Manny Rivera quotes from El Tigre: The Adventures of Manny Rivera

Manny

I couldn't do it. As much as I wanted that trophy, honor was more important.

Rodolfo

Yes, mijo. And someday, people will respect you from this decision. But for now… [dashes away] RUN!!!

Manny

Sancho Panza! Free toilet paper! [laughs deviously; later… uses all the toilet paper to cover City Hall] Ah, it's a thing of beauty.

NO! It is a thing of ugly! Clean… now!

Manny

I am here to help. I am here to help.

Frida

Dude, that's starting to creep me out.

[talking to Aaron; sweetly] Aaron, you haven't done your homework in weeks. [sternly] This is it! Turn in your assignment tomorrow, or you will be EXPELLED!!!

No more school? Wow, thanks.

[serious] Young man, you need help.

[to a blonde haired boy as he's about to have a sloppy joe] You are wearing new white shirt and are about to eat a sloppy joe. To keep your shirt clean, from now on you will eat only crackers. Flavorless, dry crackers! [then to a punk haired boy, who's struggling to open a jar of hair dye] Lack of muscle tone is unhealthy. Do 10,000 push-ups... A day! [the boy starts doing push-ups; to a brown boy, playing with a yo-yo] Stop wasting time with that yo-yo and do something constructive, like... [tosses him a banjo] Learn to play the banjo! Play better! [to a blonde girl while hanging upside down] And you. High heels are bad for your arches. TAKE 'EM OFF! [the girl quickly takes off her high heels; to everyone in the school] El Tigre is here! To… HELP! [echoes]

Frida

Manny, you can't force people to change. But you're not doing it to me, so who cares, right? All right, let's get going.

Going?

Frida

Yeah, me and the Atomic Sombreros are doing a lunch concert, remember?

This band thing is going nowhere, Frida. You need to give it up and learn something practical, like how to tap dance!

Frida

[gasps in shock] Give up my band?! Wait, now you are doing it to me!

[shaking irately] I said… LEARN TO TAP DANCE! [smiles and leaves]

Somebody should really do something about that guy, huh?

Frida

Yeah. Somebody should. [later in a closet, she assembles all the students for a meeting] People, I want Help-zilla out, and the old Manny back. And Sergio here has an idea how we can do it.

[stepping in] I believe I know someone who can help. Someone who can… show El Tigre the error of his ways.

Frida

Like a counselor, right?

[laughs] Yes. A counselor. [starts laughing maniacally] Uh, I, uh, I just remembered a joke.

[examining his statue] Man, I look good.

You look like a BULLY!

[turns around, seeing Frida and all the other students angrily facing him] Frida? What is this?

Frida

[sternly] Manny, there's someone I want you to talk to. Where's Sergio's friend?

[drops down in front] Here!

Frida

Ooh, this may have been a mistake.

It's over, pardner! No more bullying these fine-a folks!

Bullying them? I was helping them. Right, guys? [the other students tear down his statue] I thought I was doing good.

Frida

Pst.

Manny

You would say that.

Frida

I swear I didn't mean for this to happen, Manny. You've gotta help us.

Manny

I was helping. How could you do this to me? Don't you know you can't force people to change?

Frida

Yeah, I know that. Do you?

Manny

Of course, I- [realizes] Oh… This, this is all my fault.

Frida

Yep.

Manny

I need my belt.

Manny

[anxious to win] Oh, I've gotta win! Taking care of Zebra Donkey is my destiny! We have so much in common. It's like, we're the same guy.

Frida

That's beautiful, dude. But I hope you sold a lot of raffle tickets.

Manny

I sold a few.

And now, our Zebra Donkey winner is... [rips open the envelope as Manny crosses his fingers] MANNY RIVERA!

Manny

[screams in excitement and runs around outside the school, whooping, and runs back inside] WOW! I just wanna say, I'm gonna give Zebra Donkey the best Zebra Donkey week of his Zebra Donkey life! He'll remember it as long as he lives!

Manny

[places a flower on Zebra Donkey's grave; breaking down, tearfully] It is as if, I have lost a brother. A striped, long-eared brother. And it's all my fault!

Frida

Um, Manny? The Zebra Donkey fiesta spectacular is tomorrow.

Manny

[shouting angrily] THIS IS NO TIME TO TALK ABOUT PARTIES! [calms down] I'm sorry, I just need some time to grieve.

Manny

Okay, we need a plan B.

Frida

Hypnosis. Time machine. Pixie dust.

Frida

[holding Sartana's guitar] Are you sure about this?

Manny

[kneeling down on Zebra Donkey's grave; desperately] I gotta get Zebra Donkey back! He's my best… [realizes] my second best friend.

Frida

Nice save, dude.

Frida

Looks like this is actually gonna work out.

Manny

Of course. All we did was use evil magic to violate the laws of nature. What could go wrong?

[appearing; savagely] THIEVES!

Frida

[to Manny; annoyingly through gritted teeth] Never say, "What could go wrong?"

[gets back her mystic guitar and summons her skeleton banditos] Steal from me and give me a bad makeover?! You will PAY!

Frida

Manny, you've gotta smash Sartana's guitar. It'll make her crumble to dust, and her banditos!

And Zebra Donkey!

Frida

Oh, yeah.

I can't lose him again! I just can't! There has to be another way!

Frida

Hypnosis. Time machine. Pixie dust.

Zebra Donkey sacrificed himself…

Frida

To save us all.

Manny

You ready for this?

Frida

I was born ready.

Emiliano

Frida!

Frida

Dad?

Emiliano

Don't do this thing. I forbid you!

Frida

Papa, if you love me, you'll let me go... to the Miracle City carnival!

Emiliano

Oh, don't worry, mija. We will find you a new best friend... A better one.

Manny

So I told her, she'd be safer if we weren't friends anymore.

Rodolfo

I feel your pain, my son. Lonely is the path walked by a hero.

Grandpapi

Or villain.

Rodolfo

Speaking of villains, who is the dastardly beast who attacked you and caused this pain?

Manny

Some little guy with metal arms, said he knew you.

Grandpapi

[covered in coffee; annoyed] Why must you take big sips?!