Ed quotes

Nancy

You scared the Steak-ums out of me!

Mike

[while wearing a Dr. Jerome costume] I just thought since that buffalo-brained husband of yours wasn't here, you'd like to get it on with one Dr. Walter Jerome.

Carol

[to Ed] If it's any consolation at all, I think you look damn cute in the bowling shirts.

[reprimanding Gary Saringo] What law school did you go to TV boy?

Mike

[regarding Outback Steak Houses] What does steak have to do with Australia? It's like the Greenland Spaghetti House.

Carol

[to Dennis] You know, there IS something that's special about you. You're the last jerk I'm ever going to date.

Carol

Sometimes it's not easy for boys and girls to be friends. And I know because it's not easy for me, either.

[to Carol] I brought that girl to the party because I was trying to make you disposable... I couldn't.

Ed

Boxes were made of steel back when I was a kid and everything cost a nickel.

Mike

[giving Nancy advice on being a substitute teacher] Wear sturdy pants tomorrow. You're gonna need 'em.

Ed

If you think parading two goons in fifteen hundred dollar suits is enough to intimidate me, then you are being stunningly foolish.

[on what makes him miserable] For me, it's the insult of not being able to legally purchase a fine cigar.

Phil

I know the gang thinks its adorable to call you ‘Molls' but to keep everyone within earshot from vomiting, I'm gonna stick with 'Molly'.

[to Carol, when she tries to convince the band to not play at the funeral] I'm sorry, Yoko, but you don't get a vote in this.

Down is up, left is right, and Logic is on a ski vacation with his buddy Reason.