he's in the Arctic shelf. Get James Cameron on the phone, get Dana Gordon on the phone, tell her assistant that if she does not call me back, I'll fuck her worse than I did in Cabo in '92.
Do you really want me to say that?
Improvise, Lloyd. I'll there in 90 seconds, find out who covers Warners. If all of this is not taken care of, I'll choke you out with a strap-on!
S2 E5Neighbors
[The doorbell rings at Vince's new house]
EE
Who is it?
MMan
Delivery. [E opens door to reveal Bob Saget] Hey, welcome to the neighborhood.
EE
Bob Saget.
SSaget
[sees Vince pass by and gives goods to E] Hey there, Aquaman himself. Been reading about you all morning. [shakes hands with Vince] I live right next door Vin. I'm a big fan. So are my daughters, but do me a favor: don't fuck 'em. Don't you ever fuck my daughters.
Sounds like you might too. But I'll tell you what, Domino's is hiring. Why don't you put that little pizza sign on top of your Maserati. Now that, is comedy.
Yeah, and getting dragged through your office, in front of your entire staff by a guy half your size, Now, that's tragedy [hangs up phone]
S2 E6Chinatown
Chang Chung is the hottest director in Hong Kong. Tarantino has already decided he's the next guy he wants to steal from.
Cool. Guy must be good. Tarantino only steals from the best.
That's right, baby.
[At an X-Box Fight Night tournament, Turtle submits his fake urine sample for drug testing.]
Where do I take the test?
AAttendant
The what?
The drug test. I jacked two bottles of water in the car for this, so can we just get over with this please?
AAttendant
This is X-Box, loser, not the Olympics. We don't get drug tests. If we do, we'd be out of business, idiot. [gang heckles Turtle]
Sucker!
EE
Nice, Turtle.
[laughs and holds sample] What the fuck do I do with this now!!?
Drink it.
S2 E7The Sundance Kids
[Just before the Queens Boulevard premiere, Vince and E see Turtle and Drama try ignore each other]
Come on Drama, what are you thinking, bro?
[brushes off Turtle] Don't talk to me, Turtle. I can't hear you, I can't see you, I don't even wanna know you.
You're yelling, alright?
EE
What's your problem, Drama?
Me and Drama had a little incident.
EE
What kind of incident?
Don't fucking say it, man.
No no, say it.
[long pause] We accidentally crossed swords.
EE
Eww, really?
Really? [laughs] Were there any women in there, at least?
Yeah, dick, it was a threesome. It's no biggie, crossing is an occupational hazard.
[Vince receives a call from Ari]
Oww, what's up?
Vinnie, say hello to James Cameron.
JCJames Cameron
Call me Jim, Vince.
Okay, Jim. What's happening?
CCameron
I could only stay for a bit of the film, but I gotta tell ya, it was all I needed to see. How'd you like to come play Aquaman for me?
Ahh, sure. I could do that for you.
CCameron
Fantastic. Let's get together next week and talk about it.
Okay!
CCameron
See you then, looking forward to it.
Talk to you later, bye. [to gang, giving phone back to E] Cameron just offered me Aquaman.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Entourage pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.