Entourage quotes

Eric

Could you get laid without Vince? That's the question.

Turtle

Do I give a fuck? That's the answer!

That's what good actors do, they listen. Right, Johnny?

Drama

What?

Turtle

Sure, Eric... you had to beg for pussy on prom night.

Eric

Yeah, but I begged my GIRLFRIEND, Turtle... not some $40 hooker who declined my mother's credit card.

[welcoming the guys to a party] Bar's over there. Girls: everywhere.

Who do you work for?

Turtle

Vincent Chase.

He did great.

Drama

Maybe you recognize me. I'm his brother.

No.

I'm sorry, I'm gonna have to ask you not to hold hands. FCC says no overt displays of affection. If you could just separate them, [Vince and Sara Foster separate hands] thank you.

We just had sex about five minutes ago. [crowd cheers]

Turtle

E, the movie's huge bro. Relax, Joanne says its destined to be a classic.

Eric

Oh, Joanne says its destined to be a classic. She's destined to be in a fucking insane asylum!

You're gonna have to work for it.

I got into this business so I wouldn't have to work.

The Earth is moving. Did you feel that? Everything. All the time. Dimensions we can't even see. Everything is evolving. Turtle, you're a dove.

Turtle

That's cool. Can I hit that, Sherp? Thanks.

Eric

You afraid of getting busted?

Busted? I'm entrusted, man. I don't steal. I heal. We're not getting stoned. We're getting honed. My probation officer's one of my best customers. I'm a prisoner. I'm a prisoner of, uh, war. War on Drugs. It's all so negative, man. I mean, the Man's most positive positive-tive is a nega-tive. It's a mega-nega-tive. Right? [shouts] Viking Quest! Let them be low. We are getting high. We're not getting fucked down. We're getting fucked up.

Turtle

These aren't Taiwanese knockoffs are they?

Shauna

Would I do that to you?

Drama

No, those are real goods. Look at the sheepskin. You can tell these babies were born and raised in the Outback.

Ari

Does your boss know you're using his house? [crowd quiets down] 'Cause I put a call into him. He and I went to school together. I helped him cheat on his Economics final. That's how he got his degree, he owes me big-time.

You called my boss?

Ari

Absolutely. You know another class I took at Harvard? Business Ethics. I don't steal other people's motherfucking clients, but in your case I'm going to make an exception. I'm going to take everyone: your B-level sitcom stars, your reality-TV writers...when I'm done with you, you're gonna be repping sideshow freaks. You need Jo-Jo the Dog-Face-Bitch-Boy? Call Josh Weinfuck, the lightweight pen-stealing fuckface. [takes drink from Josh, sips it and throws it away] That's awful.

You are a gut maggot with no guts.

Ari

Geez, you're gonna spin off this planet. I love it!

Johnny Drama

If you play gay or retarded you get an Oscar. I'd take in the ass for an Oscar.

Turtle

You'd take in the ass for a guest spot on The Hughleys.

Johnny Drama

What's the matter? You don't feel good?

I'm a little depressed. I'm getting evicted. I'm late on my rent again.

Drama

How much is rent?

$1,200.

Drama

I got your rent money right here. Let's go swimming.

Turtle

I thought you don't pay for sex.

Drama

I'm not paying for sex. I'm paying her rent, jerk-off.

Turtle

Yeah, right.

Eric

[to Ari] What's wrong with her?

Ari

From now on, you ask for my permission before you bang one of my assistants.

Eric

How'd you know about that?

Ari

'Cause I know all. I could have told you this would end badly. Now I got to fire her so you don't feel weird.

Eric

No, don't fire her.

Ari

Alright, I'll just sexually harass her until she quits.