Entourage quotes

You still there, Adam?

Yup.

Good. You're fired. I'm with Ari now.

Ari

Good Yontiff! [claps hands and breaks off link to Davies] Beautiful work, Zac, beautiful. You are now my new favorite client. I cannot wait to get you a producer credit on College Musical.

That's hilarious, Ari. How about a signing present? Something with four wheels and leather seats?

Lloyd

I'm sorry you feel that way, Ari.

Ari Gold

[over the phone] You're sorry, Lloyd?!?! You have NO IDEA how sorry you're going to be. I am going to destroy you, I am going to ERRODE every fiber of your spirit. You no longer exist, you are dead to me, and the town will know that anyone meeting with you, speaking with you, or even NODDING to you on the street will be dead as well. So die, Lloyd. Die, die, DIE! And when you're gagging on Davies' balls, I want you to bite down so he can die too!

[to E, who's preparing to leave] You know you are really a piece-of-shit liar. You love fucking with me, don't you? You just said this morning that you want to be exclusive so you could use me and pull this shit now. I can't believe I fell for your nice guy act. You are real sick.

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.

And I'm sorry you're a douchebag!

Look, I didn't lie to you about anything. I actually liked you, but you show up at the premiere uninvited, you check my phone, you listen to my messages, you want my emails? [Ashley squirms in seat] You say you are not crazy, but all signs point to the contrary. I'm sorry. [Leaves restaurant]

I got you a blueberry grand muffin from the Belwood Bakery, 'cause I was told it's your favorite. [walks together with Ari]

Ari

It is...[gets muffin from paper bag] except this is cranberry. [Matt is flabbergasted] See the red berries? [shoves muffin and paper bag in Matt's face]

Um, I asked for blue-

Ari

Did you check?

No.

Ari

Bye, Matt. [leaves him behind]

So, back to Human Resources?

Ari

Back to the Iowa farmhouse that breastfed you 'til 15!

Turtle

I think you're overreacting.

[packs up things for her New Zealand assignment] You do? You know how many people requested to be my friend? I didn't accept them all!

Turtle

I didn't want to be rude.

This is really convenient timing, don't you think?

Turtle

No this is terrible timing, 'cause now you're gonna leave all upset.

Sorry for your guilt!

Turtle

Jamie please, this is hard enough for me already, could you please trust me and forget about it?

I know I'm forgetting something.

Turtle

Jamie, you have everything. I looked under your bed, opened every drawer. Just wanna make sure you and I are okay.

Then delete her!

Turtle

Delete her?

Yeah! Take her off your friends list.

Turtle

[accesses FB on iPhone and deletes girl] Done. Feel better?

Not really.

Turtle

Jamie, come on.

Do you want me to go?

Turtle

No, I don't want you to go! This is gonna be a great opportunity. It's gonna be amazing for you.

[sits on bed, teary-eyed] You're really going to miss me?

Turtle

Baby, don't cry. I'll be waiting right here for when you get back. [Jamie hugs him]

Is it true? Do you want to destroy these people, Ari?

Okay, yes. If I could GOUGE OUT Terrance McQuewick's eyeballs and eat them for what he did to me, I would. And I would sell that Benedict Arnold Adam Davies into white slavery if we lived in a place that had a market for it. And LLOYD, that little queen, who I welcomed into my home and allowed to play with my children and care for my dog and who left me for those two scumbags, I would tie him up and allow the entire Screen Actors Guild to anally rape him if not for the fact that I'd know he would enjoy it. I hate them all, and yes, I want to see them destroyed. But that is not why I want this company. I want - no, I need - this company, because it's good business. It's good goddamn business and if I don't buy it, someone else will and that will be very very bad for my business. And my wife, of all people, should know, that when it comes to business, my judgment is never clouded, so please [pleads to Mrs Ari] please support me like you always have, and I will deliver for us, like I always have.

So, what do you think?

I think it was a good speech.

Yeah.

Do what you need to do, Ari.

Really?[Mrs Ari nods] I love you. [Kisses Mrs Ari then to therapist] Can we fuck in here?

Why is it so selfish 'cause I'm tryin' to tell you i wanna be with you?

Sloan

[gets out of car and walks away] Because last time you convinced me it was forever, you took off with your buddies five minutes later!

I'm sorry, I was trying to get my business going!

Sloan

You took me for granted.

[blocks her] I know!

Sloan

Eric, why are you doing this to me?

Because I love you.

Sloan

I will not get lured back into this. I can't trust you! You love to have a girlfriend, but on your terms! You're never gonna be able to commit, not to anyone!

That is not true, I will commit to you right now!

Sloan

Eric, STOP!

I swear to God, I'm gonna marry you.

Sloan

[sarcastic] You'll marry me?

Yes, I'm gonna get into that car right now, drive to Vegas and commit to you for the rest of my life.

Sloan

Really? Have you even thought about this?

Yeah. I have, and this time I swear on my life, it'll be forever. [presents engagement ring]

Ari

Even with a million-man army you sometimes have to do the grunt work yourself. Saddam Hussein had to hang a few without his assistants.

Drama

They gave me a holding deal!

Ari

The guy who grills my hot dogs at Carney's had a holding deal in 1978.

What do you think of the name the LA Gold?

Lizzie

I like it.

I love it!!

Lizzie

Congratulations!

Congratulations to you! Huh? [embraces Lizzie and begins dancing with her] You killed it in there by the way! Maybe I'll make you a cheerleader there, who knows?

Lizzie

I prefer a GM.

Whatever you want ... [sees Mrs Ari come in] You won't believe it, baby.

Hello, I am Ari's wife.

Drama

Look, E, I know we've had our ups and downs but I want you to know I appreciate this.

Eric

Have we had downs?

Drama

No, but we probably will if we work together.

Drama

That's not my hat, is it bro?

The slut that ruined your best friend's career and marriage is still working in your office and if that was not enough, for some reason you were spinning her around like you just won Dancing with the Stars.

Why, I-

Why were you spinning her around?

I just got the call from the NFL and I was excited. I have dreamt since I was a little kid of owning a football team. I would have spun Lloyd around if he was in front of me - and if I could lift him.

I don't like that girl, Ari, and I don't like her one bit! I still don't understand why you didn't fire her last year.

If I was gonna fire anyone it should have been Andrew.

You know what? Maybe you should have fired them both.

Ari Gold

Lizzie, can I talk to you for a second?

Lizzie Grant

About what, Ari?

Ari

I was hoping that we could part on good terms.

Lizzie

[snickers] you can go fuck yourself, Ari.

Ari

Now is that nice? I'm preparing a nice severance package for you.

Lizzie

Wow.

Ari

You don't want me angry when I'm writing you a check?

Lizzie

No, I don't. What I want you to do Is shove that severance package up your fucking ass.

Ari

If you were my daughter -

Lizzie

If I was your daughter I would blow my fucking brains out. Look, Ari, you might think I'm some sort of cute little pushover, but you screwed me and I am going to do everything I can to pay you back.

Ari

Is it that time of the month for you, Lizzie? Because I think that your hormones are making your brain forget who you are threatening!!

Lizzie

You don't scare me, Ari, not even a little bit.

We've been over this, Scott. You and I don't run Vince. I run Vince.

Lavin

You are unbelievable. Are you really worried that I'm gonna steal your client?

He's not just my client, he's my best friend since I'm five years old.

Lavin

Oh, so you're worried I'm gonna steal your best friend? I'm worried you're gonna steal my best friend. You can't compete with me there, Eric! I'm way more fun than you are. I'm single. You are old and an almost-married man. Let youth be served!

Will you listen to yourself? You're such an idiot. I'm trying to be polite, Scott, But it's getting harder and harder. Stay out of my way.