Ed, Edd n Eddy · Season 1
Don't touch that dial, kids!
Good Afternoon, Peach Creek Jr. High. This is your principal speaking with a very important announcement. All copies of student Eddy's photographs are to be returned to him immediately. This will leave to comply a well-warned detention for the rest of the semester. Thank You.
Bummer.
You heard the man.
Did I just do that? I did, didn't I? I just impersonated the Principal! Made false declarations in his name! Ohhh what have I done?
The sky is falling! The sky is falling, Eddy! It hit me on the head. It did.
You're probably just growing a brain there, lumpy.
We hit the sky?! [the sky cracks] This isn't possible!
[A "piece" of the sky falls]
Ed was right, the sky is falling.
Thank you very much.
So, now what do we do?
I'm afraid we're just about to find out, Eddy.
[offscreen] Go on, get in there.
Um...good morrow to thee. I'm about to share with thou fellow villagers the tale of Fort Peach Creek. Let us–begin, shall we?
I hate public access.
A long time ago, Peach Creek was buteth an untamed wilderness of towering trees, torrid waters, and savage beasts!
Cock-a-doodle doo! I am a salvaged moose! Bleaugh!
Oh, regardeth over the horizon, for the hero of our epic tale doth approach!
I have come from afar and shall claim this wilderness as our own! Hark ye, o' savage moose, moveth along, or be turned into moose chops! Hear ye?
This landeth is your landeth o' great shorteth one.
Yes, this land is fulleth of peachy fuzzy fruits, and for this reason I claimeth this place as Fort Peach Creek!
And...there...you'll...haveth...it.
Cock-a-doodle doo!
HEY! HE'S! HAD! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Beat it.
Good one, Eddy.
Vultures.
It's mine! Gimme my donut! I saw it first!
Eddy, calm down. You know you're only encouraging him. Oh, Eddy. Now look what you've done!
YOWCH!
Goodness gracious! Have you two no respect for the sanctum of school property? Honestly, I– Oh, um, I withdraw my last statement. No harm done, yes?
What you got there?
Nothing. Righto. Let's say we make our way to–
School dance, tonight? How'd we miss this?
Isn't it a shame? Why, if only we had known sooner. Oh well. There's always next year.
Only losers stay home on a school dance night, and we ain't losers. Right, Ed?
Sure ain't, Eddy.
Check this out.
"Win a date with Eddy! Sign up here!"? You're not seriously thinking of going to this- Do you realize that it's customary for a boy to ask a girl to attend?!
[To Jonny] I'D RATHER DATE A FROG, BALDY!
Whaddya mean I shoulda ate a breathmint, Plank?
Asking's for chumps, Double D. My brother told me really cool guys ride solo, so they ain't stuck with the same chick all night. C'mon! I got something that'll knock your socks off!
Missed too many laundry days for that, Eddy. My socks and me are as one.
GOOD LORD! Stinky stinky stinky.
Way to bust a move, Double D. Let's twist.
Hey, that's my move he busted. He didn't even want to be here.
Like this, Double D. Let's boogie! Whee!
[To Kevin] Way to get burned, Shovelhead.
You gonna let that hussy steal your man, Marie?
[grabbing Eddy] Get up, shorty. We're dancing. Quick, he's looking. Make like an octopus and suck face.
Wilfred sure has some fancy footwork, huh, Jonny?
Ed-boy, you have broken the customary laws of Rolf's traditions. You must first ask permission if you shimmy-shake the swine. Have you no shame?
Hey!
[Lee forms Ed into a mallet]
Get your claws off my man, Marie.
"How 'bout you get your claws off my man, boyfriend-stealer!
[Sarah is demonstrating to Jimmy how to make snow angels]
Okay, I get it now, Sarah. [tries to make one] I pulled my funny bone, Sarah.
Hibachi Man makes his daring escape! The Barbecue Belly Slide!
[Ed slides on his belly, rushing down the sidewalk at Jimmy and Sarah]
Ed! You idiot! You lunkhead! Look what you did to Jimmy!
[laughing] You're a laugh and a half, Ed!
Goodness! You really should exercise more caution, Ed.
That'll make my thighs burn, Double D.
If only someone could address the true reality of wintertime hazards. We would all be much more–
Not that again. Nobody wanted to hear about it last year, or the one before that and no one wants to hear about your stupid safety club idea this year.
Safety club? No more winter owies?
[Eddy gets hit with a snowball thrown by an off-screen Ed. He scoops up a big pile of snow]
Better make a will, Ed.
I believe that if a few thoughtful safety guidelines were set into play, winter would be a much safer time of year for all.
Tell me more, Double D.
You better not drop that.
What is it?
A poopdeck?
Not quite, Ed. This is an official Safety Club de-icer machine. Using the salt off of discarded cafeteria pretzels, we can render treacherous icy footpaths safe.
Salt is like magic.
Ironic, isn't it? Us being singled out as a liability.
What the–? My tongue's stuck to the stupid ice, and I gotta go to the bathroom!
Do not fear, Eddy! Hibachi Man is here! Right, Double D?
Yes. Release this tongue-troubled citizen with your blast-furnace breath, Hibachi Man.
Hey! Wait a minute, Ed! Hey, I don't gotta go anymore.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Ed, Edd n Eddy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
