Ed quotes from Ed, Edd n Eddy

Rolf

Hello, Ed-boys. When is the next sailing? My flesh begs me for sun and sweat. [Edd hands him the deflated inner tube] What? Huh?

Edd

I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be enjoyable.

Eddy

Alas, the sea is a cruel mistress.

Ed

I'm stumped.

Jimmy

[floating by in the background] Hair emergency! Hair emergency!

Eddy

What we have here...is a squirt gun.

Edd

Please. A 'squirt gun'?

Eddy

Yeah. A Canadian squirt gun.

Ed

Canadians are weird.

Eddy

Ed! What are you doing in my bed?

Ed

I can't sleep, Eddy. I keep thinking; how can my feet smell if they don't have a nose?

Eddy

Ed, get out of my room!

Ed

Ow, my buttocks hurt. [looks at the lava lamp] Why does goo float?

Eddy

Hit the road! [Ed eats it] Wha? My lamp!

Ed

Eddy, why don't birds just take a bus south for the winter? Eddy, when you close the fridge door, does the little light stay on?

Eddy

Go home!

Ed

Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. Hello light. [in the morning] Eddy, carrots are good for your eyes, can it dial a phone?

Eddy

If you're gonna strain your peanut brain think of something more important. Like...how to get your face on a dollar bill.

Ed

Eddy, why is someone in the kitchen with Dinah?

Eddy

Uh, Double D up yet?

Eddy

[pulling out a bra from an old dresser] Woo hoo. PG-13.

Ed

That's my mom's, Eddy.

Eddy

Eddy, you're the man with the scam. You're the big... Uh... [falls down the stairs]

Ed

[talking to Nazz] So if I join you at the party, can I be a tarantula? Or maybe a salamander?

Eddy

Party? Wait! Hey! I'm stuck! Ed! Don't forget Cockroach Eddy.

Ed

I think I swallowed a turtle.

Eddy

What country are we in?

Edd

We're home, Eddy. And we've broken everything but a record.

Ed

Can I wear a dress again?

Ed

Room for one more!

Kevin

Touch me with that broom and I'll tear off your eyebrow.

Ed

Can I shave them?

Edd

Ed, you don't shave coconuts, you eat them.

Ed

Like report cards?

Ed

Um, Double D, what's this do?

Edd

That's just a coat hanger, Ed.

Ed

Oh. Mum's the word.

Ed

Oh, cool. This reminds me of the movie "Zombies From The Deep Freeze: A cash cow". This is the part where we'll be torn to pieces, stuffed into ice cube trays, and frozen and used to cool their drinks.

Edd

Non-alcoholic, I hope.

Ed

Jib made you presents.

Presents?

Eddy

I hate Jib.

Eddy

[to Ed, about Sarah] If she told you to go jump in a lake with a rock tied to your head, and wait for naked photos of you to be developed, so she can hand them out to all the kids in the cul-de-sac, would you?

Ed

I had socks on, Eddy.

Eddy

Why don't you Kankers get lost?

Ed

And forget about any lovey-dovey stuff.

Lovey-dovey.

Eddy

Ed, you dolt.

Eddy

Hit the road. [flicks a spider off the doorknob. It falls off, rolls across the floor and falls into a hole]

Edd

Tell me that didn't happen.

Ed

It didn't happen.

Ed

[takes out a bottle of mustard from his jacket and squeezes it and a pencil pops up] Alley oop. Here's your mustard, Double D.

Eddy

He asked for a pen.

Ed

He asked for mustard. Do you have corn in your ears, mister?