[to Carol] You and I are just left with night after night of empty, physical pleasure.
S2Goodbye Sadie
For the first time in my life, I'm giving off pheromones! Thick, billowing clouds of pheromones!
Seriously, Ed. I owe you big time. You're my dog!
S2Charity Cases
[when Mike says they must kick bad habits for Sarah`s sake] You were eating a pop tart naked, so I can't watch E! News Daily?!
I'm still fine tuning the egg to nog ratio.
[indulging Mike`s new cultural side] Welcome home, Michael, would you like a crumpet?
[on why he needs so much clothes] Pants and back up pants.
Giving should never hurt. You should just give until it feels good.
S2Small Town Guys
You scared the Steak-ums out of me!
[while wearing a Dr. Jerome costume] I just thought since that buffalo-brained husband of yours wasn't here, you'd like to get it on with one Dr. Walter Jerome.
[to Ed] If it's any consolation at all, I think you look damn cute in the bowling shirts.
JLJudge LaRue
[reprimanding Gary Saringo] What law school did you go to TV boy?
S2Two Days of Freedom
[regarding Outback Steak Houses] What does steak have to do with Australia? It's like the Greenland Spaghetti House.
[to Dennis] You know, there IS something that's special about you. You're the last jerk I'm ever going to date.
Sometimes it's not easy for boys and girls to be friends. And I know because it's not easy for me, either.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ed pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.