Manny Rivera quotes from El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera

[revealing himself on the TV screen after his guacamole monster takes over Rodolfo and Grandpapi] So, El Tigre, we meet again.

And you are… who?

Dr. Chipotle Jr. Son of Dr. Chipotle Sr.

Doesn't ring a bell.

Frida

He saved us all from the evil guacamole!

Rodolfo

Thank you, Man- wait, what evil guacamole?

Frida

Duh. The free stuff we got from that creepy old lady so Manny could use your money to buy the tattoo maker. [realized what she said; disappointed] Dang!

Rodolfo

Manuel Pablo Gutierrez O'Brian Equihua Rivera, what is going on here?!

Frida

We can explain everything. See, there were these aliens, and then they grabbed my face…

[sighs with guilt] No, Frida. It's time to tell the truth. [45 minutes later…] And worst of all, I made you guys miss the big game.

Rodolfo

So, you stole money from me and you lied. But, you also risked your life to save us and then told the truth. [thinks for a second] Let's see, what would be an appropriate punishment?

Manny

[as Frida and Zoe both glare angrily at each other] What? You still mad at her?

Frida

[turns to Manny] Duh! Remember the finger-paint thing? [Flashback to Kindergarten where she is carrying some paint before Zoe purposely trips her, causing her to fly across the room, screaming; two paint cans tip her goggles and one entirely covers her in green paint, and she cries, scaring the other kids away] And the "kick-me" thing? [Another flashback to where she dodges Zoe and she slaps a piece of paper reading, "Kick me", behind her back as she walks into the Karate room, unnoticed, and a riot is heard from the other side; Final flashback shows her tapping on her locker and a bear pops out and attacks her] And the savage bear attack thing?!

Manny

Ah, you gotta let that stuff go, Frida.

Frida

Also, she once told everyone at school you had a perm.

Manny

[gasps in shock, then viciously enraged] SHE MUST PAY! [on the last word with a fiery background]

Frida

Forget about Zoe. We got party prep to do.

[as Black Cuervo runs past him and Mrs. Chichita after saving her] Hey! Nobody crashes grandmommies in my town, you fiendish… [Black Cuervo stops and stares at him with a glare as the camera zooms in on her face] Girl?

[whispering from outside Frida's house] Frida!

Frida

[wakes up and gets up from her bed to the window; whispering] Where have you been?!

I'm only six hours late.

Frida

You're two days and six hours late! The party is tomorrow. Now go home! [turns off the lights and goes back to sleep]

Frida? Frida? [shouting] FRIDA!

Emiliano

El Tigre! My daughter may NOT receive visitors after 8 P.M.!

Manny

Uh, Frida? I brought you the piñata.

Frida

You did? Oh, Manny, I knew… [shocked to see Manny's poorly made piñata] This is my awesome birthday piñata?

Manny

Ye…abe?

Frida

Pretzels and a dirty sock?!

Manny

It still needs some fine-tuning.

Frida

Where have you been the last two days?! What kind of piñata is this?! WHAT'S THE SQUARE ROOT OF NINE?!

Manny

[confused] Square root?

Frida

I need help with my math homework, which you would know if you were any kind of friend!

Manny

If you were any kind of friend, you'd know… [takes off his eye patch and throws it on the ground, angrily] I STINK AT MATH!

Frida

You just plain STINK!

You gonna take that, Manny?

Manny

Hey, if you're such a great friend, why'd I make you such a lousy piñata?

Frida

Well, since you're no kind of friend, you… you're… UNINVITED to my party! [gasps as she covers her mouth]

[seeing Frida wearing the belt buckle he made for her as an early birthday present] You're wearing the belt buckle?

Frida

My best friend made it for me.

No one can help you now, chica!

Black Cuervo

Think again, hero! [opens a slot on her wrist brace with a red button inside and pushes it; sound effect of a bird's cry echoes, Lady Gobbler and Voltura fly into sight, landing on both sides of her; They grab both her hands and fly off; vowing with vengeance] Party while you can, El Tigre! I shall have my revenge on you! VENDETTA!

Manny

[searching through the garbage can] Oooh! A broken yo-yo! Buffalo jerky! [gasps] And two doorknobs.

Frida

Behold! Perfectly good roller skates made from household garbage.

Manny

It's like my dad says, [imitating Rodolfo] "You don't need money to have fun."

Frida

I even made a safety gear.

Manny

Now all we need is another pair of skates.

Frida

Pssh. We don't need anything!

Manny

This is gonna be awesome if we survive.

And on the right of the plane, you can see Manny and Frida about to do something stupid.

Manny

So, all that work really paid off.

Frida

Your dad was totally wrong. You do need money to have fun. LuxeBlades, reverse somersault!

Manny

LuxeBlades, give a beat, low rider style.

Manny

[playing a video game system while riding the Luxe Scooter] This video game is so realistic!

Frida

Yeah, they totally got my goggles right.

Manny

Luxe Scooters! Could anything be better?

Something is better. Changing course to nearest "Luxeteria." [Manny and Frida's Luxe Scooters change courses to the nearest Luxe shop and inside is an even newer product] Behold, the LuxePod.

[amazed] Ooh!

The LuxePod. A self-contained leisure, relaxation, and entertainment environment.

Manny

It has video games from the future!

Frida

It has a built-in toilet!

Manny

Where are we gonna get the money? We've found, stolen, and returned every pet in Miracle City.

Frida

There's got to be a way to get it, 'cause we've gotta get Luxepods! [looks at the missing poster of Taco as the winds unfolds it, revealing the price from $100 to $100,000] Santa Claus!

Manny

Okay, that's enough money. We are going to Calavera! [changes into El Tigre]

You like a hot dog, señor?

The only dog I'm looking for is a taco.

We're all looking for a taco, compadre. And I think we're hungrier than you.

Manny

I think we did the right thing. Like my dad says, [imitating Rodolfo] "You don't need money to have fun."

Frida

And check it out, I still have these. [takes out the household garbage-made roller skates she kept]

Manny

This is gonna be awesome if we survive!

[chanting] Matadors! Matadors! Matadors! [they get beaten up by another team off-screen and return, all battered and bruised; chanting weakly] Matadors, Matadors, Matadors.

Rodolfo

Referee! That team is not of middle school age!

Manny

Dad, how can we win the championship for Miracle City if we're the only team in the league that doesn't cheat?

Rodolfo

[kneels down] Now, Manny, wouldn't you rather lose with honor than win with dishonor?

Manny

Oh, well... What was the question again?

Grandpapi

[sighs] What has become of my Matadors? When I played, we beat every team in the league.

General Chapuza

[laughs] Not every team.

Grandpapi

Aye! [darkly] General Chapuza, you old nemesis, you.

General Chapuza

Your Miracle City Matadors have never beaten my Calavera Zombies. And this year will be no different. Especially with me coaching a team led by my grandson, Che.

Grandfather, when may I torment and destroy the Matadors?

General Chapuza

[patting his grandson's head] Soon, my grandson, soon. [he and his grandson leave, both laughing evilly]

Grandpapi

This year, the Matadors will defeat the zombies! THIS I SWEAR!

Manny

So, let me get this straight. If you cheat, you win. If you don't cheat, people throw rocks at you?

Rodolfo

Rocks of honor.