A suit, annoying? I spent two hours counter-balancing chains, and all you can come up with is a suit?
EddyWhat's with you? It was the most annoying thing I could think of.
Eddy
Exactly.
Well I suggest something a little more on topic. Anchovies. The person who invented this smelly salty fish dish should have been imprisoned for the rest of their life. [to Jonny] Open wide please.
I smell something fishy. [dodges]
Please, Jonny. [Jonny laughs and dodges again] Please, Jonny.
Plank says fish is– [Edd stuffs the spoon full of anchovies in his mouth and brushes his teeth with it]
I glued a block of wood to Jonny's foot.
Ed, why did you glue a block of wood to Jonny's foot? And why these chains? And why the suit? Why Jonny?
Eddy
Jonny. People really like it when you say WHY ALL THE TIME!
They do? Why? Why? Why? Why?
And people really like it when you poke 'em on the head.
Eddy
Cut it out, Ed.
Okay. I dare you, Eddy, to sprout the wings of a bat and stomp like a zombie while whistling Row, Row, Row Your Boat through a car wash.
Ed, try a more reasonable dare, please.
Okay, I dare Eddy to be Double D.
Eddy act like me? Why, that's–
Eddy
Stupid, Ed. You blew your chance to–
Y'know, Eddy. It could be quite intriguing. Why, I'd be flattered if you were to mimic me.
Eddy
Let's see, where do I start? [mimicking Double D] The wind conditions are absurd. The lean is too steep for the fat.
[Double D chuckles]
Eddy
[pretends to strain to budge the bottle, unable to move it an inch] Oh, dear. The unsanitary. My skinny arms cannot bear the weight. Oh oh I know. I'll move it with my brain.
[sarcastically] Ha, ha, ha. Very good, Eddy. [spins the bottle] Can we resume playing? [the bottle settles on him] Oh dear.
Eddy
Ha! I dare ya to be Ed. Go on, flatter him.
Well, I suppose I could, but only if Ed will be Eddy.
I can do Eddy, I practiced. Can it, Double Dweeb!
Eddy
Whaddya mean you practiced?
Eddy
Please, Eddy. You're invading my personal space.
[The Eds laugh]
Eddy
Well?
Eddy
We're waiting.
Very well. Uh, let's see now. [manipulates his face so his eyes are spread out across his face] Buttered toast.
[The Eds laugh again]
[has fallen through the open manhole] Sarah!
I fell on my tushy, Sarah!
Don't move! I'll save you! [pulls out a modified fishing pole and casts it in. She catches Jimmy and hauls him out] Pee-yew, Jimmy, you stink.
That's putting it mildly.
Eddy
Hey, why don't you let the guy have some fun, huh?
You're in a sewer, idiot. It's dirty, and stinky...
Eddy
It's called ambiance. It's a swamp ride, get it? What do you girls know about- [a sign is thrown down at him] No skin off my nose, Sarah. I'm sure Kevin, Rolf, even Jonny will-
Eddy
Go-karting?
And they won't be back till supper. Bye bye.
Pinch me I'm dreaming. Whee. I feel just like Elvis Presley. Jealous? [the golden paint develops cracks] Oh no. [gasped] When will the torment end? [falls, and the paint on the pants shatters into tiny pieces. He is wearing Ed's pants]
That wasn't gold, fakers.
Eddy
Busted.
Nope. Can't think of a word.
[Nazz retrieves the $5 bill from Eddy]
Here's your money, Jimmy. [to the Eds] Grow up.
Wait till you get home, Ed.
Spending extended time in female company can be mentally disorientating and physically confusing.
Eddy
What's with you?
Ed's trouser-less state seems to have jogged an intellectual moment within the confines of his brain.
Eddy
Ed? Is that you?
Eddy
Well, that didn't last long.
Eddy
Ed!
[holding a sprig of mistletoe] Do you see what I see? [puckers up]
Eddy
Where'd you get that mistletoe? It's July!
There's no kissing allowed in my parents' room, Ed!
Eddy
[using Edd as a shield] You take care of Ed, Double D. I've got another nut to crack. Or should I say, piggy bank.
Murphy's law, do your stuff! [a clothespin lands on his foot] Ouch! My foot! It's broken! Owie!
That clothespin went right for him, Plank.
Did someone get the number of that launderade?
Eddy
[comes down in a kiddie pool standing on his tongue as his grand finale] Ta-da! [sees all the kids leaving]
Plank says clothespins are known to attack at the blink of an eye.
Eddy
It was horrible! [fake coughs] Did I say it was horrible?
Horrible it was. A giant Swedish meatball with a bloodcurdling scream grabbed Eddy in its drooling grasp! [makes chewing sounds]
Rolf has seen this meatball. It stalks Wilfred in the dead of night.
[Cut to Sarah and Jimmy]
You stay put here, Jimmy. I'll get some kids to help me carry you to your room. And don't forget to drink, you need to keep your fluids up.
You forgot the straw, Sarah. [an acorn falls into his drink] An acorn. Hello, Mister Squirrel. You're cute.
[Cut back to the Eds and the kids]
You're so brave, Eddy. Is there anything we can do for you?
Eddy
The fact that I'm surrounded by all my friends is all I need.
You're just a big faker. Jimmy's the one who is really hurt.
Eddy
Come closer, my child. You tell Jimmy he's out of his league.
[in the backyard, he has been crushed by a tree] Sarah! Owie!
[gasps] It's Jimmy! Jimmy's in trouble!
Eddy
Hey, wait! Where ya goin'? Where's my attention? I was attacked by a meatball.
Eddy
Hit the road, Bubbleboy. What the...
Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf.
What are you talking about, man?
Rolf's eyes fool the brain of Rolf. Must I spell it? We have guests.
[Eddy crash-lands on Rolf and Kevin]
Eddy
It worked! I'm safe! I'm better than Jimmy!
Did 'ya see that, Plank? Great crash, Eddy.
[floating down] Greetings, earthlings! Oh, you too, Mr. Doggie. You're cute. [a low growl is heard] I'm safe! No problem! [his suit tears and deflates] Not safe! Not safe! Help me!
Eddy
See? This is Mommy's note, and my exact copy. Pretty good, huh? He'll never tell the difference.
Eddy
And you're like a human photocopier, right, Mr. Perfecto?
Dare to compare. [shows Eddy an identical sticky note to the one written by Edd's parents]
Eddy
Will you ever cease to amaze me, Ed?
[As one of Ed and Eddy's sticky note pranks, Edd has to get a cup of sugar from the Kanker sisters]
Hello? Oh, I-I was going to-
Oh yes...C-Could I trouble you for a cup of sugar?
He wants to share condiments.
Marie, grab him before he runs away.
Eddy
This is better than cable.
Eddy
And I thought today was gonna be a write-off. Get it? Write off? [the cup flies overhead] I can't stand it! [laughs]
[Edd crawls by, hiding inside his hat]
Oh no! They tore off Double D's head!
IT'S THE STICKY NOTES OF THE APOCALYPSE!!! I can't go on. There's only one solution; I'll just move in with one of you.
Move in with me! Move in with me!
Eddy
Yeah, Lumpy could use some company.
We can be like brothers and share the same bathroom.
[After Eddy's made-up story]
"The square root of a piece of pie"?
Eddy
What?
Pure fiction, Eddy. Your exaggerated tale could only be described as cockamamie.
Tsk, tsk, tsk. I have never heard such language.
Don't stop now! What happened next? What happened next?
Ed, Edd n Eddy · 220 quotes
