Ed Season 2 quotes

[to Carol] I brought that girl to the party because I was trying to make you disposable... I couldn't.

Ed

Boxes were made of steel back when I was a kid and everything cost a nickel.

Mike

[giving Nancy advice on being a substitute teacher] Wear sturdy pants tomorrow. You're gonna need 'em.

Ed

If you think parading two goons in fifteen hundred dollar suits is enough to intimidate me, then you are being stunningly foolish.

[on what makes him miserable] For me, it's the insult of not being able to legally purchase a fine cigar.

Phil

I know the gang thinks its adorable to call you ‘Molls' but to keep everyone within earshot from vomiting, I'm gonna stick with 'Molly'.

[to Carol, when she tries to convince the band to not play at the funeral] I'm sorry, Yoko, but you don't get a vote in this.

Down is up, left is right, and Logic is on a ski vacation with his buddy Reason.

[in a tattoo parlor] I feel like I'm gonna get hepatitis just standing here.

Warren

[to Jessica, as she is dumping him] Jess, come on. Throw a dog a bone.

Shirley

Good luck finding the beautiful psychotic lady. Toodle-oo.

Molly

I never thought that knowing how to play the recorder could be such a liability.

Life is about opening doors...to new places, new people, new opportunities.

Ed

What kinds of opportunities have you gotten by acting like a raving lunatic?

Warren

Your fickle friends Who, What Where, Why and When can fly you to the moon one day and leave you high and dry and begging for mercy the next.

Warren

[on Dennis] He's a very unpredictable man, with the temperament of a jungle cat, I might add.